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-   -   My fiance is cheating on me and addicted to meth (http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/432278-my-fiance-cheating-me-addicted-meth.html)

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rick Lee (Post 4201044)
I hope she doesn't belong in that several stages of meth collage we see on billboards.

She doesn't, she's cute as a button... For now. Sadly, she'll probably end up like that.


And I am glad that it happened now and not after we got married. All of her stuff is out in boxes in the carport. She sent me a text message at 0430 this morning saying "You have no reason to think about filing some bull***** charge. You can come get your car." I sent a reply asking for an address to the car, and I figure I'll go there with police escort just in case she tries anything.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rikao4 (Post 4201211)
and in your next adventure , be a man
not a doormat , NOT always doing and saying ..
yes dear, whatever you want honey, can I, may I..

Rika

Well that's the thing, she never asked for anything. Anything that I did for her, I did because I loved her, not because she asked for it.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 11:56 AM

And thanks for all the nice replies and helpful stuff, guys. And hey, if nothing else this whole situation has served to elevate my post count a bit.

cstreit 09-25-2008 11:59 AM

Sounds to me like the meth thing may be recent. You've been with her for 6 years but...

1) You didn't pick up a drug addiction sign before. Meth heads are fairly east to spot.
2) The "boyfriend" is only a few weeks old

This situation really sucks for you... On the upside you found out before it was too late, the "boyfriend" was man enough to admit the truth (give his man card a gold star), and you'll be a little wiser next go around. It still stings I'm sure, but you know you really have dodged a bullet.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 12:02 PM

This was always my favorite picture of her. Taken at the beach a few months ago.



(image deleted)

She did have a great butt though!!

Rot 911 09-25-2008 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy (Post 4201244)
She sent me a text message at 0430 this morning saying "You have no reason to think about filing some bull***** charge. You can come get your car."

Don't be surprised if she turns this around and tries to make you the bad guy in all of this.

Heel n Toe 09-25-2008 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kurt V (Post 4201264)
Don't be surprised if she turns this around and tries to make you the bad guy in all of this.

Of course... he should expect it... that's classic addict modus operandi.

nostatic 09-25-2008 12:07 PM

Get her stuff out of the carport and into a storage locker. Text her asking for an address for where to mail the key and indicate that you've paid for 30 days of storage and then she'll have to deal with it.

Tweakers get real weird real quick. My g/f lives next to a dealer and some strange stuff goes on. I have to admit that I've considered open carry when I show up there from time to time just so they don't get any ideas.

Heel n Toe 09-25-2008 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy (Post 4201263)
This was always my favorite picture of her.


Whaddaya say you delete that photo, HHB?

Just part of clearing your head, ya know? Plus, she doesn't deserve to take up any space here.

While you're at it, any glossies you have around your house/apt. and images of her in your computer need to go, also.

You'll be glad you did.

It helps with the healing process to have as much distance as possible.

911boost 09-25-2008 12:16 PM

I agree with Todd on this one. I have dealt with some Meth addicts, and know one, and it gets ugly very very fast.

DO NOT GO GET YOUR CAR BY YOURSELF.

I would not be surprised if the new bf is a dealer / user.

As soon as your lease is up, I would move (unless you own the place), because I doubt she will go away quietly.

Hang in there.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 12:32 PM

The other boyfriend was actually a marine, and he had no idea about me. He was blindsided as well. Of course, who knows if there's another boyfriend somewhere, or if she's sucking you know what for drug money? And yeah, I'm deleting all pictures of her.

Seahawk 09-25-2008 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy (Post 4201327)
The other boyfriend was actually a marine, and he had no idea about me. He was blindsided as well. Of course, who knows if there's another boyfriend somewhere, or if she's sucking you know what for drug money? And yeah, I'm deleting all pictures of her.

Move forward, delete the picture and steel yourself for more ignorance from her.

You are in a fight, young man, one that you can lose...wrap your mind around that.

