Why vets dislike talking about their war experience especially WW2 vets

[look 171]

I often hear vets never talk about their experiences if any at all. For me, I like to hear about their first hand experiences. There are so many things that are not in the history books. Is it the gore, and killing of others, or is it just bad memories? I am no shrink but does talking about it help release some of the trauma?

My other questions is, does this apply to western or N American solders or vets, or this is just something vets do from around the world, cultural? For example, Do the N Vietnamese or the African vets talk about their past war experiences?

[pwd72s]

I dunno why, but I do know my B-17 pilot uncle only told my dad bits of his service, and he never spoke of it to me or his daughters. I'm guessing he didn't like to remember the horrible scenes he witnessed. I was born in late '43. My neighborhood during the 50's was full of Vets...and my friends often told me their dads didn't like to talk about "the war".

Don Malarkey would talk freely of funny stuff, didn't really enjoy talking about other stuff...

[RNajarian]

Please refer to post #3121

https://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/1034871-all-things-aviation-related-157.html

As a vet deployed to a combat zone myself I don’t usually speak of my experiences either. Sometimes it is better to just not think about it.

However, I find it easier to commiserate with a fellow vet. When I do talk about my experiences the stories usually revolve around some of the incredible people I served with and how they inspired me.

My favorite story is of “Doc” Good, an ER doctor from Peoria IL ANG. The most humble, hardest working man you will ever meet.

His “kryptonite?” Weak coffee. The man is a saint.

[afterburn 549]

IDK about other wars, but for us Viet vets, we are just happy to be alive .
We know so many others that paid the ultimate price and they are the heroes.
No spot light needed .
It has not been until the last few years I would say much of anything...too deep too long ago.
Plus their names are on the wall and they cant talk.

[RNajarian]

Originally Posted by afterburn 549

IDK about other wars, but for us Viet vets, we are just happy to be alive .
We know so many others that paid the ultimate price and they are the heroes.
No spot light needed .
It has not been until the last few years I would say much of anything...too deep too long ago.
Plus their names are on the wall and they cant talk.

Amen

[masraum]

I've always assumed it was a mostly personal thing based on the psychology of an individual person. Some folks seem willing to talk (or write) about experiences. I assume those folks find it cathartic or theraputic. Many/most folks seem to prefer to try to block it out.

I did get a guy that had been to, I think, Iraq, to talk about it once. He told me two stories. One, he, and his group of guys had a guy that they didn't trust to be able to be violent when needed. So he goaded and prodded this guy mercilously until the guy eventually stabbed him in the leg. He said it sucked, but after that, he was confident that the guy would be OK. Another story, his guys were in a situation. They'd split up and were going down either side of a wall. There was an explosion on the other side of the wall, and all that was left of his buddy(s) that had been on that side of the wall was "red mist". The wall was painted with them. That was the end of story time.

From what I understand, my grandfather wouldn't really talk about his time in WWII. I'm not sure about my uncle who was a Seabee in vietnam.

[recycled sixtie]

Good topic Look171. My father was a Lancaster pilot in WW2. He did two tours of operations and never talked about any of it ever. He was affected by it mentally. He did not talk much. He smoked a lot and died in 1967 at age 52 from cancer.
Lest we forget.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by afterburn 549

You stole my post quote.

Fixed. It will not happen again.

[look 171]

Do you think foreign vets feel the same way or is there a cultural difference on how they view their past as a vet? There's a large Vietnamese community in the county south of us, Orange County. I have been temped to go there one morning and find am old men hang out and start a conversation about their experiences as a Vietnamese vet. I bet those guys went through a lot of siht there but I would feel pretty weird to just stop by with a cup of coffee and ask dumb questions.

Both my uncles were in WW2, cooks in the Pacific and never said much about it only mentioned peeling potato in rough seas. Again, I was a little boy so I never got to ask or were too interest in the war or their experiences about their past.

[look 171]

Back in college, I was introduced to a Luftwaffe fighter pilot by an old client. I ended up doing some simple home repairs for him. They were both in the Civil Air Patrol. I open my dumb mouth, and ask what is was like flying for Nazi Germany. He corrected me quickly, "Not Nazi, Luftwaffe". He also didn't talk much but I was a little young to ask the right questions. I only work on his house for a few days repairing all the wood windows.

[afterburn 549]

Originally Posted by look 171

Do you think foreign vets feel the same way or is there a cultural difference on how they view their past as a vet? There's a large Vietnamese community in the county south of us, Orange County. I have been temped to go there one morning and find am old men hang out and start a conversation about their experiences as a Vietnamese vet. I bet those guys went through a lot of siht there but I would feel pretty weird to just stop by with a cup of coffee and ask dumb questions.

