A cop and his family moved in two houses down - he's not all that friendly

[cantdrv55]

I know a couple of cops. One is a retired San Francisco PD lieutenant, another is a sergeant at the Oakland PD. Both are real nice guys, suspicious as hell, but nice. The cop that moved in recently, however, isn't very friendly or nice at all. I saw him arranging his garage so I walked up and introduced myself. Dude barely looked my way then said hi and walked inside leaving me alone in his garage. He said one word to me and then left. WTF?

I'm gonna try it again when I see him out. If he does the same thing, I think I'll ring the doorbell to try to coax him to chat a bit. We live on a small, semi-private court consisting of 5 homes and we all know each other. I need to know who and what the f___ moved in.

Do you think he's just shy or plain rude? Am I being too much of a busy-body? I really think it's important to learn what your neighbors are about, don't you?

[dhoward]

Originally posted by cantdrv55
I really think it's important to learn what your neighbors are about, don't you?

Yes.
That's what webcams are for....

[strupgolf]

Yea, some of them think THEIR $hit dont stink, and I think you got one of them.

[juanbenae]

you are a mere civilian, what do you expect, repect or something?

[livi]

Anti social myself. Don´t care much for neighbors. Maybe he is like me. Could still be a good guy.

[bryanthompson]

Neighbors should be seen and not heard... like most women (looks in cc's general direction).

[cantdrv55]

Respect is earned. I'd just like to get to know my neighbors. We're going to have a block party soon. Maybe I'll wait until then to try to talk to him again.

[stomachmonkey]

Or he thinks you're going to hit him up for a "get out of ticket" PBA card.

Some people just need time to acclimate.

Give him room. Just wave when you see him.

[Moses]

My father was an Oakland cop for 30 years. Many of my friends are policemen. Here's my take;

Socially well adjusted cops love normal human interaction. Most of their day is spent with miserable people who are unhappy to see them. The opportunity to socialize with normal folks should be welcome.

Unfortunately, a few cops will become pretty antisocial because of the psychological beating they take on the job. I hope your new neighbor isn't one of those.

[cantdrv55]

Originally posted by stomachmonkey
Or he thinks you're going to hit him up for a "get out of ticket" PBA card.

Didn't think about that. You could be right.

[on-ramp]

maybe he was having a bad day and just didn't want to be bothered.

[cantdrv55]

Originally posted by Moses
Unfortunately, a few cops will become pretty antisocial because of the psychological beating they take on the job.

Yep, it takes a special breed to be a cop and live a normal life. I sure hope he's of that pedigree too.

[Jims5543]

We live in a small neighborhood, while I have talked to a few of my neighbors I am really not in the market for new friends.

We recently bought a house in North Carolina. The neighborhood consists of 1 acre + lots. There are 12 houses and they are very spread out.

One house is right below me. One time when we were there our dog and their dog made friends and were tearing around both yards for a while. After about 1/2 hour of this I went to retrieve my, well, retirever. The owner came out to call his dog I came down to get mine. (ears turn off when theres fun to be had). I went to introduce myself to my new neighbor and he was closed up in his house totally not interested in meeting me.

Some people just do not want to be bothered I guess. I do not think its a cop thing as much as just a personality thing. BTW- My neighbor is a General Contractor. The PO of our house told us when we bought. He has kids the same age as mine but they are NEVER outside. At least when we are there. Weird family.

[StevoRocket]

Your cop is just plain rude.
Anyone new to a neighbourhood as small as yours should at least be civil when approached - no matter what kind of day he's had.
Watch yourself, hes probably the type who shops his neighbours during a hosepipe ban.

[Don Ro]

Don't impose/intrude...expand your universe to include the possibility that what you want from him/them may not be reciprocal.
Send them a card welcoming them, just one line...add your phone # stating that they're free to phone you if any noise from your area bothers them.
Then mind your own business/stay outa his face/give the guy his privacy.
I exchanged phone #'s w/all my neighbors for security/neighborhood watch purposes...but I don't interact w/them.
I like it that way.

Edit: I wave 'n chat some, but don't attend block/yard parties, etc.

[on-ramp]

in this highly litigious society, it seems everybody lives in fear.... ha ha.

i think you did the right thing by walking over and introducing yourself. I wish our neighbors did that when we moved in. Although we did receive 1 welcome card in the mailbox. "Welcome to our neighborhood" it said.

[Moses]

I live on a dead-end street that feeds into another dead-end street. Small neighborhood. Everybody knows everybody. Most of the neighbors are real friendly, they stop to chat if they are out watching the kids or walking the dog. Two of the men are just plain rude, grumpy a-holes. No greeting is offered, no wave returned. I absolutely kill these pricks with kindness. I wave, smile, shout hello as I drive by. It makes them want to crawl into a hole.

My son has figured out the game. While taking my son and his friend to baseball practice, my son told his friend, "Watch my dad make Mr. Newlin wave!". The other kid replied, "Newlin? NO WAY!" As we passed Mr. Newlin, I rolled my window down, slowed to a crawl and yelled, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin'?" I got my wave... I'm sure the bastard thinks I'm nuts.

[Schrup]

I have a state trooper that moved in 2 doors down last year, he's very friendly & Christian. He had a beef with his next door neighbor on the other side & erected a six foot solid wood fence around his house for privacy. I look at cops as regular people unless the abuse their authority.

Half my neighbors are friendly & approachable, the other half either are never home or don't speak English. It's nice to have friendly neighbors so we can keep an eye on each others property, but we don't barbecue together or anything, which is fine by me.

[Don Ro]

Originally posted by Moses
I'm sure the bastard thinks I'm nuts.

Hooting.
Sterling.

[speeder]

I am somewhat of a privacy buff when it comes to neighbors, but still I would never treat someone that rudely who was just trying to be friendly. And I don't think that it has anything to do w/ being a cop, in fact most cops are pretty nice people under friendly circumstances. Especially the younger crop, they do a LOT of personality testing for that job and they really have to get along well w/ coworkers.

Just curious, how did you already know what he does for a living? And I'm also curious as to your statement that you have a right to know the people living near you; you have no such right. He is a bit of a jerk if he is totally unfriendly towards you, but that is definitely his right. I believe that I have a right to let neighbors and strangers know as much or little about me as I darn well please. I am friendly when I am walking my dog or in the elevator, but if I sense someone being nosey or asking me questions that are not their business, I will stonewall them completely. "Hello" is all they'll ever get.

I learned the trick to getting along w/ coworkers or neighbors a long time ago, say hello and be nice but totally stay out of their business. This also puts people at ease that you are not an idiot, and sometimes causes them to trust you later.

FWIW, none of this necessarily applies to your actions, CD55, it just gave me a chance to vent about a subject that holds great interest for me which is privacy. I believe that it's a right that is being eroded in the modern age, and it has value on its own. It is irrelevant whether someone has "something to hide".

Lastly, who knows what the guy might have been going through at that moment? He might have been in the middle of a huge fight w/ his wife or had a horrible day at work. Or he might just be an extremely anti-social person. Either way I would not waste another minute worrying about it, it has exactly nothing to do w/ your life.