Room monkeys anyone?

[imcarthur]

And after too much rum & coke . . .



Ian

[M.D. Holloway]

Wait till they pop out some young'ns...

[Langers]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

Anybody else infested with room monkeys?

(Definition: Room monkey - An adult child that won’t leave home)

We have my wife’s 23 year old son. He finished a local college program. Got a Low level banking job with commiserate pay through the co-op program. A year ago he married his Chinese girlfriend. She arrived last August. They live in his bedroom, only bursting out to feed & go to work.

We hear them thumping around occasionally & mumbled discussions. Thankfully, we’ve never heard THAT. They have a TV, 2 computers, a phone, 2 cell phones, 2 video game consoles. Her clothing also took over & obliterated our spare bedroom. It is now her walk-in closet. She surfaces to cook frequently, but none of us really likes her cooking – including him. But her cooking paraphernalia has consumed all available space in cupboards & fridge. 2 evil vinegars, 3 soy sauces, unidentifiable growths in jars & containers, 30 varieties of tea ingredients & the list goes on. He only cooks with the nuker. Mostly our leftovers or any of the scores of Chinese takeout options in our refrigerator in different stages of going bad. She saves everything & throws nothing out.

She has had difficulty getting suitable work – Master’s from Cdn University & her English is very good but . . . . And that is their excuse for staying. That & the high cost of the perfect condo in the perfect location that they feel that they deserve. He’s financially responsible & they seem to be saving some cash but they also binge in spurts. She is a bit of a princess & she occasionally dresses unsuitably (according to my wife). No. I’m not posting pics. They’re young & stupid, so it’s hard to blame them BUT THEY’RE LIVING IN MY F*CKING HOUSE! I tell them to leave. They laugh but know I’m only half joking. They claim they want to leave as badly as we want them to. We have had some clashes. But my wife won’t let me throw their crap on the front lawn . . . yet. They are driving us crazy.

Room monkeys. Anybody want them? I'll pay . . .

Ian

As a 23 y.o. myself who recently moved out of home, I can say that the only way you can reasonably get rid of them is to set a deadline 6 months from now and let them know THATS IT. They have 6 months to get 2 jobs or whatever they have to do to get the money together, then they're out.

End of story. Best of luck!

[rammstein]

My parents made it so unpleasant that I was ready to move out at 16. I had a job then and was working out getting an apartment just to get the hell out. You are probably being too accomodating.

Heck, I visit my parents now, 11 years after moving out, and I still can only make it a day or 2 before I want to leave.

Worthy of note: when I went to college, I came back for thanksgiving. My bedroom was already gone.

[Langers]

Originally Posted by cstreit

You'll have to force them out IMO. I don;t know a single person who would have chosen to go back and live with their parents unless a cardboard box in an alley was the only alternative. Honestly you're hurting them because they are not really learning the very important lessons that life has to teach when you start off on your own. I'd have chosen to live in a 1 room *****box than to move back in with the parents. They're supposed to drive you crazy, it's natures way of getting them out of the nest.

She can't find a job? Baloney! She can't find the job that she "deserves" I suspect is closer to the truth. McDonalds is always looking for Asst. Mgr's and the Dry Cleaners is hiring. Get a job, get your own apt. Save your money.

It's costing me about $4.5k per month to live out of home, just for the basics (no socialising, no cable TV, no holidays etc) If I had the choice I'd probably move back in and lease a Ferrari

[masraum]

Wow! I remember reading this saga back in May when you first posted. Congratulations. It sounds like a huge party is in the books for sometime the first or second week of Nov. A few days to get the last of their crap out, a few days to enjoy the serenity, and then about 3 days of party with all of your other adult friends. Hahah.

Good luck, I hope nothing gets in the way of this happening.

I have 2 room monkeys. One is a 23yo daughter that's gotten good grades and just graduated college in June. She's moving soon, wanted to move this week, but hurricane Ike had something to say about it. It's a shame she's moving in with a guy that isn't bad, but isn't great either. At least she doesn't have any plans of marriage or babies. The second is a 25yo boy, and is a mess. He's been out a couple of times, but is back. We are working hard to get him stabilized, but I think we could have him for a year or two. Hopefully not.

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

Big news! The Room Monkeys are leaving! They just announced that they have rented a condo downtown & move Nov 1.

It is about time.

Wha... happened? Where are the ensuing details? If I remember correctly, I think you had said you were planning to begin collecting rent in August. Did you?

What about the parental nudity?

Seriously, fill us in.

I'm relatively new here... just reading this tonight, but I would definitely tell you do not give these peeps a hunk of cash for a down payment. You did your job as parents, and they don't really need the help.

They may have more money socked away than you know. Her old man may have laid some on them, too.

[Langers]

Originally Posted by Dueller

I'm fortunate with my wife/stepkids. She was raised in a family of 9 kids where it was clearly communicated from a young age that once you graduate from HS it was time to move out and begin your own life. She graduated at 17 and had her own apartment the following day. She is carrying on her family tradition with her kids.

