I do appreciate your concern redbeard. Remember that I am getting everything done as I should, it's just perhaps taking me a bit to do it. It will be hard to do anything with the cell phones this weekend, as I work 12 hour shifts Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night. 9pm-9am. Anything I want to do is usually during my sleep hours. The good thing about that is that I'll be busy, I have lots of friends at work, my mind will be off everything. I ALWAYS bring my phone to work and leave it in my car, and whenever I go out on a break I check to see if I got any voicemails or anything. I'm not doing that tonight, I'm leaving my phone at home so I can't talk to her even if I wanted to. I'll give the rubber band idea a good hard though, that sounds like a good idea. I guess I'm still in the mentality of wanting to break it off 100%, but remembering her how she used to be, when she was a good person. That's probably a mentality that will weaken me. I very rarely drink, and when I do it's only 1 or 2, so I'll go out to pubs with buddies, but I won't be getting sloshed. I'll have a beer, maybe two and we'll sit around and shoot the proverbial sheet.

And hey, I am taking the advice at least. Remember originally I wanted to help put her through rehab, stay in contact with her. I really truly thought if I did that I could cure her and she would be normal again. Now I realized that will never happen. Addicts only change if they want to, you can't make them. So I'm on the right path.

Woah dude, what the hell? I've broken all contact with her, my next day off I'll take care of the phone situation, I'm done with her! I was able to meet her in person and get rid of her. If, when I met her, I had told her I would take her back, then maybe you would have a right to say that. But nnnnooooo!!!! And I'm definitely not back with her. I have no earthly idea where she is right now or who she's staying with, and I don't want to know. WE ARE DONE!

Seriously, telling the hard truth is one thing, but if you are going to say things like that just get out of here and don't post in this thread again.

You are missing the point. YOU WILL NOT SEE HER become a toothless druggie, or jump of a balcony, or any of that. YOU SHOULD NOT SEE HER.... EVER.

I know it is tough, but you must make yourself hate her. Think of how she HAD you, how she used use as an ATM while she got her rocks off elsewhere. How she is a weak, corrupt person. Morally bankrupt with no sense of conscience!

If she loved you she would not have done any of those things. SHE DID NOT LOVE YOU!!! It was an absolute lie and fabrication. She used you in the uttmost way.

Even her final act was not an act of contrition. It was a selfish grab for property. For a car which was not hers. For possessions which should have gone to Goodwill. Her last phone call was not a cry for help, it was an attempt to control you through guilt.

Follow everyone's advice here. Get thee behind me Satan!!!!(Hint. She is Satan.)

Adopt a greyhound. Chicks LOVE greyhounds, and will come up to YOU and invite you over for a playdate with their dogs. I found this out after being married. Its my gift to you. The greyhound will put a smile on your face every time you come home too.

Armon, I'd like to tell you a very sad and disturbing story about what a meth addict can do to someone they loved. It's a real experience from within my immediate family.

Someday, I'll PM you my phone number and I'll tell you the story if you call me.
I'll probably cry as I tell you...


KT

I signed the title over to her and went with her to the satellite city hall here and made sure the registration was in her name and no longer in mine. I'm clear of that car 100%.

And nah, her name was Melissa.

yeah, that's what I realized in a post up there. I was worried about her become a toothless druggie, but then it dawned on me that I'll never see her again, so I won't have to worry about seeing anything happen to her. Whether she truly loved me or not.... She did at one point, but she is so far gone it really doesn't matter, you know? Anyone that could screw over a guy that was as good to her as I was isn't worth my time. *dusts off hands*

No. Hate is the wrong emotion. Hate is not the opposite of love. Apathy is. You must learn to not care, which is far far harder. It will happen over time. You are going to think about her. You will think about the good times. But everytime you do, picture her naked on a bed with a marine F'ing the crap out of her.

We all here in the thread screwed up. And we're "pushing" you. This is going to take time. But the one piece of advice that is correct is that you need to break contact and get some distance. Break contact. No calls. no meetings (she has what she needs).

You need time, more than anything else to heal the damage. Then you need the MILFs in the hotels on vacation...Be thier fantasy...

I don't want to put you through the pain of reliving it man. I've heard some crazy things though. They make people love them, and make said people go broke, using all the money on drugs. And if it isn't drugs then it's stupid stuff, like "oh hey honey, I know we're strapped for cash right now but here's $75 in sushi!"

(that's not one that happened to me, I was just making up a random example.)

The worst part about meth is that almost no one ever gets over it. And those that DO get over it are never the same. Their lives have to be so heavily adjusted to keep them clean that they become completely different people.

That's a good point about the apathy. And wow, when I got to the part about picturing her doing the other guy... ugh, the mental picture certain does a good job about making me care less and less each time I think about it.

And I know you're all pushing me, and I appreciate it. It's helping. But I think Rick Lee was way out of line with what he said. I've made a TON of progress, I've gotten rid of her and I'm looking towards the future and focusing on my own life now, and he pops in and says "oh hey, he's lying, he's back with her." That's total crap.

