When did you know it was over in a relationship? - Page 11

the · 09:25 AM

Is it unusual?

Didn't seem to me to be, it seemed like a lot of my friends had the same situation.

I was always a high achiever and never disappointed my parents (well, only once, but I turned out to be right in the end). They always trusted my judgment (again, except for once) and felt that my having to worry about money, or having a job, etc. would put me at a competitive disadvantage during my schooling.

onewhippedpuppy · 07-08-2009, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the

Is it unusual?

Didn't seem to me to be, it seemed like a lot of my friends had the same situation.

You must have ran with a ritzy crowd. I never knew anyone that lucky in college.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

You must have ran with a ritzy crowd. I never knew anyone that lucky in college.

I knew plenty of girls that lucky in college, but no guys.

cmccuist · 07-08-2009, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Any married man who claims to not be whipped is in denial.

My wife told me I wasn't whipped.

Oh Haha · 07-08-2009, 10:24 AM

Interesting topic turn.

Some outsiders may view a man as being PW'd but I don't think ANYONE on Pelican would qualify. We are on a site that is for exotic sports cars. Duh. I'm pretty sure PW'd fellas don't get to own cool cars.

I respect my wife and we are equals in our marriage BUT when I act like an idiot she puts me in my place. IMO, a man that cannot accept that has his own problems. I have learned much from my failed marriage AFTER dealing with some of my own issues.

Jim, this isn't a dig on/at you. I only see that your marriage mirrors my first based on what you've written and I did some of the same things as you.

ruf-porsche · ruf-porsche's Garage

Guys buy exotic sportscars just so they can pickup the HOT girls. That's the only reason for owning a sportscar if you don't race it.

Oh Haha · 07-08-2009, 10:41 AM

Your wife lets you pick up hot girls? cool

ruf-porsche · ruf-porsche's Garage

I met the current Mrs. Ruf-Porsche when I was 37 and she was 17.

porsche4life · porsche4life's Garage

DOOD thats not legal....

imcarthur · imcarthur's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

And I still believe Ian's room monkeys will move back in with him too.

Not yet. Even though RM#2 hasn't been working for several months. They are off to Vancouver next week for a cheap holiday. It's actually very pleasant when they come for dinner (and take all of the leftovers). RM#1 is - surprise, surprise - learning to cook with a gourmet flair. There is hope for them yet. Of course, he claims she wants to put anise & oyster sauce in everything she cooks so it is self-preservation to some degree.

We did have one scare when they had a monster fight several months ago & RM#2 threatened to leave him & go back to China but that blew over quickly.

Ian

ruf-porsche · ruf-porsche's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by porsche4life

DOOD thats not legal....

What not legal about meeting people? I didn't start dating her until she was 24.

Heel n Toe · 07-08-2009, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Groesbeck Hurricane

The following is a downsized (cleaned up) statement from my wife:

That b*#%@!!!!! I'll bet she was calling her attorney! (Wife is fuming mad!!!)

She is lying to him, deceiving him, it is the same thing as if she were cheating on him!!! It destroys relationships, kills trust!! She left him, she moved out, he never asked her to move out! What is her d$&# signal to him???

Dump the b&$*@!! He can do better! I hate nice guys finishing last!!!

Oh, and my Wife almost never curses!!

Female response #1.

Someone contact Kathy and Angela and get their input... I think it will be eye-opening.

slodave · slodave's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by the

When I was in college, and later graduate school, my parents gave me a credit card that they paid. I never saw the bills. I have no idea what the limit on it was, but I'm sure it was high.

They also gave me an ATM card linked to an account that always had plenty of money in it. I never saw the account statements for the account, I just know that no matter how much I withdrew, there was always plenty left!

I was free to spend it however I saw fit. They never once mentioned spending, or limits to me. Never had to. I spent as little of it as possible. I never viewed it as my money to waste.

Same for me, except for the ATM and the last two lines

By the time I was done with the card, it had a $25,000 limit

Jim, I hope things work out.

pwd72s · 07-08-2009, 04:49 PM

Me too...Jim, I hope that no matter what happens, you come out of it okay...

Dueller · 07-09-2009, 06:09 AM

Well we had a phone conversation. Nutshell: She's angry as hell still. Deflects the deception issue and blames it on her fear of me getting angry, although she did acknowledge that it was wrong to deceive me. We began to go into tit-for-tat mode but I tried to shut that down.

Says she values the marriage and wants to make a run at fixing it. Agrees counseling wil be necessary, but thinks I am the one with the problems. She is just fine, thank you. Needs space. Thinks there is a possibility for fixing relationship but it may be a month, six months or a year.

Is shopping for an apartment to lease. When I suggest that may be a bit hasty and there are other options to live apart before making a long term lease commitment, she is adamant she does not want my suggestions: "I am not going to do what you want me to."

So there ya go.

mike monde · 07-09-2009, 06:15 AM

I would say that it is over.

Oh Haha · 07-09-2009, 06:15 AM

Sounds to me like she has already made her mind up on what she wants to happen.

Hang in there, bud. It sounds like it's going to be a wild ride.

masraum · 07-09-2009, 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dueller

Well we had a phone conversation. Nutshell: She's angry as hell still. Deflects the deception issue and blames it on her fear of me getting angry, although she did acknowledge that it was wrong to deceive me. We began to go into tit-for-tat mode but I tried to shut that down.

Says she values the marriage and wants to make a run at fixing it. Agrees counseling wil be necessary, but thinks I am the one with the problems. She is just fine, thank you. Needs space. Thinks there is a possibility for fixing relationship but it may be a month, six months or a year.

Is shopping for an apartment to lease. When I suggest that may be a bit hasty and there are other options to live apart before making a long term lease commitment, she is adamant she does not want my suggestions: "I am not going to do what you want me to."

So there ya go.

Wow, that's unfortunate. It sounds like it has a decent chance of working out well, but it sounds like she's immature. What you related above sounds like something a teenager would do.

I suspect that once she's away a bit, she'll figure out that she's better off with you.

Good luck.

Dueller · 07-09-2009, 06:24 AM

I think what will be telling is the counselling issue. I have resumed seeing a counsellor to deal with my own issues. I asked if she wants to see him together, her counsellor or come up with somebody independent. Put it her court to pick someone. Work prevents us from doing anything this week so she will schedule someone next week.

If she does schedule a session she may be sincere about working on the relationship. Or perhaps she wants to use it as a forum to get confirmation I am a f-up. I doubt she thinks any counselor would suggest the kids coming between us are a problem. But that is purely my speculation/conjecture.

Time to start taking care of me.

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dueller

Thinks there is a possibility for fixing relationship but it may be a month, six months or a year.

Sounds like she wants to shop around. Time to punch out. You'll be sitting around waiting, while she's living it up, but if you tap some strange, it will be used against you.