Dating over 60. Not sure I have a point, or just venting.
 

How do y'all deal with dating?

I'm grateful to get asked out a fair amount, but it doesn't change that dating over sixty is like digging through a dumpster looking for the least smelly and broken thing you can find.

That's why I was surprised I had a really good date last Saturday. He's kind, considerate, easy on the eyes, isn't a quasi-hobo, and never once said something blatantly stupid. (He did mention he's an attorney, but I'm letting my 'no lawyers' rule slide for now.)

Anyway, now my crazy insecure inner teenager is overthinking everything. "Maybe I should call. Maybe I shouldn't call. Maybe he's got 5 girlfriends already." Ugh, I'm driving myself nuts.

Supposedly we're going out again Saturday, so I'll see what unfolds.

Dixie, He is a lawyer? Go ahead and put the questions to him. You are the judge.
I am fortunate not to have had to date for 5 decades but I will tell you: if he is worth your time, he will appreciate no smoke and mirrors.
Life is too short for time wasters.

Best
Les

Send him a text to say "That was fun the other night. Looking forward to Saturday."

Shows you are interested, don't have a guy lined up for each night of the week, and it's not over the top.

I won't offer any advice because a) you didn't ask for any, and b) I'm not confident it'd be helpful anyway. But since your "crazy insecure inner teenager is overthinking everything" I thought you'd appreciate a reply.

FWIW, based solely on your posts here you seem insightful, self-aware, and articulate. ZL1 Camaro racks up some credibility points too! So nothing to add, but wishing you good luck.

If he didn't say anything stoopid .... then yer "date" wasn't long enough :D.

I can offer no dating advice .... but I do know a bit about mins... weze dum :)

Good luck!

Dixie,

If you are unsure about where you stand, initiate a conversation. But, always have a question for him that he will need to respond to. If you have plans for Saturday, call him and ask something like, "There's a great new (restaurant, movie, or nightclub) that I'd like to try. What's your preference?"

But, the one question that a woman could ask to ensure that you have a second date would be, "Your place or mine?" :)

Don't overthink it Dixie. The rules we used back in the day don't really work anymore, at least not for me. Just be your genuine self.

Just saying; the natural inclination after introductions is finding something in common.

The only thing I know for sure about Women:

- "If they're interested they'll let you know".

Awww... Thank ya kindly for your encouragement. http://forums.pelicanparts.com/suppo...eys/Petals.gif

Just throwing this out there. The funniest pick-up attempt I ever encountered was with a homeless guy in the Walmart parking lot.

"Ma'am, do you have $5 to spare?"
"Sorry, I do not "
"Well, would you like to go on a date?"
"Ummm.... Shouldn't you have reversed the order of your questions?"

I didn't get married until age 32, which was about half a century ago now. I dated a lot of women and developed a philosophy which was: Do it for the fun of it, without bothering yourself with expectations. Another thing was to approach new relationships on a friendship basis. Those could be the reasons I didn't get married until late, but they worked out very well.

I was amicably divorced at 44, 15+ years ago now. I was a bit too eager at times just due to my own insecurity. Thinking I wasn't worthy, attractive, etc. I therefore ended up in a few relationships that either lasted too long or I shouldn't have been in. My only advice, take things slowly. I say that having been in situations when I was younger where I was probably moving things too fast. Before I met my wife in 2014, many women I met moved from 1st date to wanting a committed relationship too quickly. Scared me off of several. Be yourself, have fun, pay attention to yellow and red flags and best of luck.

I conquer and I've had much the same experience. My divorce happened when I was 37 (I'm now 58).

There's nothing wrong with a bit of fun but always be mindful of the other persons feelings.

You could do a deep dive on him. You know, FastPeopleSearch, Spokeo...

I was married for 23 years but I knew my ex-wife for more than 30 years. I adored that woman, but my marriage ended at the age of 60. My divorce was messy, long and expensive. I was very beat up mentally, emotionally and had no desire to ever get in any kind of relationship. There was no f'ing way. I was too hurt and broken hearted.

Five years ago, I was moved to a different plant where I worked. There was a woman who I can describe as a pasty white girl with a big mouth - we didn't exactly get along. Shortly after I arrived, I was tasked reviewing several members of the staff, including her - that didn't go well either.

Over time, we would talk professionally, and our interaction became less tense. One day, after an intense phone conversation with my ex-wife, I vented to her about the conversation which was about money and the cost of college. She gave me a strategy that worked for her and her ex. It was a light bulb moment for me, because I should have thought of it. It worked and I thanked her for it. That was a turning point in our relationship.

Now, I have never dated or had any desire to date women where I work so the thought of it was very troubling. And the thought of dating I wasn't feeling confident: I hate women, I will screw it up, I'm not putting my feelings at risk, too old - in short, I was overthinking all of this.

It took me a few months to ask her out. We stated as friends. She was divorced, single mom with one child and a grandmother of 3. Family was very important to her. I liked talking to her, met her family, she met mine. She is very kind to me. All I asked was express her feelings because I was going to share mine, because I don't like secrets or deception. We were friends for 2 years before we became a couple.

For the past 3 years, we have been together. I like this woman. We are quite the opposite, but she makes me a better person. I never thought this would happen. You don't get second chances very often. For a long tiime I was stuck and had to work thru my own thoughts.

There are no set schedules for life events. A person does things when they are ready - there is no rush, no judgment. You will know what is right for you. So, give it a go.

Today, when someone asks how we met, we joke about the pasty white girl comment.

All the best


.

I am just so haply married, the thought of dating gives me the willies. Blech.

I did not get married until I was 38, so I fished the ocean of women, and threw back a lot of rejects.

One bit of advice that I can give is find an hobby that truly interests you. Something like astronomy. Read about it, and find a local astronomy club, it will be full of men. Many will be married, but not all. If not astronomy, guns. Go to a local shooting range and see if there is a regular meeting, learn about guns and learn about the history, and maybe get into skeet shooting or target shooting. Model Airplanes, is another man rich group. Just find a hobby you truly enjoy, and if it is something men do, you will have guys fighting for your attention.

Don't expect to find many single men at home and garden shows or knitting stores.

All men would love to have a lady that really shares their hobby, and enjoys it with them. From fishing, motorcycles, or bow and arrow hobbies. If you hate guns, don't go to gun clubs. Pick a hobby that really interest you.

I dated for 10 years before getting married 10 years ago.
Fun, but not fun.
We all know what happens on the second date :D

I really enjoy reading everyone's posts. It's fun to read y'all's stories. Thank you for sharing.

Or...I dunno...maybe...Porsche club events?