Dad… it’s not good

[porsche930dude]

That sucks but perhaps for the better. My granmother had to go to assisted living and she is much happier there because she can do alot more and gets to see people. Before she just went back and forth to the bathroom and watched westerns all day. The rent from her old place more than pays for it.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

We’ve tried everything and are on the downward spiral. There is no fairy tail ending in this but with him closer, atleast we can see him regularly in his last few years. Also perhaps he will start to get to know his only grandchildren (my kids).

We have 4 things at play here:

1. Stubbornness.
2. Diabetes
3. Dementia.
4. Broken hip.

Yeah, and only #4 is curable. I wish you and your family the best.

For what it's worth, my father had dementia and when we moved him to assisted living we had talked so much about "your own apartment in the assisted living complex." He was kind of looking forward to it. (Getting away from my mother was also a motivator for him.)

[unclebilly]

One really bad part of this is that until he fell, I called him every day and we would chat. I’ve spoken to him a handful of times since he’s been in the hospital and he’s mostly incoherent.

I’m sure they are sedating him to some extent to keep him from trying to climb out of bed and hurting himself. His neighbours visited him today and said he was totally out of it. Some of this is likely pain meds, some could be remaining from the anesthetic, some could be sedatives and dementia.

He was asking me yo come get him out of there. I explained again that he can’t leave until he can walk abd he seemed to understand. What am I supposed to do, take him home so he can live in his bed in a pool if urine and feces???

It’s frustrating and hurtful seeing a once brilliant man reduced to this.

[astrochex]

I’m sorry to hear about your dad, UB. I hope he recovers well. Its great that you two are close, stay in touch with him even if he may be incoherent.

I wish my dad was still around to talk to.

[recycled sixtie]

Sorry to hear about your Dad UB. The main thing you have to do is find the right place for him to live after the hospital. Having him at home would need care that you and your wife could not provide. My father in law wanted to stay with us after my mother in law died. He was a very difficult man. Having said that he was the owner of the house where many years ago there were three generations under one roof. When he became more bedridden we got him in the Grandview care home in Edmonton. He accepted that as the new reality. He lived until he was 98.

My mother in the UK was in a group home until she broke her hip and then she went into a blind home as she had eye problems as well. Mentally she was not great and died at the age of 94 likely as the consequence of a broken hip.

Once a person starts falling then it seems to go downhill. Watching a parent waste away is awful to witness. My dad died in 1967 from cancer. He was only 52. I have a sister aged 81 and I am 76. Fortunately we are in pretty good health. The cycle of life continues. Hang in there UB. If you have a supportive spouse it helps. PM me if you need to chat.

[Oracle]

I am very sorry about your Dad.
I wish I had the words that would make you feel better..

I understand you, I'm with you.

[billybek]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

It’s frustrating and hurtful seeing a once brilliant man reduced to this.

I understand this perfectly.