Kid attacked my boy. What would you do?

[berettafan]

Fair enough but i think things are a bit different now with electronic records.

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by matthewb0051

From when I took cases there, I remember little 4 ft urchins walking in in miniature hospital scrubs and handcuffed to the person on either side of them. They all thought they were so tough and cool. Nope, they just needed a beating and some of them were absolutely heading down the road to adult prison it was just a matter of time.

It's pretty hard to watch. I'd say main factor was lack of parents or parenting. Lots were in custody of a grandparent(s) and didn't give 2 poops about what granny had to say. The rest usually had one parent at home and they were uncontrollable. As in out way past dark committing offenses. My parents would have crushed me.

Would an updated version of Scared Straight be of any use?

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by berettafan

Fair enough but i think things are a bit different now with electronic records.

Which is also fair.

I don't want, nor does UB, want to wreck this kid, but what the big boy did was assault, which resulted in a concussion.

The Big Boy and I would meet.

[matthewb0051]

Originally Posted by flatbutt

Would an updated version of Scared Straight be of any use?

For the majority of these kids probably not. Your average decent kid that did something stupid, absolutely. But I don't think the decent kid is in that system in great numbers

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Which is also fair.

I don't want, nor does UB, want to wreck this kid, but what the big boy did was assault, which resulted in a concussion.

The Big Boy and I would meet.

And I have no doubt that you would "read the kid", his reaction, attitude, etc. and take an appropriate course of action.

Methinks unclebilly will too fwiw.

[Arizona_928]

Originally Posted by KC911

And I have no doubt that you would "read the kid", his reaction, attitude, etc. and take an appropriate course of action.

Methinks unclebilly will too fwiw.

Knowing kids these days. The little sob will pull a fight club and say you hit him, touched, ect

[908/930]

Hopefully your son will be ok. One thing I will add and it should go over well on an American website LOL, have the RCMP check if there are any firearms at the kids house, if so they should remove them, likely it is on there list of things to check.

[WPOZZZ]

Billy, giving a kid a concussion from a body slam would get most kids arrested. This is more than just anger management issues. He will need psychological help, but as you said, you live in a small community. As such, the proper help may not be available to in your community, and there may be stigma attached to him going to a psychologist. There will also be issues with other kids teasing him about it, that could negate any gains. If it were me, I would get the cops involved. If this kid follows his current path, his life will probably be screwed anyway. With cops/courts involved, he may get the treatment he needs.

You are definitely a good man.

[Alan A]

Originally Posted by KC911

You may be right, but UB knows this kid, we don't, and those were his words. I'd want to talk to him if it were me. If this is the worse thing he has ever done, and he knows he eff'd up, and showed real remorse .... he might just need an outlet or help channeling his anger.

I'd talk to him ... but that's just me.

Hammer time could then be invoked depending upon how the conversation went. He might just need "work on the farm" and an unclebilly in his life ... I dunno.

And I might be wrong ....

First post was

He has anger management issues and this isn’t his first violent outburst at school.

I’d throw the kitchen sink at the little **** if it was my kid. Clearly the school doesn’t care - or they’d have removed him the first time he did this, so I’d be on them too.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Started to read the thread, haven't read the thread but there's surely both great advice and really bad advice.

My take: If a kid that young is seriously hurting other kids (sorry for your kid getting hurt U-billy), that kid is in a world of hurt, is going to have a very painful life in front of him both in and out of prison, and is in a world of hurt all on his own.

I'm not sure why the school isn't involved but they and psychologists and medical doctors need to see this boy before he ruins his own life and slightly more importantly, someone else's life.

Do the right thing and insert yourself as much as you are comfortable with and get this kid help. He's 13. 13! His brain has another 7+ years to develop. Be a true hero make sure it goes in the right direction. Or at least do as much as you can.

[fintstone]

Methinks some of you would throw a child away a bit too quickly. At 12 or 13, this is what kids did where I grew up. I was body slammed many times...and sometimes returned the favor or more in retaliation. It was just a part of growing up and everyone wanted to be alpha and played rough. At least in the country. They really did not intend long term injury...but their decision-making process was just immature. If this were high school and grown men 18-year-old seniors were beating 13/14-year old children (freshmen) I would look at it a lot different. I did see some of that in high school (think Dazed and Confused, but not funny) and really thought that adults should have stepped in then. In elementary school (1-8th), it never seemed like a real issue and usually kids intentionally were separated by grade age and did not spend time with older kids.

