Cautionary Tale for you Marrieds out there

[masraum]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

That’s actually an interesting idea. I tend to store data electronically because it’s easier to update, but she likes things written on paper. It would work for her.

She wasn’t crazy except for not keeping records in some known secure place. He was as stupid about money as he is about everything else. She started locking down assets after he cashed in a $70,000 IRA to fund some business scheme without telling her. He wasn’t aware of the 10% penalty for early withdrawal.

I had a feeling that there was a reason she didn't have him set up with easy access.

[stomachmonkey]

Get a LastPass family plan to manage online accounts.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Same here, it would be easy for either of us if something terrible happened.

What if something happens to both of you? That's part of my issue... protecting my family assets.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by KC911

What if something happens to both of you? That's part of my issue... protecting my family assets.

Yeah and that’s a valid concern, we don’t have a living will at this point in time. Good reminder that we need to get one in place.

[GH85Carrera]

My wife and I went to a lawyer and had simple wills made up. Executors named, and so on.

It is a shame that lady in the first post died, but it sounds like they had a marriage NOT based on trust.

[911 Rod]

I really don't get people.
Spend the few hundred dollars and get a proper will made with a lawyer.
It amazes me how many say "I can get one online".
In this case it does sound like she wanted to take it with her, or at least he wouldn't get it.

[cmccuist]

Originally Posted by 911 Rod

I really don't get people.
Spend the few hundred dollars and get a proper will made with a lawyer.
It amazes me how many say "I can get one online".
In this case it does sound like she wanted to take it with her, or at least he wouldn't get it.

Once we had some assets to actually pass on, this is exactly what we did! Now the wife (or me if it goes that way) and the kids are all taken care of. We got a living trust type to cut down on taxes.

Also, i have a Word document that is password protected that i constantly update with all my account numbers, log in ID's and passwords, SSN's, 401k account info, drivers license numbers, passport numbers, even my Pelican Parts log in. My wife has the password to that and it's basically our entire life.

Not sure how secure it is though, but you'd have to look for that document and then hack it to get at the info. So i guess it's ok.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by masraum

I haven't been through this myself, but from what I understand, it can be a huge pain to get an account holder to release an account to the spouse. What I've heard is that you have to provide death certificate and jump through a bunch of hoops. It probably keeps people from pulling a fast one and stealing the money, but it doesn't make it any easier for the person that's left.

This is true. She died at home from unknown causes so there had to be an autopsy. They got a preliminary death certificate the next day, but the final death certificate won't be issued until all the toxicology information comes in. The banks won't release any accounts until the final death certificate is issued in 6 to 8 weeks. He can't even get into their joint bank deposit box. He is really screwed for the time being. One thing I don't understand is that, while he can't do basically anything else, he can still use their joint checking account.

I've tried to give him a little advice.
Get a lawyer
Don't let anyone into the house
Get a lawyer
and
Get a lawyer

All of our assets are in a trust. We set it up this way because supposedly when I become incapacitated MrsWD automatically becomes the trustee and has access to all the assets in the trust. Watch all this transpire, I'm beginning to wonder if she would have to wait 2 months for a death certificate before she has access to the trust assets.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by 911 Rod

In this case it does sound like she wanted to take it with her, or at least he wouldn't get it.

She wanted to make sure he didn't piss it away at once and become destitute. Given some of his behavior in the past that is a valid concern. Let's just say he has an addiction.

[GH85Carrera]

When I was meeting the neighbors at my first house, there was a couple in their 70s right behind my house. Nice folks. He dropped dead, and then I found out he was one that wanted a "housewife" and she had never learned to drive, had no idea about any of the financial holdings, not even what bank they used. All she knew was how to cook and clean the house. She had no idea about yard work.

She was helpless. Fortunately her younger sister was a modern woman, and came to her rescue. They had to figure out where the assets were just to pay the utilities and buy groceries. She had to learn to drive, and learn to be a real adult.

She had a tough year, but she learned a lot. I just can't fathom that level of control he wanted over his wife.

[dad911]

My wife is a CPA. I hope she outlasts me, otherwise I'm screwed also.

[Zeke]

Wouldn't a trust have made all of this moot? Mine tells all about all.

[john70t]

Originally Posted by tabs

Why didnt you say this in the beginning. It puts a whole new light on the matter.

Sure does. It sounds like she was the one dragging a ball and chain.

I think he needs to pony up for a dedicated estate lawyer. Buy the extra large lube. Get a HELOC or personal loan to cover all expenses if need be. The assets may be in several bank accounts or funds and he will need to track them all down. She may also have insurance policies or transferable retirement plans. The bank accounts will probably reveal most of it. First thing he needs to do is get executor of will and/or power of attorney status(not sure about the terminology) powers before anyone will even talk to him legally. It's a step-by-step process. Probate will take a year or two and also be expensive.

A trust, managed by several non-vested parties, would have prevented all of that.

[asphaltgambler]

The guys wife appeared to have been a control freak and hiding secrets. I've seen this before and can say this all didn't happen overnight, he did not lead his household, he let his wife lead which results in disaster.

As far as the life celebration service issue...…... it also appears she's still in charge in spite of being 6' under...……………..

[island911]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

.... His family is a bunch of Trump's deniers and think face masks should only be used during armed robberies..

Just always getting the political digs in.

Old people like you SHOULD be wearing n95 masks when going out in an unknown crowd. Eye protection is a good idea too. Wearing a bandana is not going to cut it. Perhaps that's the type of mask for a bank robbery.

[island911]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

..

She wasn’t crazy except for not keeping records in some known secure place. He was as stupid about money as he is about everything else. She started locking down assets after he cashed in a $70,000 IRA to fund some business scheme without telling her. He wasn’t aware of the 10% penalty for early withdrawal.

So HE was stupid for taking a 7k hit to USE the money for a business venture

But SHE was smart to die with a bunch of savings. ...squirreled away somewhere.

hmmm...

Maybe you haven't heard this but, you can't take it with you.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by island911

So HE was stupid for taking a 7k hit to USE the money for a business venture

Yes. The $7k only the penalty the IRS took. He paid income tax on the rest. Don't you know how an IRA works?
He lost the rest of his "investment" when his business went belly up. It was a $70,000 plus hit to the family finances. Decision made by one spouse, not it consultation with the other one.

Originally Posted by island911

But SHE was smart to die with a bunch of savings.

Yes, money he can live on, hopefully for the rest of his life.

[island911]

If he can find it.

How much is THAT going to cost?

Let me guess ... MORE than 7k.

oh no!!!

[island911]

She sounds like a selfish controlling ...

She certainly did not set him up with an annuity POD

What a wreck - which was your point, right?

[911boost]

Yep, way to put the political dig in.