i need a polite exit strategy for religious visitors

[Jims5543]

BTW - I have not knocked on doors for years but, when someone would come to a door and want to show me how well versed they are in the bible I would compliment them on their zeal for god and tell them the world would be a better place if it was filled with men like them. Then I would move on. Nothing I was going to say was going to change his mind and vice versa.

Its funny I hate discussing politics and religion in a social setting. I just hate it. It was VERY difficult for me to go and knock on someones door to deliver a message my church felt was urgent and needed to be delivered. It pained me to knock on someones door on a Saturday morning when I know I would be in bed still if I was not out there doing that.

My knock was light and the doorbell was off limits. I knoew what it was like to be out till 4 in the morning and sleeping in.

All JW's are not jerks. Every religion has its annoying zelots and usually that is what you have knocking on your door. They do not represent the whole lot.

I prefer to be in your rearview mirror on a track than knocking on your door.

[svandamme]

bump on this thread... to re-explain why i so dislike religions freaks who bug folks at home :

my grandfather died last monday-tuesday , i was with him
i hear his last breath, saw him turn yellow in the course of a minute... no pain , he went out like a candle..the morphine was insurance...

he was religious, so was my grandmother who survived him...
the Funeral was this saturday and all went well, he had a good life born in France ,1921, parents not yet returned from exile from WW1...
he was a simple man, factory worker , worked himself up from blue collar to white collar...honest , straightforward, and fair...was a POW in WW2, then was a forced labourer... and the war never left his mind...he only relaxed in his last few years.. before that , he was always thinking before spending even a penny... because he never knew when another war was around the corner..

at his funeral , we had politicians, industrial bigwigs, and even a couple of bums he met in the park... even some folks who worked for him ,he retired a long time a go, but they remembered...he was in the church choir and the service was in the big cathedral in my town.. and it was filled...

but never mind that.. just sketching his character...

our family stuck together, we aren't very religious , except my grandmother, and we went along with it for her peace...
we are very pragmatic about it ...it's the way of things, he didn't suffer ( trombose , one moment fine, next moment unconscience)...

yet somebody found it necessary, at this time, to spam us(all 5 kids, and grandma) with a hand written letter, yapping about religious ****e, and bible quotes... with 2-3 folder of the watchtower in the envelope...

it's pathetic really , to annoy people when they are grieving , in a sick attempt to lure more people to your own faith... hoping that people are weaker during hard times.. more succeptable...
and to do so under the motive of "i'm doing it to help" while in fact it's a purely egotistical motive "to save souls and gain access to heaven for ones own soul"...

[Joeaksa]

Show up in your underwear, a joint in your mouth and pierced nipple. Usually works fine...

[artplumber]

Originally posted by svandamme
he was religious, so was my grandmother who survived him...
the Funeral was this saturday and all went well, ...

we aren't very religious , except my grandmother, and we went along with it for her peace...

Stijn your personal feelings about religion are noted. Now I suggest you read your own post. Is it just possible that friends/acquaintances of your GF and GM may actually care deeply for him, know his religious beliefs, and believe themselves that he has something to look forward to? Maybe they want to offer hope to those that are left behind most specifically your GM who believes as they do? Pathetic ain't it?

[svandamme]

Peter, you're missing the point...

we're glad that GM has strengh from her religion , she's religious in a personal way, it's her thing , not ours... we play along to ease up on grand ma... she's 87

as far as grandfather was concerned, most of our family , was more concerned that he was not in any pain, and pretty much didn't see it coming...and even with the morphine, that he wasn't alone

from then on , it's all about grandmother

the point is, that others, unknown to us, noticed the funeral
and felt it was appropirate , to spam us with their own religious propaganda...

that, is uncalled for
that is pathetic, for lack of a better word...
it's offensive, that my dear grandmother, in this time, cannot be allowed to grieve over her dead husband, to which she was married for 65 years... not without some woman spamming us with her crap...

we put our own thoughts and beliefs aside for her sake, so trust me when i say that we didn't appreciate that others didn't do that too

[stomachmonkey]

My wife is Jewsih. I just point at the Mezuzah on the door. I've only had to do this once in any place that we lived, they never come back even though I see them in the neighborhood. They stop to the left of me, walk right past my house and go to the guy on the other side.

Scott

[MRM]

I've had door knockers from various religions stop by from time to time. A "No thanks, I already have a church I very happy with" and a smile always gets a smile in return and puts them on their way.

[Jeff Higgins]

Originally posted by svandamme
it's pathetic really , to annoy people when they are grieving , in a sick attempt to lure more people to your own faith... hoping that people are weaker during hard times.. more succeptable...
and to do so under the motive of "i'm doing it to help" while in fact it's a purely egotistical motive "to save souls and gain access to heaven for ones own soul"...

