What would you do? Teens drinking. - Page 2

71T Targa · 10-13-2008, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bivenator

Man, you guys didn't have parties as a kid. If the parents have known about the kids friends in the past and they didn't specifically ask you to keep an eye out then I would have MYOB. If they didn't trash your property or cause you trouble then I don't think calling the cops on an 18 yo was necessary.
I have a 19 yo girl at home. When we leave for the weekend we say "No parties and the neighbors will be watching." We inform the neighbors and so far so good.

The understanding by all is that I will be watching. Not going over to check to see that he's home at night or anything like that, but keeping an eye on things.

What would you want your neighbors to do if there was a party? Not a few friends over, but cars up and down the street and kids inside and out kind of party. People there who don't even know your daughters name kind of party.

johnco · 10-13-2008, 09:24 AM

I had my own apt by 11th grade and 15yrs old. quarts of beer were $0.39 and boonesfarm was $0.89 maybe, if my friend wasn't working that night. $110 a lb for other party favors. although I never tried any, purple microdot and orange sunshine was maybe $3. 18 yrs old is old enough to die fighting a war, get married, buy a house.. I would think a night drinking beer wouldn't be such a terrible thing.

71T Targa · 10-13-2008, 11:02 AM

If this was his place I would tend to agree. Even if he'd kept it to a few friends I wouldn't have been too worried about it.

mattdavis11 · 10-13-2008, 02:04 PM

Boy am I glad that the neighbors stepped in when I threw parties in high school. Being the polite host, I'd offer them a drink (he didn't drink, she did). They were cool, no cops, but they did ask everyone to leave, which they did. Of course there were a few residuals, but the early exit of most left more than enough beer to finish the night off.

The neighbors never let it escalate, they knew when it was time to pull the plug. I can't remember getting into any trouble either, just good laughs (years later) when we sit down at the table for Thanksgiving, or Easter, or Christmas, etc.. with them.

9dreizig · 10-13-2008, 02:14 PM

Back in the day , we used to have huge parties all the time at my house.. However times have changed,, if it were a few kids over drinking and no one is driving and drinking I'd keep my mouth shut.. However, your neighbors could end up in jail, so you might want to in a calm conversation let them know their kids are opening them up to lawsuits or worse...
Kids need to know the potential liability they are exposing thier parents to..

pwd72s · 10-13-2008, 03:17 PM

I never got away with much of anything. The moms in my neighborhood all got together once a week for what they called a pinochle club'. I called it's the neighborhood mother spy & tell network.

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gogar

+1 every good teen party has an "abandon ship" moment.

I don't think you need to worry about trying to keep the neighbors' kid happy. Just do the right thing, like you did.

I remember playing a party in HS. I had a few empty beer bottles on top of my amp, and we were set up in the backyard of a house in Del Cerro (upscale part of San Diego). There were about 30 or 40 kids in the backyard, and we're in the middle of playing White Room or something and out of my peripheral vision I see this sea of kids go whoosh to the left and over the fence. I turn around and see a couple officers there. We immediately stop playing and I try not to look at the beer bottles on my amp (was 16 at the time). One cop says, "the party is over" to which I reply, "yes, sir, we'll pack up right now..."

I had a lot of conversations with police the next 5 or 6 years. Never ended up in jail, thankfully. But some odd moments to be sure. Like when they came in and my buddy had an axe he was taking to a plastic 5 gal water bottle...

craigster59 · craigster59's Garage

A little Uncle Buck houseparty visit would have been in order...

slodave · slodave's Garage

Party pooper!

It was a right-of-passage on my block. Call the neighbors in advance and let them know. <- Even when we were underage. I had a party that started Friday night and ended on Sunday afternoon. I would have gotten away with it, but apparently my parents called at one point and someone answered the phone.

