Poor parenting methods; do you say anything?

[rammstein]

I remember after really getting out of line with my older brother, our father would ask us to come over. Closer. Closer...

Then he would whack our heads together three-stooges style. The humor of this was worth it sometimes... I was a sick kid


Also- I saw that Doctor Spock book in my parents house when I was little. SO- that book says things about giving your kids what they want and not disciplining them? My parents must have sucked at reading comprehension.

[legion]

Some kids need to be spanked. Some never need to be spanked.

Kids that need to be spanked and get spanked turn out okay. (I put myself in this camp as a kid.)
Kids that don't need to be spanked and don't get spanked turn out okay.

Kids that need to be spanked and don't get spanked turn out as spoiled brats.
Kids that don't need to be spanked and get spanked can turn out angry, violent, etc.

The kid and the discipline need to be matched. Sometimes the temperment of the kid and the needed discipline are obvious, sometimes they are not. Sometimes they are obvious to everyone but the parent.

[Rikao4]

Naw, your parents knew that Spock either had no kids, or that he was a fool.
Rika

[rammstein]

My wife never got punished her whole life, but then again, she never does anything wrong. I got punished all the time, but then again, I constantly pushed the envelope.

There's some wisdom in your post.

[alf]

You do not need to hit kids to teach right from wrong.

As a child, pain was easy to deal with, my nanny, school teacher and vice principal did not spare the rod on me, I learnt to sucked it up and did not give them the pleasure of my tears. I do not think they liked that too much.

My parents on the other hand did not hit me, well except once my dad smacked me over the head when i scalded my sister...point is I got more 'reform' from the I am dissappointed and this is what we expect talk.

Oh and getting diciplined from Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, neighbors happened all the time. Nothing major they just made sure they knew I was stepping out of line and need to modify behavior asap. My parents were fine with it and usually thanked them for looking after me.

[legion]

I once got grounded for 7 months.

I can't remember what I did, but I got grounded for two weeks. I talked back. Two more weeks. For some reason, I decided to really push the issue. I was convinced that I could break my father. (How, I don't know. He held all of the cards.) I kept pushing until I was up to 7 months--earned in two-week increments. This happened around Spring Break. It got me through the end of 7th grade, the whole following summer, and the beginning of 8th grade.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by rammstein

I got punished all the time, but then again, I constantly pushed the envelope.

Me, too. I simply decided that spanking is the last refuge of weakness on a parents part and I wasn't going to do it. My kids push the edge as well.

Again, this is why I will never criticize the way other parent raise their kids. What many think is gospel I think is heresy...the reverse is also true...

[legion]

As a kid, my dad used to always ask me if I wanted to be grounded or spanked. He stopped spanking me when I started choosing spanking over grounding so that I could go back out with my friends.

[legion]

Originally Posted by legion

Some kids need to be spanked. Some never need to be spanked.

Kids that need to be spanked and get spanked turn out okay. (I put myself in this camp as a kid.)
Kids that don't need to be spanked and don't get spanked turn out okay.

Kids that need to be spanked and don't get spanked turn out as spoiled brats.
Kids that don't need to be spanked and get spanked can turn out angry, violent, etc.

The kid and the discipline need to be matched. Sometimes the temperment of the kid and the needed discipline are obvious, sometimes they are not. Sometimes they are obvious to everyone but the parent.

Just to continue this thought...

Up until the 60s/70s, American society used to err on the side of spanking kids that didn't need it. Better than having spoiled brats, I'm sure they figured. Now there are some people who refuse to spank their kids, their big fear is the angry, violent, abused kid, I think.

[rammstein]

By the way- when my dad hit our heads together, it wasn't really hard. Just enough to let us know we were being jackasses.


The worst pain we ever felt by FAR was from our own battles. The father probably kept us from really hurting each other.

I remember the time my father told my brother to cut up his sausage to eat it, not to just pick it up whole with the fork and eat bites off of it. My brother told him no. My father said "We don't eat like farmers at our dinner table". My brother responded that maybe he would like to be a farmer. My father told him farmers go to bed by sundown, and thus took my brother's plate and sent him to bed, and woke him up the next day at like 6 am to go pull weeds from the garden. My brother didn't want to be a farmer anymore. Unfortunately, he still eats like a farmer as an adult, so I don't know if this discipline worked. It sure was fun to watch though.

[Icemaster]

Whacking kids on the butt is perfect if all it's intended as a last resort to get their attention and show you're serious about something. Using it as a punishment is pointless, and just plain wrong IMHO. Didn't work for me...

[vash]

no way! say nothing!

bad parenting has a bright side. without bad parents, we wouldnt have any strippers. and that aint good.

[alf]

Originally Posted by vash

no way! say nothing!

bad parenting has a bright side. without bad parents, we wouldnt have any strippers. and that aint good.

Well, i will have to conceed that point. Hope you have a cute daughter.

[jyl]

I'd spank my kids if they needed it. To date, they never have, at least, not that I can recall.

As for the original question, that's a can of worms you don't want to deal with. The chances of success are very low, and by the time you're done trying, you have a bellyful of worms. Life is too short.