What would you do? Teens drinking.

71T Targa · 10-13-2008, 06:04 AM

I came home Saturday night to find my neighbor having a party for a few dozen of his 'closest' friends. He's 18, and I know his parents are out of town for the weekend.

We live at the end of a 1/2 mile long dead end where everyone has 2-5 acre lots so this is really a good place to have a party. He's had friends over before, but it's always just been a handful and for the most part I didn't even know they were there. But Saturday night was a much bigger party as I can see kids in the garage, house, and filling the back deck. One kid is walking the street with a camel-back that I'm sure isn't filled with water...

I have a great relationship with the parents, and they (the kid too) pretty much know I'll report back to them anything that goes on while they're out of town. And for the most part I tell them that he's had friends over, and they've already known.

So, what would you do? Or have done?

Porsche-O-Phile · Porsche-O-Phile's Garage

In my next casual conversation with them, when they brag about / bring up how awesome their kids are (parents absolutely are incapable of going through any conversation lasting more than 15 seconds without doing this) I'd simply nod and agree and tell them how they're so lucky to have kids they can trust to have a 50-person-party on their property while they're out of town and know that the cops wouldn't even be called more than once. Most parents would have had to deal with their kids getting arrested or worse and they're very fortunate to know that the fine example of their children by ensuring that there were only a few guests driving home drunk should serve as a model for others in this day and age.

vash · vash's Garage

well, i would have kept the garage closed, and all my friends inside. and i would have never let anyone fill up a camelback.

oh, you mean what would "YOU" do? hmmmm, that is tougher. i think let them be. the parents cant be that blind.

M.D. Holloway · 10-13-2008, 06:15 AM

Tough call - I may have walked over to the kid that night and looked him in the eye and said, "Son, your better than that..." and walked away. This phrase works 100% with ours but it is only used occasionally.

legion · 10-13-2008, 06:17 AM

Call the cops to bust up the party.

Or better yet, just walk over there with a flashlight and yell: "Police! Everybody freeze!" That will end the party real quick...

stomachmonkey · 10-13-2008, 06:25 AM

Had plenty of these as a youth.

Sometimes "word" gets out and the party grows on its own.

Would have gone over to "check in". Everything cool, kids under control then tell the neighbors son to call you or come get you if things get beyond his ability to handle. You'll simply show up "unannounced" so he does not lose face.

If you went over and it was already getting out of control then you shut it down. More than likely if the kid is as you say a good kid he'd appreciate it.

Regardless, showing your face sends the message that the event will be brought to parents attention which should help keep things under control.

onewhippedpuppy · 10-13-2008, 06:29 AM

Go over and have a drink?

Just watch out for the jailbait.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

This is another reason I don't want kids.

Do you have any legal liability for knowing what's going on and not calling the cops? One of these parties happened in my neighborhood when I was in junior high (which is why I wasn't there

). It got way out of hand with kids driving their cars all over the front yard, trashing the house, stealing perscr. drugs. We all heard about it for weeks afterwards. How do you know what's going in that house?

id10t · 10-13-2008, 07:16 AM

I'd be under his bedroom window at about 6am the next day, with a big hammer or long stick and an empty metal garbage can.... If'n you want to play, sometimes you gotta pay...

cstreit · cstreit's Garage

I'd tell the parents when they got home or call them immediately. Why? You've got to decide who you want to remain friends with, the 18 year old or the parents? How would you feel if the parents found out that you watched their kid throw a drinking party and didn't say anything? How would you feel if it were YOUR kids and the neighbors didn't say anything? I'd be pissed!

I expect my neighbors to watch what my kids do (mind you my son is almost 4, not 18) but the feeling is mutual. That's part of what's great about my area... We all do the same. The next door neighbors 15 year old son and his friends 'hang out' in our culdesac on the weekend nights. I know my neighbor would be pissed if I saw them drinking and didn't tell him.