Ah the good ole' days!

ikarcuaso · 10-13-2008, 11:28 PM

During H.S., I arrived at well-advertised party only to discover that the dude's parents surprisingly came home early from their trip. They put the kegs away, and the mom was serving up juice, sodas and cookies. She was very pleasant, but it was really weird, since they pretty much knew most of the visitors went to their home to get hammered. Many kids just bailed, others hung out a bit, not sure what to do next.

jcommin · jcommin's Garage

I'm a single parent with a 20 year old son. I went out of the country for 2 weeks and gave my son and his girl friend instructions no parties. I came home to a clean house and suspected nothing. Two days later, I had 2 policeman come to the door to tell me they responded to a call at my house because loud music was playing. Now kids are very smart. If they don't answer the door, the police can't come in. Without a warrant, all they can do is wait for the persons to come out of the house; then they can be stopped, arrested, etc. Only when the door is opened can the police come in; you are giving them the responsibility to take charge. My son knows this and didn't answer the door.

The police tagged 25 kids coming out of my house, arresting only 1 person for under aged drinking. They estimated at least 50 kids and 25 cars around the house. After confronting my son; I really looked around. Nothing broken but several things missing, some of my personal stuff. I also have a rug, hand made from Iran, given to me as a gift that now has a couple of fruit punch stains on it. The wood floors looked dirty.

I took his car (I own it) away from him permanently. I made him clean the wood floors and tidy up the place. I was too stunned to be mad. I learned a few things.

My son doesn't get it. I further say most kids don't.
As a parent, no matter where you are (I was in South Africa) you are responsible and libel for activities in your home.

2 weeks later, I heard loud music that woke me up at 3:00 am. It was my son with 15 of his close personnal friends having a few beers. I have never seen so much alcohol since my college days. I was pissed off. I grabed my cell phone a called the police. Yes I called the police on my own son.

Like rats leaving a ship, they all scattered includung my son. They couldn't believe what I did. When my son finally came home, I grabbed him and said ' I tried this you way and now I'm going to do it my way'. I threw him out, changed the locks.

This happened in May of this year. My son needs to call me before he comes over. I sleep good at nite. I hear no loud music, especially that lolly pop song. Most of his friends if not all are afraid of me. I was depressed for a month because I couldn't believe it had to come to this. I questioned my parenting.

Looking back, it was the smartest thing I have ever done. I would do it again. Most of my friends said it was about time.

I read somwhere where President LBJ said ' if you tell somebody to go to hell, make sure he stays there'. I believe this. Threatening doesn't work - you need to act.

onewhippedpuppy · 10-14-2008, 04:45 AM

I know every situation is different, but throwing out your 15 year old for drinking? Damn......

Rot 911 · 10-14-2008, 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

I know every situation is different, but throwing out your 15 year old for drinking? Damn......

The son is 20. Like you, when I first read it I thought he was 15. The sentence structure threw me off.

onewhippedpuppy · 10-14-2008, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kurt V

The son is 20. Like you, when I first read it I thought he was 15. The sentence structure threw me off.

Gotcha. Obviously my reading comprehension is lacking, I guess I need more coffee.

I retract my statement, sounds like it was time for him to go. Moving out on my own at 19 was one of the best decisions I ever made, nothing like being forced to grow up.

legion · 10-14-2008, 05:16 AM

Wow Jim, sounds like your son has been a handful lately.

71T Targa · 10-14-2008, 06:01 AM

Jim, sounds like you made the right decision.

The neighbors get home today. It will be interesting to find out if they've already heard about the weekend.

71T Targa · 10-15-2008, 10:37 AM

Well the parents are back in town and I've talked to the mom a little. She had gotten a call from the sheriff while they were at the house busting up the party, and she told him to go ahead and arrest the kid. The sheriff said he wouldn't be doing that, but stayed till everyone was gone. The kid (18) has been told that was the last straw and he needs to find a place of his own. Not sure if they gave him a time to be out or not.

She was very happy that I'd called the sheriff and that I was keeping an eye on things.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

I missed the ages in some of these posts. Why are any 18 or 20 yr. olds living with their parents?

71T Targa · 10-15-2008, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

I missed the ages in some of these posts. Why are any 18 or 20 yr. olds living with their parents?

In the case of my neighbor, he was all set to join the Army after high school and his family talked him out of it.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

Well, I have to admit I did live at home until I started college, which was three mos. after my 18th b-day. But I never spent a day of that summer not working and I knew my folks would not hesitate to kick me out of the house, had I done stuff that got their house trashed or put them in legal trouble. I think I spent most of the next summer living with my folks too. But that was it. Thereafter I was there for Thanksgiving, Xmas and b-days only.