Going to help my sis-in-law sign up with Match.com

[svandamme]

so no pics, ok, that's fine

but is she a good cook?
ironing?
cleaning?
loaded with cash?

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by NineOhOne

Why not cut out the middle-man and go straight to the "Nymphomaniacs Anonymous" meeting?

Oh, sure it's fun for 4 or 5 years, but then what?

[The Gaijin]

Originally Posted by nostatic

I have a set of hard and fast rules that I learned the hard way. A few important ones:

DO NOT enter into an email relationship. They are fake. Do not enter into a phone relationship. They are fake also. You have to meet in person and meet fairly soon in the process. If you fail to follow the above, don't say I didn't warn you.

I had a process that I followed. I searched on certain parameters that were important to me. I then wrote a short email to ones that I liked. No winks, no spam everyone, and no novels. But also not just, "hey I like you write me back." Usually it was one or two paragraphs, and I always commented on something specific that they put in their profile. They need to know that you actually read it.

If they wrote back, then I would exchange one or *maybe* two emails to get a feel for what they liked, how they thought, etc. If it felt OK I'd suggest we meet for coffee. Don't plan a meal. Don't commit to a long date. You have NO idea who this other person is, and pictures/profile do not tell the whole (or even part of the story). Sometimes people would prefer to talk on the phone first which is fine - BUT, only one or two calls.

The reason I stress this is that the profile sets up false expectations. You begin to get interested in the picture and the text and not the person. You have to very soon meet in person so you can connect the dots. If you don't you will set yourself up for disappointment. Yes, there might be exceptions, but I've seen this time and again, both with myself and with others...

N-Man: You could apply these rules to the business world or sales and do very, very well!

[Rufblackbird]

Originally Posted by cantdrv55

I'm not sure if you've met her. She is sister-in-law number 2 of 4. She moved from HI to CA a couple of years ago. When you can come by to help me with my engine install, I'll be sure to invite her over so you an report back to the Pelicans if my assessment of her is accurate.

oooh i can help with engine install...

and can bring my roommate/good friend, who moved with me and the g/f from HI to CA this past Jan. He's a bit younger than her (~12 years) but usually gets along better with older women....

[Moses]

Originally Posted by The Gaijin

N-Man: You could apply these rules to the business world or sales and do very, very well!

The business of romance is sales.

[porsche4life]

Originally Posted by Moses

The business of romance is sales.

Damn theres my problem... I am ****ty salesman...

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by Joeaksa

Surprised that no one has mentioned "www.pof.com" ... Plenty of Fish is the largest FREE dating site on the Internet and a very good one.

Have met several ladies from POF and for the most part they were nice. Tell her to take a look here before spending money on a site.

Joe A

I agree with Joe, did eharmony, ratio of women to men is high so I liked that, got a bunch of dates from there but no home runs. A lot of looky loos too... ladies that just want a pen pall... WTF... why are you on a dating site if you don't want to go out on a date?

Match.com is a joke... most of the women are gold diggers... if you do not have a six digit income they will not be interested.

POF was the best, lots of local down to earth ladies looking for a date... and free.

YMMV

PS Met my fiance through mutual friends

[Moses]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Match.com is a joke... most of the women are gold diggers... if you do not have a six digit income they will not be interested.

And what else would they be looking for? ... Love? Stop! You're killing me!!!!

[rammstein]

Sounds like my sister in law, except she hasn't been married.

She should play all the bases, not just the dating sites.

She should get involved in a few organizations that she likes. Does she have a dog? The dog park seems like a hotbed for meeting people. If I am on the street, women don't talk to me. But if I am out there with my dogs, they invite me to their apartments for play dates with their dog. No kidding. (If only I knew about this prior to marriage). Maybe she could join a softball team or go to some autocrosses, I dunno... just get out there.

I'm suprised people aren't still asking for pictures.

[cantdrv55]

Originally Posted by Moses

And what else would they be looking for? ... Love? Stop! You're killing me!!!!

lol, seriously though, SIL is looking for a mate, not a sugar daddy. When she started searching through the profiles on Match, her salary requirement was $50 -$75k only. Not looking for a sugar daddy.

[cantdrv55]

Originally Posted by svandamme

so no pics, ok, that's fine

but is she a good cook?
ironing?
cleaning?
loaded with cash?

Good cook? Yes, of ethnic dishes.
Ironing/cleaning? Neat freak so, yes.
Loaded w/cash? No, but not in debt either. Trying to buy a house in NorCal on a single person's salary. Even in this market, houses in desirable areas still cost way more.

[325i/1993]

Can you let her PM me..lol....who knows, you'll never know she's my soul mate. were on the same age bracket.

[Moses]

Originally Posted by cantdrv55

lol, seriously though, SIL is looking for a mate, not a sugar daddy. When she started searching through the profiles on Match, her salary requirement was $50 -$75k only. Not looking for a sugar daddy.

Based on that alone, she's a catch. Seriously.

[nostatic]

You can read between the lines (and sometimes just the lines) and tell who is looking for money. There are a lot of women that aren't that interested in money. Many of the ones I met just wanted a guy who wasn't a jerk and was vaguely interesting.

Well, that let's out most of PPOT

[red-beard]

Can someone dig up the thread by the girl/gold-diggerl in NYC who came on the forums to find a sugar daddy.

[cantdrv55]

Sis-in-law update

She's on her very first real date tonight with a guy from Match.com. My wife bought her a one month membership to eHarmony first but none of the guys there appealed to her so, on her own, she signed up with match. Within a couple of days, her email was getting full and she said she was "winked at" several times. Great for her ego.

Anyway, I hope dating goes well for her and that she finds her man. The guy she's out with tonight, local HS principal, was on her like white on rice with the emails and phone calls.

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by cantdrv55

She's had such bad luck with guys, I feel bad for her. Not been her perky self for some time now, even depressed lately. I think I've got her convinced that she should try online dating sites as she's not had luck on her own. She's a little too old for the club scene, the guys at her church are taken, no romantic prospects at work and the fellas at 24 Hr Fitness are too agressive and sleazy.

Guys, if you were single and in your forties or fifties, would you only be looking for hotties in their twenties and thirties? She's convinced her age is the limiting factor though she really doesn't look her 49 years. She's really cute, fit, nice body but just kinda short (4'11") even for a Pacific Islander/Asian.

How's Match.com? Is it safe? Is it expensive? Is there some sort of guarantee of how many dates she can find within a reasonable time frame?

Keep her away from guys like me.

I tried match.com way back when, like 7-8 years ago. The chicks i met were ugly. I would sum it up as, "it sucked."

Try tagged.com. It's free. I meet tons of women on there. Public profile, they come out of the woodwork. It's really amazing. Practically catch and release.

It operates under the guise of a social networking site, but it's a meet market.

[Heel n Toe]

L O L @ "catch and release."

Bill, that engendered a mental image of you on one of those fishing shows pulling mermaids out of a murky Georgia lake.

"I got one!!!!"

"Hello, handsome."

"Get in the boat."

"I got another one!"

"Hey there, big boy."

"Gimme my lure back and get outta here."

[m21sniper]

Bah, i'd hold the other one for my good buddy John.

[Heel n Toe]

Heh heh... thanks for lookin' out for me, but I pulled a delicious mermaid into the boat a few years back, and she's definitely a keeper.