71T Targa · 10-13-2008, 07:25 AM

OK, so I told the kid with the camel-back to "let 'John' know that I was keeping an eye on things and would be letting his folks know what was up." The kid said something like "Who's John?" so I knew things were beyond friends, and on to friends of friends friends...

I went home and out to my back deck where I could see their deck pretty well, and got the distinct impression that they were 'lighting up' as well as the drinking.

I made a call to the sheriff's office and asked that they do a drive by and they said they'd send a couple of cars. 45 minutes to an hour later I hear the dogs going crazy to so I go back out to my deck and watch the rats leaving the ship. Kids are running through the backyards and hiding in the bushes. It was quite a show.

The sheriff spends an hour or so there and sends everyone home. I don't know if any parents were called or what really went down. There were 4 or 5 cars that were left there for the night and picked up in the morning, and there were a few kids wandering through the yard the next morning looking for something they may have 'lost' the night before.

The parents get back in to town tomorrow and we will have a conversation as well.

equality72521 · 10-13-2008, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cstreit

i'd tell the parents when they got home or call them immediately. Why? You've got to decide who you want to remain friends with, the 18 year old or the parents? How would you feel if the parents found out that you watched their kid throw a drinking party and didn't say anything? How would you feel if it were your kids and the neighbors didn't say anything? I'd be pissed!

I expect my neighbors to watch what my kids do (mind you my son is almost 4, not 18) but the feeling is mutual. That's part of what's great about my area... We all do the same. The next door neighbors 15 year old son and his friends 'hang out' in our culdesac on the weekend nights. I know my neighbor would be pissed if i saw them drinking and didn't tell him.

+1

gtc · gtc's Garage

Hehe, you know it's not a really good party unless the cops get called! You may have done him a favor!

71T Targa · 10-13-2008, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtc

Hehe, you know it's not a really good party unless the cops get called! You may have done him a favor!

I did think of that...

but figured I was going his parents the bigger favor...

Gogar · 10-13-2008, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtc

Hehe, you know it's not a really good party unless the cops get called! You may have done him a favor!

+1 every good teen party has an "abandon ship" moment.

I don't think you need to worry about trying to keep the neighbors' kid happy. Just do the right thing, like you did.

Moses · 10-13-2008, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gogar

+1 every good teen party has an "abandon ship" moment.

Exactly. And that's precisely why I've developed the KEG BACKPACK.
When you're party gets busted and you're running for the woods, why leave the beer behind?

onlycafe · 10-13-2008, 08:57 AM

is there viagra in that beer?

bivenator · 10-13-2008, 09:02 AM

Man, you guys didn't have parties as a kid. If the parents have known about the kids friends in the past and they didn't specifically ask you to keep an eye out then I would have MYOB. If they didn't trash your property or cause you trouble then I don't think calling the cops on an 18 yo was necessary.
I have a 19 yo girl at home. When we leave for the weekend we say "No parties and the neighbors will be watching." We inform the neighbors and so far so good.

ikarcuaso · 10-13-2008, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

Do you have any legal liability for knowing what's going on and not calling the cops?

This is a good point. Or even if no liability, what if you found out that later that night, a kid from the party wrapped his car around a tree and those in the car died?

I think you did the right thing.

scottmandue · 10-13-2008, 09:11 AM

I had a similar problem... but at my house...

I have a couple of friends who are armature musicians so for Y2K we threw together a makeshift band and learned a dozen or so songs.

We set up in the garage and had chips and a three foot sandwich on the work bench, we are all adults so it was BYOB. People came and went through out the night but we had a constant ten to twelve visitors and I knew everyone that showed up, I pulled the plug on the band at midnight and by two everyone was gone.

We decided that was so much fun we would keep the band together and do couple of holiday parties at my house.

Second party was about twenty people and some friends of friends that I didn't know.

Third party there was thirty to forty people and half of them were complete strangers. Next morning I was picking up trash and empty bottles in the yard... not my idea of fun.

Broke up the band and no more parties over at my house, lesson learned.

I still will have six or eight close friends over for special occasions but screw the house party thing