Messing with HR

[Matt Meyer]

After work we were sitting around laughing (pulling hair out) about our dealings with one HR Representative at a company I was, but am not currently working for.

I joked that I thought the department should be "Resources comma Human" as the Human aspect was secondary. I got the strangest look by someone in upper-management.

Later when he couldn't be overheard by the group at large he confided that the Manager of the department had at one time tried to get the department title changed to just "Resources".

[Moneyguy1]

As a consultants to government, we used to turn some HR personnel into lunchmeat. But only those who truly deserved it. There is no group in any organization with so little real power and so much implied/imagined power. They build a mystique around themselves that too many people actually believe!!

[Porsche-O-Phile]

The first objective in ANY interview for ANY job is to get past the first round with the H.R. bozos and talk to someone that's in a capacity to actually make an informed decision as to whether or not you're qualified for the position. In my experience, aside from knowing a few laws about harassment and some stuff about benefit packages (that can usually be read off a company intranet), these people largely just justify their own existences by being obstructionist and convincing others that they do something of great importance, which they really don't.

[nostatic]

ok, to be fair my ex said that there wasn't any surgery involved, but rather that it was a combination of humorless people being drawn to the field, and law school beating what was left of a sense of humor out of you.

That being said, she's pretty funny. There are exceptions, but most of them?

[Rick Lee]

I've been very lucky with HR folks. Since I've been in sales for a while, HR has never ever been able to overrule my manager and I doubt they have tried. If you produce, meet your numbers and your boss likes you, HR tends to stay away. I've had far more problems with operations and billing folks, since they are salaried and not motivated like commissioned folks.

[sammyg2]

About 5 years ago one of the HR nazis gave us all a 2 hour lecture about how to behave at work. Don't do this, don't do that.

A few months later she was asked to resign, seems she was having inappropriate relations with a co-worker in her office and she forgot to lock the door.
That's funny.

[Rick Lee]

Oh, whenever I start a new job and have to watch those ridiculous short movies about sexual or racial or whatever discrimination and then have to fill out a survey about them, I make it a point to say how insulting to one's intelligence those shorts are. They always say the rule of thumb isL if you wouldn't say or do it in front of your significant other or kids, you shouldn't do it at work. Anyone know where the term "rule of thumb" comes from? And there's not much I say or do with my friends that I can't say or do with my fiance around, but would get me canned instantly at the office.

[Noah930]

Anyone know where the term "rule of thumb" comes from?

Size of the stick (diameter of your thumb = diameter of the stick) that you could legally beat your wife with, IIRC.

I think there's been ONE HR person who's actually been knowledgeable, accessible, friendly, etc. that I've ever run across. Otherwise, they are some of the laziest, slowest, least responsible employed people with whom I have had to deal. Rank right there with government bureaucrats.

[jeffgrant]

I recently had a run-in with an HR idiot.

I do contract IT stuff (systems architecture), and was the only contractor on a team of about 50.

HR got their panties in a twist over some stupid thing that they now thought all employees needed to do. I wasn't required to, as I was a contractor.

Needless to say, the HR "policy champion" got all pissy about it and said she didn't care if I was a contractor or not, I had to do it.

I said "no". She said "yes". I laughed. So, she went to accounting and put a freeze on my invoices until I'd done what she wanted.

When I found out, I went to the project manager, told him I was leaving to go work on another contract (gotta love being in demand!), and expect to be paid ASAP, thanks for everything, and then packed up and left.

He was stunned. 2 hours after I'd left he called me saying that my invoices were processed, the cheques were ready, and they'd "sorted things out" with the HR *****... please come back.

Being a bit of a confrontational egomaniac myself (only when warranted), with no fear of losing the contract, I said I wasn't coming back until she came over to my office in person and apologized for being a *****.

An hour later, she showed up, with the PM.

Never really had a run-in with her again.

[Joeaksa]

Jeff,

Excellent and hope the story floats through HR offices worldwide. I have had enough of putting up with prissy beyotch's like this.

[island_dude]

Many years ago I was invited to interview for a job at an MIT lab by a friend of mine. They set up the interview with the HR dept (then called personnel). I was pretty nervous being young and intimidated. They did absolutely everything in that office to make me feel small and unworthy before my interviews.

The interviews went great ( I got grilled of course). When I came back to the manager's office he said that they would hire me, but don't tell HR yet. Meanwhile they said to come back the next day to play with their toys and hang out with the team -- Don't tell HR though.
I went back to the HR office and some pathetic flunky was describing how lucky I would be if by some miracle they would make an offer. I mean really laid it on thick. I was laughing to my self because I knew I was already in.

The postscript to this is that when I left I had to deal with the same idiots. They had been keeping the lid on my pay for years. The guy asks "by the way how much of an increase did you get?" When I told them I doubled my salary the idiot thought I was lying. I offered to fax a copy of the offer letter to him as proof, and he said it wasn't necessary. I forced him to listen to me read it to him anyway. Pathetic creeps.

[Jay Auskin]

There is payback. A few co-workers were either retiring, or riding out their last few weeks before leaving the company. Be a PITA scheduling the "exit interview". Drives HR nuts.

One guy says, "Well sorry, but it's not like you can fire me."

[equality72521]

I once sat through all of the HR formalities at a company where I had smart ass friends there. They told me to mess the the HR guy. I sat listening to everything he said, asking the proper questions. After he finished, I looked him straight in the eye and said "I'm thinking about having a sex change, will insurance cover that"? He just looked at me, dropped his head, and said "they've already gotten to you".

[sammyg2]

So Mark, did the insurance cover it or did you have to pay for it yourself?
Sorry, too easy to pass up.

[equality72521]

Yeah, I guess I deserve that.

[id10t]

Based on his avatar he's still saving...

There's one HR woman at work who is a total hottie... of course, working at a college that is somewhat relative, at least during the Fall rush

[BlueSkyJaunte]

I think my co. axed about 1/2 the HR department in our last round. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Pure overhead cost, IMHO.