What are you and your spouse/SO's arguing style?

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Sapporo Guy

lolo, I'm horrible at math!

1 + c are what?
c = child ?
1 = one failed marriage?
...

Nah, your math skills are just fine and you think just like most guys imo. That was the point I was trying to make...women "tick" differently than we do imo and there is no set formula. Quit trying to figure it out (the formula, not women )...I just threw something out there as a joke...

[Rikao4]

seems when D get's involved..
it's ..their my kids..
when he does hands off..
you don't care..

drink up D..your screwed.
in time they will lead their lives and Mommy will be lucky to get a call..
she may find herself alone...
but hey..she's got her girls.

Rika

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by Rikao4

seems when D get's involved..
it's ..their my kids..
when he does hands off..
you don't care..

drink up D..your screwed.
in time they will lead their lives and Mommy will be lucky to get a call..
she may find herself alone...
but hey..she's got her girls.

Rika

You forgot when they get in legal trouble (nothing major...typical teenage stuff) its "help them... represent them." When its time to cut the deal with youth court/punishment its "You've sabotaged their case so they'll be punished more severely." Those were her exact words. The irony is that all the stuff is not ever gonna go on their records and will be expunged at age 21. THAT is one that really stuck in my craw.

[vash]

you guys hear the story where the wife handcuffs herself to her sleeping husband to make sure he stays put, "so they can talk it out?" he had just announced his intent to bail on the marriage.

she started biting and attacking him, he called 911.

[Rikao4]

your trying to see & focus on a future with her..
she see's her future with them..
her focus ..too me..it's not you D.

she needs to see & want..

just you and me...

Rika

[RWebb]

1a. She says something.
1b. I immediately agree with her.

2a. She requests something - or just implies a request.
2b. I do it.

3a. She complains about something.
3b. I explain how to address the issue.
3c. But... she then states that I am doing a "male thing, trying to fix the problem."
3d. I immediately agree with her (see 1b); then apologize for having a Y chromosome, and tell her how much I sympathize with whatever is her problem.
3e. She points out I am just doing that to sympathize, and that I don't really feel that way.
3f. I repeat 3d; This feedback cycles until she runs out of steam.
3g. I grab her, and... [deleted - does not meet R or PG stds.]

This makes things a LOT easier and is the key to getting along with any woman.


The hard part is not making yourself agree with whatever a woman SAYS
-- and it is not making yourself do what ever a woman SAYS she wants.

The hard part is to intuit, guess, predict or divine what she wants but did not say she wants.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by RWebb

1a. She says something.
1b. I immediately agree with her.

2a. She requests something - or just implies a request.
2b. I do it.

3a. She complains about something.
3b. I explain how to address the issue.
3c. But... she then states that I am doing a "male thing, trying to fix the problem."
3d. I immediately agree with her (see 1b); then apologize for having a Y chromosome, and tell her how much I sympathize with whatever is her problem.
3e. She points out I am just doing that to sympathize, and that I don't really feel that way.
3f. I repeat 3d; This feedback cycles until she runs out of steam.
3g. I grab her, and... [deleted - does not meet R or PG stds.]

This makes things a LOT easier and is the key to getting along with any woman.


The hard part is not making yourself agree with whatever a woman SAYS
-- and it is not making yourself do what ever a woman SAYS she wants.

The hard part is to intuit, guess, predict or divine what she wants but did not say she wants.

Makes the gays look pretty smart, huh?

[Sapporo Guy]

lolo, I have heard that line from friends who are gay. Actually, I admitted to them that is "the best" reason to convert Too bad I like the opposite sex too much...



Come to think of it. Somebody much older than me at the time (now that I think of it, is still much smarter than I am now) told me:

- to NOT to listen to women (let it go in one ear and out the other ear)
- they don't know what they want
- they make the wrong choices
- they aren't as romantic as men
- will blame you for rainy days

I thought he was a bit rude, negative and had a problem with women ... today as I write this ... I wonder if ... I was wrong.

note: not all women can be like this? Can they?


Due,
Looks like you got yourself a tough one. However, it also looks like your lady has many good sides to her too, else I'm sure you wouldn't be with her.

Just left her know and feel secure that you'll take all kinds of crap from her but you will also let her know when she has said / gone too far.

I tell my SO that she just struck out with A,B,C points and that 3 times is more than any person including her own family would take from her. I then say that I need to cool off (I've pretty much given up on blowing up).

I've also learned that if she apologizes (in person or by mail) that I apologize too. lolo, I figure that I must have done something, so throwing in an apology if only to make peace is well worth 3 words - "I'm sorry."

[RWebb]

just accept that you are responsible for rainy days

[dipso]

It's simple.
She argues and I have style.

[Bill Douglas]

I haven't read all of the posts so I don't know if anyone has used this technique.

An ex used to really go nuts at me. Instead of fighting back which is what she wanted, she loved the drama, I'd sit there and really listen to what she had to say until she ran out of words and out of breath to some degree. Next I'd say "Sure, no problem, I'm sorry you feel that way and I'll do something about it" Next she would burst into tears and start opologising for being such a b1tch.

[sammyg2]

We don't argue anymore, been married too long.
But back in the day she would get pissed and start griping, I would ignore her. tune her out, act as if she wasn't there. I could watch TV right through her.
That made her so mad she would go ballistic.
But she wasn't there.

Nothing I could have said would have drove her crazy as much as ignoring her.
After a couple days of her "not being there" she'd say sorry and we'd do the MUS thing.