Wow, lighten up a little bit there, Stijn. I'm sure there was no malicious intent whatsover on their part. They saw a grieving family and tried to help the best they could. People tend to do that. They had no idea they were annoying you, nor did they set out to do so.

Do you honestly think they would swoop in like that to take advantage of you during your hard times? Holy *****; what an incredibly cynical view. Do you honestly think they are working under some kind of an awards system, where the more "subscriptions" they "sell", the more points they score with the "Big Guy"?? That this is some kind of "purely egotistical move" to do all of this? Wow. Just plain wow. Maybe this is more of a reflection on how you conduct your business, on the ethics you employ. You just expect everyone else to opperate the same way...

[sammyg2]

You have the same right to your beliefs as they have to theirs.

These people believe that they can help you by providing the answer which will save your soul from hell. Agree or not, that is what they believe. They are there bugging you because they want to help you, even if you do not want that help.

They really care about you and think they can help you, but what most of these folks don't get is that true faith is something that comes in god's time and cannot or should not be forced.
If a person isn't ready, then pushing the message does more harm than good.

I suggest you understand that they mean well, but you tell them firmly that you have a right to believe what you want just as they do and you have a strong belief, and you are not interested in hearing what they have to say.

No matter how obnoxious they may seem, in their hearts they think they are helping you. Just try to set them straight. Being mean to them when they have your best interests in mind (no matter how mis-guided) is kind of wierd, right?

[the]

I agree, I don't know why people are so hostile to these types. It seems like many find them threatening for some reason.

Me, I'm not religious, and generally aren't interested in hearing what they say. But I do believe they are genuine people, who are taking their time, pounding the pavement, to do what they genuinely believe is good. Which is more than 99% of people of "faith" are willing to do.

I can't fault them for that, even if they take 30 seconds out of my day. I always treat them with kindness and courtesy.

[artplumber]

Originally posted by svandamme
Peter, you're missing the point...

we're glad that GM has strengh from her religion , she's religious in a personal way, it's her thing , not ours... we play along to ease up on grand ma... she's 87

...
from then on , it's all about grandmother

the point is, that others, unknown to us, noticed the funeral
and felt it was appropirate , to spam us with their own religious propaganda...

....
it's offensive, that my dear grandmother, in this time, cannot be allowed to grieve over her dead husband, to which she was married for 65 years... not without some woman spamming us with her crap...

we put our own thoughts and beliefs aside for her sake, so trust me when i say that we didn't appreciate that others didn't do that too

So if it's all about GM, and she believes in an afterlife as they do (maybe not the exact same beliefs), and people are trying to offer her hope b/c of her beliefs - they are pathetic?

Look I don't know what they "spammed" you with, but the way this comes across, is like there is a chip on your shoulder against anything religious, even if well intentioned...

[svandamme]

i am religious myself, i don't need anybody else coming to sell his own crap...i don't go around selling mine...i don't have a chip about religion , i have a chip about people selling religion


what did they send us ? well , a hand written letter, to make it look personal, and 2 folders from the watch tower society, and the handwritten text came word for word from the folders,

i really find this inexcusable, it is our moment of pain and nobody can convince me that it is acceptable to use that loss as a means to get a foot in the door , to sell religion, it is not right and it will never be right

my grandmother didn't need anybody "offering" here hope for an afterlife, she doesn't need other beliefs , she has her own and she finds plenty comfort in it...

the only one who got something out of it, was the one that wrote us those letters...

and to tell me to lighten up , well , i just hope nobody comes and bothers you with unwanted and unsollicited preaching when you are in between the death and the funeral of a loved one...

you think about how well you would like it , if say a Muslim would come around your door , and tell you that your belief isn't good enough ( because that is essentially what is beeing said if somebody feels to need to send you folders of the watchtower)

the big faiths don't do these things, it's a cheap practice to prey on people who just went through a painfull event... it's the sort of thing you would attribute to cults....

[Jims5543]

Stijn - First they did not come and knowck on your door so this thread seems a little inapropriate for your story.

Since a Watchtower was involved they were JW's but I am unclear if your Grandfather and Grandmother were too.

Additionally if your grandmother was a JW just to keep thepeace, wow! that is a lot of work to just keep peace. JW's attend church for 5 meetings a week, then there is the prep for those meetings and then the door to door work which you have to prep for too, its a 7 day a week commitment.

The letter that was sent to you was sent because of the connection with the JW's through your relatives. It was an attmpt to console you and show you there was a hope to see your loved ones again.