[DWBOX2000]

Sorry to hear about your son. Some people suck, others learn suck from sucky parents. Too bad, it could have been a great learning moment if any adults stepped up. Kid could probably use a strong, mature mentor. Most kids aren’t naturally dicks.

[Rikao4]

throw away ..
we love dogs..
this kid is a bad Pit waiting to happen..
and I say this loving all dogs..
not him..
its his keepers that will let him down..
expose him to stuff he cannot handle..
and then hem and haw about what they should..
could have done...

Rika

[KFC911]

Mebbe some kids are a totally lost cause at 13, but I remember a few that were on a VERY bad path then and totally changed. Good luck UB!

[Danimal16]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

I have no current plans to sue anyone. That’s not the point of this post.

Money won’t fix this problem.

I would involve the police. AND, file an administrative claim against the school for the costs you have incurred. You don't have to sue, but the admin claim will get some attention. Also, has this brute been involved in other violence? If so, the school may need to assess how it is handling this type of behavior.

[Geneman]

I have not read this thread in it entirety ... but I can add a few comments.. having gone to inner city public schools in the 60s-70s ... I was jumped enough times in MS and HS to finally figure it out. with NO parental input or knowledge. grab a brick, put it in your back pack , calmly take it out and whack the crap , right in the head , of anyone who is coming at you.... the backup was always a homemade shiv taped to your forearm......

[Jeff Hail]

Billy, sorry to hear your child was hurt, missed some school and lost some opportunities.

Life is not fair and sometimes its live to fight another day. Both CHILDREN need to figure out quickly nobody is going to be around to protect them forever and another cant just go around body slamming others unprovoked.

A parents worst dread is a child being badly injured or worse.

If it happened at a school event the school needs to be involved because yours was injured. If you know the other child or his parents reaching out to discuss the incident is necessitated.

In my day two fathers would meet and two children would shake hands and say what needed to be said to get past it. Its how men are made.


Don't make the other child your problem. He is his parents responsibility for now.

Once yours is healed he still will need to mend his pride, dust himself off and get back on his horse. Only he can do that. He needs to understand he does not need permission to defend himself ever. The bigger person will walk away but sometimes thats just not going to happen. That he will take with him for the rest of his life and be a big part of who he becomes later.

[KFC911]

Without hearing both sides of this incident, and make no mistake, the "big boy" was wrong, I don't think we fully know what happened. NO one simply snaps by having a ball stolen from them in a pick-up game imo. Is" "big boy", who might not be one of the "cool kids" being picked on by others, laughed at, etc. and not having the best home environment reacting with anger? I knew some really "smack talking" kids at that age too .... that really deserved an ass whupping too.... but I'm not saying UB's is one of those either. Kids like "big boy" might become hs school shooters these days if intervention is not performed. If I were UB, and had known the kid since he was 5, then I would want to talk to him .... then I would go from there. We are all just speculating and projecting here because UB started this thread ..... but UB seems to have a really good perspective on this incident imo and is taking the right course of action.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

I’ve been talking to the principal since this happened (we have a great relationship). Initially I was empathetic to the kid that did this, he’s not a bully. He’s going through some horrible stuff at home and can’t deal with his emotions. He needs help.

Doing nothing likely won’t get him the help he desperately needs.

Getting him charged and expelled from school likely will make the rest of his life horrible.

What happened to my kid can’t be undone.

This other kid’s future could go 2 ways and I don’t want whatever path I choose to make his life worse.

Originally Posted by unclebilly

I have no current plans to sue anyone. That’s not the point of this post.

Money won’t fix this problem.

Great stuff. I was perplexed by some of the responses. In some circumstances, maybe some of these would be reasonable, but in this case, I think you're on the right track. Thanks for the cool head and compassion.

[Crowbob]

You don’t have to sue for money. You can sue to force change.