my wife has a stalker.

[vash]

one of her Ex's. dude is now a doctor. smart kid i guess.

i have been with my wife for 9 years. 8 years dating, one year married. ever since the beginning this fool has been around. in the early years of our relationship, he would call her about 30 times a day (they ended the relationship 2 years before i got on the scene). she cancelled her cellphone, and "disappeared". i hear that particular ringtone, and i still cringe. anyways, her company gets all progressive and developes a webpage, complete with phonenumbers. it all starts up again. he showed up once at her work with diamond earrings, which she dumped in the garbage can. (he didnt collect them, so i hope the janitor got them). the worst it got, i found her crying in downtown SF. i picked her up, but he got away. he also took to calling me. trying tell me about their fantastic lovelife back in the day. i took the highroad, and never engaged him in arguement. his mom even called my wife's mom hoping she could talk sense to her daughter. freaky stuff.

recently, my wife got laid off, so i think he checked up the website, and found her gone. he has been calling again. i never knew this. i heard her phone ringing, and she looked but didnt answer. all these years and i can read her like a book. i asked and she said he calls a few time a month. he emailed my wife and told her that he is now engaged. (poor girl) but he doenst love his fiance like he love (my wife) her.

some of you have met my wife. she isnt angry at all in general. rose colorered glasses, finger tamborines, patcholie oil...happy. she never raises her voice to the stalker, and is just indifferent to the guy. she made me promise not to "release the kraken" on the fool, so i have kept it. ironically, one of my ex's married a dude whose parents were the dean of the guys med school. he is unstable, but i dont think he is dangerous. if i died of mysterious causes, he would be the #1 suspect, tho. he tries to get into my house, i will stop him with a tickle fight. i dont know his name. 9 years! wtf?

[911Rob]

Time for a serious BeeOtch slap imo.

[rammstein]

These are the kind of situations that the mafia is ideally suited for.

[nostatic]

An ex g/f had a similar stalker type. I confronted him on the phone and it didn't really alter things. Only time did...eventually he stopped calling. Does she answer the phone or reply to emails? She shouldn't and should just put filters to send the emails to the trash. When the phone rings send it straight to vm and delete the messages. If he ever shows up in person call the police and get a TRO.

I hate stalkers...I wanted to pound the crap out of the one my ex had. Still do. I actually still have a 40 page rambling letter than he wrote to her (she wanted me to keep it "just in case"). Freaks, all of them.

[Rikao4]

if he died would you be suspect...

9 yrs..dude...your way to calm...

me..one of us would be seeking police prot...
hint, it's not going to be me..
all that med trng..wonder if he can do CPR to himself..

Rika

[Heel n Toe]

At least contact the police and file a restraining order... do those things cover phonecalls, too?

[pwd72s]

Time for a cellphone number change...at the very least!

Shoulda pawned the diamonds...then mailed him the ticket...

[Jims5543]

Vash - edit your post and remove the last line.

You never know.


I agree with nostatic, no contact at all, period. Completely ignore him and he will go away as long as he thinks he has an audience he will not stop.

[ikarcuaso]

Whoa, this is the type of thing that could push me over. Your wife sounds very much like mine - would keep it in perspective and not trip over it. I think most guys would have drawn the line by now. Sounds like this dude doesn't know where the line is. Scary.

Why was she crying in The City? My wife has had similar episodes with some dudes, but nothing to this level. If I found her crying, I'd be out to make that punk cry, too.

[rouxroux]

Call speeder.....

[SLO-BOB]

edited for propriety.

[GWN7]

Try telling him not to call ever again? It would have to come from your wife. Then back it up with a restraining order (that makes it official that you both don't want anything to do with him). Then I'd send a letter to the AMA. They won't do anything except put it on his file that he's unstable but he might have to explain to their board why he has kept up the harrasment. Find out who he's engaged to and send her a copy of the email he sent to your wife about not loving her.

[vash]

Originally Posted by Jims5543

Vash - edit your post and remove the last line.

You never know.


I agree with nostatic, no contact at all, period. Completely ignore him and he will go away as long as he thinks he has an audience he will not stop.

hahahahah. i just did. check it out.

yea, i am going to ditch her phone and put her on my verizon family plan. crazy chinese woman doenst want to drop her plan early because of the $175 penalty. it ends next month anyways.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by GWN7

Try telling him not to call ever again? It would have to come from your wife. Then back it up with a restraining order (that makes it official that you both don't want anything to do with him). Then I'd send a letter to the AMA. They won't do anything except put it on his file that he's unstable but he might have to explain to their board why he has kept up the harrasment. Find out who he's engaged to and send her a copy of the email he sent to your wife about not loving her.

bad advice imho. You do not want to engage a stalker - they live for acknowledgement. And messing with their lives will just make them more resolute in screwing with yours. You are essentially telling them that they are important.

Change numbers and email addresses, zero contact. If he shows up in person call police and get a TRO. Eventually he will fade away.

[Burnin' oil]

Originally Posted by nostatic

. . .
I hate stalkers... Freaks, all of them.

that hurts! Bad todd!

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by Burnin' oil

that hurts! Bad todd!

but you're my special freak...

[Burnin' oil]

Todd makes it better.

[ramonesfreak]

this guy is a doctor and has to make judgments about life saving medical treatment? whoa! i have done some stupid stupid things because of love and heartache but i was like 18 years old. this person you described is an insane lunatic

his mother is just as insane.

honestly, i wouldnt be able to help myself. i would go to him in person, unannounced where i was not being recorded, and i would quietly threaten him with a gruesome and painful death. smile. wink. drive away

:-)

p.s. be aware doctors like to carry their dictation tape records with them

[MOMO3.2]

Vash:

I would definitely file a restraining order. I don't think this situation is by any means "normal". I would imagine this guy has some pretty serious issues to be hanging around after 9 years. Moreover, when you and your wife were married, it should have offically been game over for him. He obviously has zero respect for your legal union.

You have stayed passive long enough. That crap about him calling you to discuss their "romantic" encounters would send me over the edge. You really cannot physically harm him without very negative consequences for you. So, I would sit down with my wife and tell her this stalking needs to stop NOW! She needs to agree to involve the police, NEVER answer an email and change her cell phone number. If she balks at all, you have other concerns...

He needs to be out of your lives--now! This guy is unstable.

Good luck!

Mike

[Rikao4]

wonder what bouncing down the Hospital stairs would sound like..

Rika