How is that even possible? I don't know of ANY college job that could possibly pay rent in my city, without having to share or live 2 hrs from work.

[imcarthur]

Originally Posted by Heel n Toe

Wha... happened? Where are the ensuing details? If I remember correctly, I think you had said you were planning to begin collecting rent in August. Did you?

What about the parental nudity?

Since May we have had several family-style meltdowns. The funniest was when he arrived at the dinner table in July wearing boxers & a T. I commented that this was not suitable 'wear' for a family dinner. He stomped off & Shennie sat there sputtering. The next night he tried again but I stood up & started taking off my pants & my wife followed my lead. He bolted from the room & they haven't eaten with us since. So it came close to nudity. So now, we make dinner & eat. Then they come down an hour later & eat our leftovers or she cooks for herself & he eats simple fried food. Very, very amusing.

The rent idea didn't get by my wife. She was afraid of the scene & ramifications. She & Shennie had a big blowup 2 weeks ago but Shennie did the right thing & apologized later. I was out of town during that one.

So, last night he asked us to come up to the monkey den. We knew it was big news but we didn't know whether it was moving or a pregnancy alert. He had the disco song 'Celebrate' playing on his computer & made the joyful announcement.

I can't stop smiling.

Ian

[KFC911]

I like your style Ian! Glad it's working out for you...anyone caught playing disco in my house would have been booted for sure

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

So, last night he asked us to come up to the monkey den. We knew it was big news but we didn't know whether it was moving or a pregnancy alert. He had the disco song 'Celebrate' playing on his computer & made the joyful announcement.

So, which was it?

[imcarthur]

Originally Posted by red-beard

So, which was it?

Moving Nov 1. They found a condo rental in downtown Toronto on the periphery of our original Chinatown (we now have 4 more in the burbs). $1200 + per month for 500-600 sq ft one bedroom on the 49th floor of a new building. My wife already started to worry about fire escape etc. I don't know how they will fit all of their crap in it so I guess our crawl space will be filled for the decades.

A room monkey baby addition would have driven us completely over the edge.

Ian

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

A room monkey baby addition would have driven us completely over the edge.

Ian

So that's where "yard apes" (a phrase I've often used referring to kids) come from...room monkeys (something I'd never heard before Ian's post)

[Rot 911]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

Big news! The Room Monkeys are leaving! They just announced that they have rented a condo downtown & move Nov 1.Ian

Nov. 1 of what year?

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

The next night he tried again but I stood up & started taking off my pants & my wife followed my lead. He bolted from the room & they haven't eaten with us since. So it came close to nudity.

L O L ! ! ! Dude, that's awesome... was your "pants off" spontaneous, or had you and the wifey talked about doing something like that?

Originally Posted by imcarthur

I don't know how they will fit all of their crap in it so I guess our crawl space will be filled for the decades.

No, you don't want that... tell 'em right now that anything they can't move into their place has to go in a storage unit. You don't want them shoving a bunch of stuff under the house with no regard to whether plumbers, or other service workers can get under there.

BTW, tell the wife not to worry about the fire thing... if it's a new building, it's gotta have a sprinkler system, right?

Glad it's working out. Now you two can get back to having crazy monkey sex, huh?

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by Langers

How is that even possible? I don't know of ANY college job that could possibly pay rent in my city, without having to share or live 2 hrs from work.

And the problem with having a roommate is what? In fairness 19 y.o. son is at college having lived in the dorm and is now in his second year living in frat house (which is suprisingly reasonable). Wife and his father pay his tuition, books, and his basic dorm/room. He works for spending money, gas, insurance, etc.

He is getting an apt next year with 3 other guys but will have to work to pay for it. He seems pretty satisfied with himself that he is making major part of living expenses himself...proud to be a bit self reliant.

Girls are seniors in HS and are busting their butts to work/save/apply for scholarships/etc so they, too, can be independent when they go off to college.

Mom and dad help them with college expenses but make it clear they have to make a significant contribution to their lifestyle. They are fully aware that its a weaning process that will ultimately result in independence by the time they graduate.

[gprsh924]

The minute I graduate (20 months) I am moving the hell out. I love my parents and enjoy spending time with them, but I cannot fathom living with them for any longer than necessary. Myself and 3 buddies almost rented an apartment together for the summer in our hometown but backed out at the last minute when our parents started saying things like "if you can afford an apartment, you can afford to pay the rest of your college". They want me me under their supervision somewhat for now, but once I can truly sustain myself I am gone. I have plenty of savings right now and could pay for my own school if necessary, but i would rather not go into debt.

[Hendog]

You should consult this guy



edit: Oops, only read the first page before posting; my bad. Things have worked out obviously. Glad to hear that.

[Jeff Higgins]

Originally Posted by targa911S

Chlorine tablets in hole add water cover hole with rock. Good bye.

Or you can piss in the hole. Mark your territory, they HATE that. I do it with chipmunks around my foundation. They move out quick.

Great advice from the varmint infestation thread.

[Heel n Toe]

L O L ! ! !