An Exercise In Pathetic Futility

[livi]

Life.

How do you harvest the ripe fruits of life. What is the trick to finding that groovy position mentally where words like content, harmony, happiness and satisfaction springs to mind spontaneously.

What am I looking for here. Where am I going with this life.

I feel I have lost track of a sensible outlook on life. Lost enthusiasm, goal, and direction.

I have no rational reason for complaining, I am just empty.

I think I need a new drug, that is not a drug or a religion that is no religion.

Or maybe I have just passed forty.

[legion]

Don't you know? Your outlook on life is largely due to your genetics.

Sorry bud, you're screwed.

[frogger]

Go for a drive in your Carrera, Markus. Go for a drive.

[sammyg2]

Look at it this way:
life sucks sometimes, but it beats the heck out of the other choice.

just wait. Something bad will happen, some crisis, and you will re-gain your zest.
I'm not wishing anything bad on you but sometimes that's what it takes. whatever doesn't kill us ..........

Maybe you can try to imagine what it would be like if everything went to crap. Spend a day or two completely by yourself away from friends and family, then imagine if you lost them all forever.
if that doesn't help make you appreciate what you have I don't know.

[Moses]

You need more hobbies, more passion.

When I spend too much time hanging around the house doing the husband/father thing I start to feel too domesticated. Like a neutered house cat. Then I take my car to the track, or plan a trip. Something physical. Backpacking, fly fishing, scuba diving, racing.

Reconnect with your primitive, passionate self.

[lendaddy]

I understand what your saying. I was thinking about this the other day in that I just don't get excited about anything anymore. I can remember the feeling of anticipation that grew with going to a race or on a date or even planning working on the Porsche later that night. I can remember polishing my clubs and organizing my bag prior to a golf outing AND actually enjoying it. It was a feeling similar to butterflies but different, just genuine excitement. Moses hit it with the word passion.



I haven't felt that in years and I'm not sure I will again but I'd gladly be proven wrong.

[Moneyguy1]

Everythig mentioned is a distraction. Be alone. Meet yourself. Be content with who you are and all will fall into place. Sometimes this process is referred to as a "Walkabout". I have been on one for 7 months now, and I am getting a lot better at being in a state of internal peace.

[VaSteve]

Well hell, Len. Given the other threads you have posted here, I think we all can understand your plight.

Interesting to hear from Marcus who seems to have the world on a string.

[legion]

Listen to the wisdom of Dr. E.L. Kersten:

http://www.despair.com/mis24x30prin.html

[Neilk]

Hey Markus, get on a tanning bed or something... lol... seriously. It's the middle of winter in Sweden. When is the last time you saw the sun? Is Seasonal affective disorder a possibility?

[lendaddy]

Originally Posted by legion

Listen to the wisdom of Dr. E.L. Kersten:

http://www.despair.com/mis24x30prin.html

could be.

[The Gaijin]

The days are getting longer. Things are getting better..

[Rikao4]

Rx for you
go slap slap some cratch, look at your great kids, cured..?
Rika

[lendaddy]

Originally Posted by Rikao4

Rx for you
go slap slap some cratch, look at your great kids, cured..?
Rika

This does work

But in all seriousness (and I speak only for myself) it's not really depression, it's more like numbness. I'm not unhappy, I don't have a poor me attitude or anything like that. I'm just...blah.

Markus may be different but his post rung true with me and didn't really smell of classic depression.

[the]

I know the feeling.

Here's my theory: We've lived our lives up to now being very "future" and "goal" oriented. That's been the driving force for us. We achieved in high school, because the goal was to get into the best possible college (a very tangible goal, and tangible achievement). We worked hard in college to get into the best possible graduate school (likewise, very tangible).

By our 40s, we are 10-15 years into our careers/jobs/businesses. The scenery doesn't change so dramatically anymore. A lot of what we used to consider the "wide open future" has either passed, or is here now. Even when it has worked out very well, such as a long term happy marriage, great kids, etc., it is still here now - not merely a concept for the future.

I think that can be a little unsettling for people who have always strived and worked for the future. You can reach the peak you have been climbing hard for all of your life, but when you get there, you don't feel quite like you thought you would.

I think a lot of it is we miss the climb. We miss having lofty, life changing, tangible goals in front of us.

The solution would seem to be to get some new lofty life-changing goals. But that's easier said than done. When you've invested your entire life in your business/profession, it's not easy or sensible to make major course changes. Plus, you probably enjoy what you are doing. And, financially, taking some big risk or making some big changes isn't necessary, so there is no trigger for change. And, frankly, we've worked hard for our entire lives, and are a little tired. Cruising along is just fine. At this point in our lives, there is no risk.

"Passion" is fine, but not very specific. I think for many of us, reaching for major goals has been our life passion. By our mid 40s, if we've worked hard and have been successful, many (most?) of those major goals have been met. So then what? Backpacking or driving your car - that's a bit thin.

For me? I have spent that last few years working much less than in the past, and spending a huge amount of time with my kids. That has been awesome, but of course is only temporary. Kids grow up, and then the bulk of your work with them is done. I intend to launch a new business, completely unrelated to what I have done in the past, but in an area that has been my lifelong passion, within the next year or two. My goal is to create something out of nothing, and build it into a big business. There is risk, there are unknown, and there are goals. Here in the early planning stages, I can already feel some of that old nervous spark and passion.

[azasadny]

livi,
Spend more time with your kids, that always works for me!

[livi]

You guys never stop amazing me. The perfect combination of honesty, depth and humor. I feel better already. Thanks for all your good thoughts. I believe many of them are the key. It is just a matter of embracing it.

I think maybe I am questioning whether the natural state of mind is neutral or optimistic. Is 'having a good time' in life a lottery win that should not be expected.

I think life for many homo sapience members have turned out too complicated, too stressed out, too high expectations, too many things to do, to have, too many people to satisfy. Generally expecting too much of life in too many aspects. All the more difficult to enjoy the little things in life. Never really satisfied. Need to go basic, basic, basic..

Burned out? Washed away?

What is worrying me more than anything is that I feel a lot better after a couple a drinks. Bad sign. Bad indeed.

God I am ranting tonight. Please, keep your good thoughts coming. It really helps.

[frogger]

I'm an optimist, even though life sometimes leaves me flat.

[Moneyguy1]

1. Too many distractions today, Markus

2. The inability to appreciate a beautiful sunset, digging you toes into warm sand and other such simple pleasures

3. Booze bad if used for mood alteration. Over time, the quantity required continues to get bigger and bigger. Same with pills and other chemical agents

4. Appreciate what you have and do not envy the perceived success of others. Life is not always better behind that attractive picket fence

5. Expect periodic downtimes. They are natural and to be expected. The secret is how you deal with them; to succomb, or to accept and move on

6. Do what you love and love what you do


There are a lot more, but that's all I can think of right now. I have been there; the feeling of "near depression", lethargy or whatever you want to call it. I still have it on occasion, but it no longer manages me: I manage it.

[Rikao4]

nothing wrong with a few drinks,
remember.. no drivee the P, and don't wake up with a tattoo on your behind.
Rika