I do not think they were out to get another member. If you knew how the JW religion works you would know they are not like that, nor are they money hungry. There is no on one the church payroll and they only want/need enought to keep the mortgage paid and lights on in the place. There is no tithing at all. I really think this persons motive was to console. Unfortunatly you seem to hate them and anything they do irritates you so this was a perfect opportunity for you to go ape ***** over their attempt to be nice.

[svandamme]

Jim, you didn't read my posts.. you got it all wrong

my grandparents are not JW ! , that's why i'm so ticked off, she's a devote Catholic so was my grandfather, and that was very obvious from the obituary ,it stated that GP died after havingt received the sacraments, and then some more traditional catholic sayings... and that the funeral is in the catholic cathedral in our town... yet despite the very catholic obituary , this JW found it necessary to send watchtower propaganda, and that's what it is , no more no less...there is no connection with JW in our family never has been...it's not a personal letter to console, it was word for word the text from one of those folders...which means it's a blatant attempt to prey on people who just got dealt a blow, and have their guard down ( didn't work on us, but the intent was just that )

Originally posted by Jim Cesiro
Unfortunatly you seem to hate them and anything they do irritates you so this was a perfect opportunity for you to go ape ***** over their attempt to be nice.

i do not hate anyone personally, but i loathe people who badger folks with religion , religion is personal , you can be a satan worshiper or voodoo worshipper for all i care, as long as you practice your faith in a personal way, without bothering other people...

sending template letters and folders to a family inbetween death and funeral is not an attempt to be nice, i do not accept that

[Jims5543]

Please excuse me if I did not follow everything correctly.

If your saying someone sent you and your family a letter and they did not even know you then I agree 100% they are morons.

I have said it before some religions have zelots that are just annoying. I have some in my church and I cannot stand them.
These are the people that ruin it for everyone else. I am sorry this JW did this to you and I agree it is in very poor taste. Just know there are some JW's that are normal people and live normal lives, and they do not feel the need to change the world.

I am also sorry about your loss, I do not know you but when I lost my Grandparents I was sad and miss them a lot.

[notfarnow]

Originally posted by svandamme

my grandfather died last monday-tuesday , i was with him
i hear his last breath, saw him turn yellow in the course of a minute... no pain , he went out like a candle..the morphine was insurance...

Hey Stijn, sorry for your loss. Hard to say if being there made it easier for you or not, but hopefully it made it easier for your grandfather.

[svandamme]

easier for me , dunno, not really relevant...it wasn't pretty during the day as he had big nasty coughs, that was painfull to watch even though the doctor assured us he didn't feel a thing with the blood clot and morphine...he had a last big fit at 01h20... that was really bad to see, especially as the nurse tried to clear his airways with suction... but then he got another hit of morphine and something for the fever... (didn't help , sign of oedema they say)and he went out quiet a bit later...either way , it could have been hard as hell , i still would have been there for him...nobody should die alone in a cold hospital at night...

[notfarnow]

That is really tough stuff. My best friend went through a very similar thing last year when his grandfather died. The old guy hated hospitals and was very unhappy dying there, my buddy was at the hospital for two days, wouldn't leave him alone. Was there holding his hand when he passed away. It was really hard on him, but he knew it was the best thing. He was very close with his grandfather and it took him a good long while to get over it.

Sounds like your grandfather had quite a life, and a great family.

[jluetjen]

Stijn;
I'm sorry to hear about your Grandfather, it sounds like you were pretty close to him. It seems like you and the rest of your family are quite close which always helps adjusting to the loss.

I can understand your frustration when strangers pop up to prostolysize during a difficult time like that. I wish they would consider how their message will be received (or not) when they wade into situations like that. From their perspective, chances are they'd have better success towards their objectives if they tried a different strategy rather then getting your face when you are stressed by a sudden loss.

I hope that you've got many warm memories of your grandfather. Unfortunately I never met either of mine. As I get older though, I often find comfort thinking back to the happy times that I've with my friends and relatives. It's those experiences that make life worth while.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Why is it that these people can't understand the simple fact that most people prefer to adopt a "don't-call-me-I'll-call-you" attitude towards this stuff?

Pushy salesmanship - be it for cars, cutlery sets, oranges or Jesus - is unwelcome and tends to raise one's hackles. Mine included. I have little use or tolerance for such people. Fortunately most have gotten the message at my typical initial "not interested, move on" response. The second is a "f*ck off" and the third (fortunately I've never had anyone go there) is a fist to the face.

I respect everyone's right to practice their faith to themselves or with a community of people that choose to gather together for such a purpose. Don't go pushing it on me, however. If I decide I want to learn more or join your cult, I'll come knock on YOUR door.

"Selling skin. . . selling God. . . the numbers look the same on the credit card. . ." ---Queensryche

Pretty much sums up pushy religio-nazis to me.