Not to be too harsh (why should I stop now), but she didn't. She isn't capable of it. And you might not be either. You likely think you are (I certainly did), but there is love and lust and obsession and need and all the rest. Like I said before, if you didn't know she was using and didn't know she was banging somebody else then *you've* got some work to do. The fact that you were married before to a cold beotch (your own words) means that you're making some errors in judgment. I'm twice divorced so I'm far from perfect but towards the end of the second one I snapped and got my butt into therapy. After about 5 years I finally started to figure out that what I thought was love wasn't anywhere near it...and if I didn't know then how could I find someone else and recognize it? Answer, I couldn't.

Still not sure, but after dating a number of women in the past 3 or 4 years since getting divorced and almost making some of the same mistakes I have a little better understand of wtf is going on. And the key there is *almost* - I didn't make the same mistakes. But until I sorted my own stuff out, I kept making them.

Again, ymmv and everyone has to walk their own path. But some of us have been down quite a few bloody ones.

That's a good point about not being able to love. In the beginning I think she at least THOUGHT she loved me. She told her family and friends so much, etc. Of course, all of that could have been her messed up brain concocting crap. I guess we'll never know the real truth, but it doesn't really matter now.

My problem is I get blinded when I'm in love. My ex wife... When we were dating she was a fantastic girlfriend, and I thought nothing of the warning signs that I now realize were there. Her temper, creating drama over small things, throwing a fit when she didn't get her way. Same thing with Melissa. I knew she had problems in her past, but I was (WAS) in love with her and I believed her when she said they were in the past. When she was with me she was sober the longest time in apparently the last 3 years. And really there weren't any warning signs about the cheating. There were plenty with the drugs, and I brushed them aside and thought that if I was good enough to her and gave her a perfect life, her drug issues would go away. It worked for a short period of time, but as we all know, junkies will find a way. We were happy, things were good, and this past month she had been slightly distant, but I figured it was because her mother's birthday was this month (her mother committed suicide when she was 13). She usually gets depressed around that time. Now I realize that the distant way she was acting was probably because she had other things on her mind, like returning to drugs and marine penis. Unfortunately I tend to learn best from my mistakes. I've made some mistakes with her and with my ex wife. Fortunately I am realizing all the mistakes I've made, cataloging them in my brain, and filing them for later reference. Man, next time I meet a chick, if she has even the slightest hint of any kind of problem, I'm turning and walking away.

In the end I do think she is capable of love. She is a very loving person, and has been all her life. However she has too many other problems that destroy everything and ruin her as a person, and cut her love off short. Most of them seem to stem from the drugs. Her drug problem and personality issues that arise when drugs take over are stronger than her personality. They are stronger than her positive traits. Now that I think about it, I'm really glad I'll never see her again. It would be too difficult to have to deal with her again, especially if I saw her at her lowest.

I'm mostly thinking out loud at this point. So no matter how things like this post may sound, I want to assure everyone that I am through with her, forever.

You need to realize that you are in DANGER. Real, actual DANGER to your person.
Your most valuable possession.


KT

That's a good sign. Was. Atta boy! Stay away from a girl named Dawn from Texas if approached. That girl had a mouth on her that was better than a hoover.

Never mind Rick, he moved from one of the Vaginas to the desert of Arizona. Kinda hard to retain any credibility after that.

I didn't even realize I typed "was" until you mentioned it. Woah. I guess I'm doing better than I thought.

No. She is not. Sure, she loves what you can do for her...the money, a warm bed, the ring, moving her to Hawaii. But don't kid yourself. She doesn't love YOU, never did. In her selfish mind she might say she loved you, but she only loved what she could get from you. And she "loved" the Marine for the same reasons. All selfish reasons.

Truth is, she doesn't even love herself. Drugs, promiscuity, suicide in the family. She doesn't love herself, and she doesn't love you. Never did.

Trust me, I understand the danger. I spent a ton of money giving her the perfect life and she threw it away. In talking to her grandmother, I learned that the exact same thing happened a year ago with her grandma. She took her in, clothed her, fed her, gave her a new life, and melissa ruined it. I was telling her the things Melissa said and her reply was always the same "She said the same thing to me. Don't believe her." It's bad when a woman will say that about her own beloved granddaughter.

The more I talk about it though, the easier it gets. I feel pretty good now, just really tired. Working night isn't going to be too fun tonight. At least I just made some food to bring with me to work, to ensure I'm eating properly. And I'm drinking water. When I took the urinalysis this morning my pee was so dark it looked like freaking beef jerky.

[QUOTE=1967 R50/2;4204340] yeah. She probably thought she loved me, but you're right. She's too far gone, and doing what she did kinda proves there's something seriously wrong with her "love".

Okay, I'm going to work now. I'll post back in the morning to let you all know how I'm doing. If I get a chance, I'll hop on one of the unclassified computers at work and drop a line during the night.

You know, the most annoying part is having to tell the story over and over again. "What happened, man?" "Well... *5 minutes later* and I'm done with her now" I need to condense it.

I gave her the chance of a lifetime to build a perfect life. She ruined it by screwing someone else and doing hard drugs. We're through forever. End of story.

I think you just did...