Both my uncles were in WW2, cooks in the Pacific and never said much about it only mentioned peeling potato in rough seas. Again, I was a little boy so I never got to ask or were too interest in the war or their experiences about their past.

Try it and see!
What Nixon did to that Country and people is beyond a stinking reproach.
When N.VietNam came in, they killed anyone /everyone in S Nam , Laos and Cambodia that had ties or might have had ties to the Americans.
There are pictures of literally mountains of bodies piled 15 feet high!

[Arizona_928]

Originally Posted by look 171

Back in college, I was introduced to a Luftwaffe fighter pilot by an old client. I ended up doing some simple home repairs for him. They were both in the Civil Air Patrol. I open my dumb mouth, and ask what is was like flying for Nazi Germany. He corrected me quickly, "Not Nazi, Luftwaffe". He also didn't talk much but I was a little young to ask the right questions. I only work on his house for a few days repairing all the wood windows.

My first semester at Arizona state, i had a 400 level German course with a retiring professor. On the last day of the class, he showed off his medals and invited us to his retirement party… They were Wehrmacht medals. He did not speak of his service, but when we watched “ Die Brücke“, he shed tears…

[look 171]

Originally Posted by afterburn 549

Try it and see!
What Nixon did to that Country and people is beyond a stinking reproach.
When N.VietNam came in, they killed anyone /everyone in S Nam , Laos and Cambodia that had ties or might have had ties to the Americans.
There are pictures of literally mountains of bodies piled 15 feet high!

I remember this young Cambodian couple that lived in the back house of a neighbor's across the street from us. They both worked as seamstress, starting out all over again in a new country. She would bring my mother some of her home cooked food at times. My parents would drive them to the local Asian market when and if they go knowing they would have carry groceries on the bus and had to walk 1/2 miles home from the bus stop. She was from a well to do family in the city going to college but had to fled when her parents were shot in front of her. They left a set of twins babies who died on the way, was left on the side of the road due to lack of food while she can no longer product milk for her kids. I was 8 or 9 then and never forget some of her stories. I think about it often and we don't have it so bad yet we complain about gender bathrooms today.

[look 171]

Originally Posted by Arizona_928

My first semester at Arizona state, i had a 400 level German course with a retiring professor. On the last day of the class, he showed off his medals and invited us to his retirement party… They were Wehrmacht medals. He did not speak of his service, but when we watched “ Die Brücke“, he shed tears…

I gotta see this movie, thanks

[jhynesrockmtn]

My son is in the process of leaving the army after 10 years. First infantry, then SF Captain. He did two mid east deployments before SF selection and has since spent a bunch of time in Asia on what I've been told are mostly training deployments. He's a naturally quiet person anyway, but does not talk about his experiences without prompting, and then only gives minimal information. It could be security driven, but I think it's mostly just humility. I think that's pretty common from what I've seen with his peers. He shies away from any outward indication he is in the military. No stickers on the cars, nothing on his clothing. Just goes about his business. I think with the greatest generation, a lot can be trauma driven, but I also think that a lot of these guys, old and young, are just humble by nature and training.

[Brian 162]

My friends dad was a bomb aimer on a Lancaster bomber. He completed all his missions. He never talked about it. Near the end of his life he opened up a little and told some stories to his grandson.

[Racerbvd]

My Grandfather was a W.W I vet, and a few other events around that era, my father, like many at the time, lied about his age to enter W.W.II. I never heard one story about what they saw. The closest from my father, was him dealing with the guilt from breaking his father's jaw, after he told him that he was joining the Navy at barely 17. Was the

You will never be tougher than your Old Man lesson

⁸IMHO, based on family and friends who were there, it is Painful, they won't forget, but they don't want to be reminded either. And when it comes to Vietnam, again, from people I was very close to , some had to do things that they would prefer to block out, as it haunts them. I only know this because I had to be there for friends, one a marine, in a helicopter crew, who did things that haunted him until he died me, 1st hand, no, but the effects even years later, I saw the effects his time had on him. So, I never ask any soldier about theater, if someone wants to share, or needs to, i will quietly listen and have a shoulder. Those of us who have not experienced it, have no clue what those who have, delt with and many sadly, still dealing with. If you have a friend, from any theater, be a true friend, don't ask, but listen, if they feel the urge to talk about it. Most importantly, DON'T JUDGE..

[Ayles]

Because the percentage that actually sees combat is quite small and the bulk majority (90%) do not wish to bore people to death with details of their day jobs while serving.

[look 171]

I hope you know that I am not talking vets bragging about what they did. That's not what I am talking about.

[RNajarian]

Originally Posted by look 171

I hope you know that I am not talking vets bragging about what they did. That's not what I am talking about.

No confusion there. Your initial post was very clear.