He just wanted to catch a few "Z"s:D

Best
Les

Watch out for the P. [emoji2957]

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

I saw a short video online the other day. It was some guy telling a joke to a couple of other people.

The Dr told me that I need to stop masturbating.
I asked him why.
He said "because I'm trying to exam you."

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<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bT9BubPZYGM" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Jewish joke

Two gentile acquaintances see each other on the street
One asks the other "How's business?"
The other says "Great!".

(Jerry Seinfeld)

I'm not Jewish, and maybe I'm just a little slow today, but I don't get it.

The premise is Jewish businessmen will always complain about how bad things are. Therefore gentile businessmen would do the opposite.
It wasn't his best work.
Best
Les

Sienfeld thought the joke was outstanding. I don't think he penned it, tho.

Another related is a gentile buys a suit. Asks how much. $395 says the guy who fitted him. Gentile says ok.

What do you call a priest who is also a lawyer?
Father-in-law.

One day a father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers that it was his daughter's birthday. He stops at a toy store and goes in and asks the salesperson, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?"

The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean? “We have, work out Barbie for $19.95, shopping Barbie for $19.95, beach Barbie for $19.95, disco Barbie for $19.95, astronaut Barbie for $19.95, skater Barbie for$19.95, and divorced Barbie for $265.95".

The amazed father asks: "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"

The slightly miffed salesgirl rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's truck, Ken's house, Ken's fishing boat, Ken's furniture, Ken's dog, Ken's computer, one of Ken's friends, and a key chain made from Ken's testicles."

My first thought after hearing the news that Olaf Schultz ok'd the export of Leopard 2 MBT's to Ukraine:

For the very first time in European history, the phrase "German tanks are coming!" is actually GOOD news.

Q: What is the second best sound in the world?
A: A pair of silk panties hitting the floor next to your bed.
.
.
.
Q: What is the best sound in the world?
A: Two pair.

Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

Sam Kinison

I was in Walmart using the restroom and just as I closed my stall door, a voice from the next stall said, “Hi! How are you?” Embarrassed... I said, “I’m aight!!" The voice said, "So what are you up to?” I said, “Ummm... Just trying to handle a little private business over here!” Then I hear, “Can I come over?” Annoyed... I said “Excuse me?!?!." Then the voice said, “Listen, I will have to call you back, there’s an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions!"

Now that's funny!