Be smart, think through your options and take care of yourself. It is no longer about the two of you, it is now about you.

You.

Please don't forget that.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 12:47 PM

Yeah, I keep telling myself that. We have a history together, so it's kinda hard for me to just let go and do nothing for her, but I know that's what I have to do, and that's what I'm doing.

mike monde 09-25-2008 01:03 PM

Dude, is this thread real? If half of what your are posting is true...MOVE ON!
If posting a picture of her on this site is an attempt to justify why your where with her I wouldn't care if she was smoking hot model. She crushed your trust by F##king another man AND is hooked on meth. God knows what she has done that your don't know about.
Get her and keep her out of your life and be thankful that your didn't find out about this after your tied the knot. Then you would be dealing with a cheating meth head whore/wife who may be entitled to get 50% of your assets.

Heres my 5 steps:
1) Throw all her sh&t out into the trash.
2) Change your locks and your phone numbers
3) Report your car stolen
4) Take a vacation
5) If she shows up at your door, slam it shut!

You sound like a good guy and I am sorry to hear this has happened to you, but remember this, if there is a silver lining in all of this...she is someone else's problem now.
One last thing...best of luck your pain must be unimaginable

nostatic 09-25-2008 01:05 PM

History is just that...history. You have a choice whether or not to keep reliving it.

Assuming you have a key to the car, tell her to leave it somewhere public (mall, etc) and go pick it up during daylight hours. Tell her to lock her key in the car when she leaves it (assuming that is possible).

Tweakers (or any kind of addict) do not change until they hit bottom and *they* initiate recovery. No one external can do anything until that happens. Tweakers are especially bad...

There is no "oh, she's different" or "oh, I'm different, I can fix her." That is all BS.

Unless of course you are a glutton for punishment. Which brings me back to the concept of seeing someone and sorting out your own issues that led you to this point. It takes two people to screw up a relationship, even if drugs are involved.

Heel n Toe 09-25-2008 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy (Post 4201327)
And yeah, I'm deleting all pictures of her.

Please also delete the one you posted here.

924slover 09-25-2008 01:12 PM

lisen dude your are in a real tough situation ive been in a few similar situations you need to protect yourself and all your stuff because when she runs out of money and she will she'll come after you and your stuff banking on the fact that she can play on your history together and make you fall for her again ......DONT DO IT....get everything of hers far away from you and move on....make sure you cut all ties between the two of you so if anything happends noone can get back to you.....

svandamme 09-25-2008 01:33 PM

Buy a lion, nobody messes with you when you got a lion. That's a fact.
A mean dog is no good, most will take a steak for bribe.. You'de need half a cow to keep a lion busy, and no doper will carry a cow around. Seriously, lions mean business.

nostatic 09-25-2008 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by svandamme (Post 4201440)
Buy a lion, nobody messes with you when you got a lion. That's a fact.
A mean dog is no good, most will take a steak for bribe.. You'de need half a cow to keep a lion busy, and no doper will carry a cow around. Seriously, lions mean business.

You need to get a female one though...the males just sit around and sleep most of the time.

jt1 09-25-2008 01:36 PM

Quote:

posted by legion

Act II will be the most painful.

She will find you again. She will tell you she has "changed" and "learned from her mistakes". She will tell you that she loves you and misses you. She will act normal and functional again. She will be setting you up for the exact same thing again.

She needs a "safety net" so she can go out whoring and doping up. She will say or do anything to make you that safety net. She needs your money, your apartment, your car. She doesn't need you, but she needs to make you think she does.

This will be the real test: what do you do when she returns?
Think about this. Think about it a lot.

She will be back in your life. Druggies use and abuse everyone who cares for them, and you must be mentally prepared to turn her away when she comes back. Avoid the temptation for a quick grudgie and put her on the highway,as quickly as possible.

The only time somebody gets off meth is when they close the casket lid.

John


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