My fiance is cheating on me and addicted to meth

[nostatic]

as for language, I'd say Mandarin. Not only incredibly useful now and going forward, but about 500+B women speak it.

[Hebrewhomeboy]

yeah, but I'm kinda lazy, and I know I wouldn't study enough to pass Mandarin. Plus nothing against asian cultures or anything, but they just don't appeal to me. Plus my ex wife is a chinese linguist, so I don't want to run the risk of running into her again. I would really like a European language, but we'll see what I can get.

[Hebrewhomeboy]

Plus, chinese would give me a big chance of getting stationed in Hawaii again, and I need to be far from Melissa if I am going to forget her and get over her.

[Neilk]

Originally Posted by nostatic

as for language, I'd say Mandarin. Not only incredibly useful now and going forward, but about 500+B women speak it.

Yeah, but aren't there 700 million men for those 500 million women?

[jhynesrockmtn]

My problem is I get blinded by love, and sometimes refuse to see the truth. Even now with me being done with her, I still have that nagging "what if?" thought in the back of my head. It will eventually go away. I seem to believe that women's problems will go away if I love them enough. I don't like putting blame and fault on people I love. Even though Melissa screwed me over, some of my first thoughts (after the initial what the eff?) were "what if I had gotten her to go back to NA, what if I had kept her busier so she wouldn't have as much down time to think about this, what if I had this or that..." I do realize now that I can't fix anyone's problems except my own. Being able to admit that is the first step. The second step is being able to apply it. I think I've been hurt badly enough now that I have learned my lesson.

Also, it appears that I don't like being alone. I want to be loved. I want to be needed. I want someone to love me and even depend on me a little, I guess subconsciously it makes me feel better about myself. I tend to ride myself hard sometimes because I can be lazy if I'm not too careful. I have a **** memory, and I talk too much, which sometimes annoys people. So sometimes my self esteem suffers because of all that. Feeling wanted and needed fixes all of that. That was my main complaint with my old ex wife, I didn't feel wanted or needed at all in that relationship. I felt like a roommate. Melissa fixed this, as she made me feel loved, wanted, she made me feel like I was special to someone. Every day, I knew that someone loved me. Unfortunately she also made me realize how hard it is to lose a person like that, especially when you lose them in such a hard manner as this.

Sounds like you are doing a good job dealing with this so far and thinking about how you responded to her and what "issues" you might have. Nice job. Now go explore that with the therapist at work. You'll be amazed what progress you can make if you get the right person and put some work into it. Start writing, this thread has been a good start. You're a smart dude, seem pretty self aware, you'll be fine if you stick to your plan and don't have any contact with her. Build a guitar for Nostatic! Exercise too, that was huge for me when I got divorced, it's a great stress reliever, healthy for you and the chicks fit guys!!!

[mattdavis11]

If you are going to be based out of California in the future, Spanish is the language in which you will need to become proficient. Who knows, you might even become the great compromiser when we give California back to Mexico.

[silverc4s]

Whew!! Just read this entire thread in one sitting...HHB, I think you are going to make it, just don't spend a lot of time by yourself brooding, etc. Hang with the buddys, now's the time for that.

F. Scott Fitzgerald had three rules for living the good life. I recommend them to you.
1. Never eat at a place called Mom's
2. Never play cards with a guy named Doc
3. Never go to bed with a woman that has more problems than you do

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by silverc4s

3. Never go to bed with a woman that has more problems than you do

damn, I have a huge pool to work with

[svandamme]

sure Tod, but you can't, coz you sit here moderatin' us lot all the time...

[Hebrewhomeboy]

last night was pretty decent. Things are getting better. Writing about it here and on my myspace blog has really helped me deal with this. Actually talking about it out loud still isn't too easy, but I'm still doing a lot better than I was yesterday. Yesterday was a bad day. I was exhausted yesterday also, which made things worse. I havent been able to work out much, as I've been so exhausted lately because I'm working nights AND sleeping very poorly. last night I used my 2 hour PT break to take a nap in my car. It helped. Monday I'm off work, I figure I'll head up to the gym and get a good and proper workout in the evening. Monday morning I'm going to see the psychiatrist.

[Hebrewhomeboy]

Originally Posted by mattdavis11

If you are going to be based out of California in the future, Spanish is the language in which you will need to become proficient. Who knows, you might even become the great compromiser when we give California back to Mexico.

Plus then maybe I could land some hot brazilian chick.

And I'll only be in California to learn the language, that's where the military's language school is.

[mattdavis11]

Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy

Plus then maybe I could land some hot brazilian chick.

That depends on what dialect you learn, and the realization that you control the potential market.

[rnln]

Hey Armon,
I have been learning how to weld with Mig. There are more equipment yuo have to get then I knew and there are more things you need to know before you bought the welder. Believe me it's fun and can take all of your spare time.

[djmcmath]

Don't know if it's been mentioned yet, but my wife read through this and said, "Step #1, go get tested." That's a personal lesson based on hard life lessons. She also notes that, if you believe in Karma, you'll probably end up marrying a large-breasted nymphomaniac who is a good cook.

Devastating story, though. I should note that it's awfully easy to cheat on us military types, with the schedule we tend to keep. I know that I was cheated on twice while I was in the Navy, though neither time was anywhere near as serious as your story. The only reason I found out either time was because they told me, so it's entirely possible there were others I knew nothing about. I've heard some pretty rough stories from other military types, but this one's a real winner. I'm sorry.

The good news is that it sounds like you're on the road to recovery. You're talking about it, and you have friends who support you. You'll probably end up working out more, which will only help your odds with other women. That and the fact that you now have both time and money available for your Porsche can't possibly be bad things. Keep focused on the good side of this one and you'll come out ok.

Dan

[targa911S]

Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy

Plus then maybe I could land some hot brazilian chick.

See thread titled " Sao Paulo".

[old man neri]

Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy

Plus then maybe I could land some hot brazilian chick.

Don't they speak Portuguese?

[Jim Richards]

details, details.

[Rot 911]

Armon, let me give you another reason to not have any further contact with her. Your job. I got on AKO and saw what unit you are in, not to mention your phone number. Did you re-enlist for a language school? If so eventually you will be wanting/required to get a Top Secret SBI security clearance. Just from what you have written there is enough there to deny it. Then good bye to your new MOS and hello to working in the motor pool.

You have been given advice on seeing a counsellor. Normally I would agree with this. But if you put that down on your SF 86 you will again have trouble getting a TS clearance.

You already have sent up red flags asking for a piss test.

Just wanted to give you a heads up.

[Shadetree930]

Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy

Writing about it here and on my myspace blog has really helped me deal with this. Actually talking about it out loud still isn't too easy, but I'm still doing a lot

You have 'unfriended' Melissa from your MySpace page haven't you?

[cstreit]

Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy

She just called me, saying she should just jump off a balcony or something. You know, I almost feel bad for even thinking this, but I think I would rather see her take her life now than slowly degrade into a toothless druggie.

Dude, don't get sucked in to this. At the very most call the cops and tell them she threatened to kill herself, then change the cell number and never EVER talk to her again. Calling YOU with this ***** is unconscionable. (sp)

Edit: See you've already changed the number. Good work. Now I'd also suggest you not speak with her family anymore (grandma). Seriously the faster you move on the better for you I think. I like KTL's advice... Go do something you've always wanted to. Spoil yourself a little bit, do something engrossing and entertaining...