Imitating Tim Hancock

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by legion

I'm just trying to get her to make rational arguments, rather than throw everything out she can think of and see what sticks.

Rational arguments with a woman? How long have you been married?

[legion]

Why? Because I'm trying to get to the root of what she likes and dislikes. I know pizza delivery has nothing to do with it. I want her to tell me what, exactly, she doesn't like about the house and why. Maybe it's something that can be easily remedied. Maybe not and I can use what I learn to rule out similar houses. What she is giving me are random symptoms of her dislike, not the reasons driving it.

[notfarnow]

Originally Posted by legion

... I'm trying to get to the root of what she likes and dislikes...
...I want her to tell me what, exactly, she doesn't like about the house and why....
...What she is giving me are random symptoms of her dislike, not the reasons driving it....

Let's see...

Originally Posted by legion

She thinks it's too far from civilization. She also wants to live in a neighborhood. This house sits in a small, unincorporated town called Bentown, that consists of a whopping six houses.

Originally Posted by legion

... she loved a house with an identical layout that was equally dated IN TOWN.

It kinda works like this:

[legion]

Jake, there were two hours of arguing between the "no pizza delivery" and the actual, concrete reasons. Just because they were posted in a different order doesn't mean they happened that way.

[legion]

Oh, and the "flower boxes" and "exotic gardens" gives me an idea. She LOVES to grow stuff. If I point that out, maybe the idea will grow over time. Probably not though.

[notfarnow]

Originally Posted by legion

Jake, there were two hours of arguing between the "no pizza delivery" and the actual, concrete reasons. Just because they were posted in a different order doesn't mean they happened that way.

Oh I know.

The hard part is beating yourself up trying to find "rational" reasons for her likes & dislikes. The only justification she needs is that she doesn't like being that far out. And you're right... it's not about pizza, or the commute, or anything "practical". Some people just don't like being that far out.

Keep in mind that your reasons for wanting to be in the outskirts is no more rational, nor would you be able to justify it in "practical" terms.

If I were your agent, I'd be trying to find something that is in a great neighborhood that your wife would like, but with lots of space and privacy so you can do whatever you want without feeling like you're in a fishbowl. Something that's solid and roomy, but might need cosmetic updating to keep the price low.

[Hugh R]

Chris, did you actually use the words "rational" and "wife" in the same sentence?

Keep looking for a house in town where she can have a garden.

My wife felt isolated when we moved to our current house. Why? because we moved one mile from our old house with five feet to the fence line to a house with 300 feet to the closest neighbor. Now she likes it very much.

[Tim Hancock]

My wife luckily likes living where we do. That said, I would have a hard time staying married to a woman who demanded that we live in an urban cage.

You will regret it if you miss this chance at freedom.



Just think of the freedom you are missing.

[Superman]

This story is a familiar one. And nearly hilarious, except that my friend Rick is suffering from it today. Women want a LARGE doll house with a huge kitchen, fireplace, shuttered windows, picket fence, with neighbors on all sides. Men want a bed that's out of the rain, on a half-section property with a HUGE shop and no neighbors in sight.

[911Rob]

LAND baby! Can't go wrong with LAND!

I like your thinking; so you got her to marry you, now get her to move where you want; how hard could that be?

I live on 7.5 acres and love it; you will too.

Good luck

[legion]

Last night's discussion centered on "how long would we have to live there before we'd move if I didn't like it". I threw out 5 years. She didn't like that. My reasoning was that would be enough time to start making major improvements to the property.

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by Superman

This story is a familiar one. And nearly hilarious, except that my friend Rick is suffering from it today. Women want a LARGE doll house with a huge kitchen, fireplace, shuttered windows, picket fence, with neighbors on all sides. Men want a bed that's out of the rain, on a half-section property with a HUGE shop and no neighbors in sight.

Hmm, that sounds about right. Need to add a runway but thats not far from what we are working on right now!



The runway is running from right to left about 200 yards from where this pic was taken. Most everything in the pic from the road (100 yards on the far side of the house) back to this mountain is ours. Five acres now but trying to expand it to 20 acres.

[legion]

Well, the wife decided to talk to some friends who grew up on local farms. She says that "they’ve put some of my fears to rest". Not sure what that means.

[jyl]

Do you and she have communications issues? Not a dig, actually a question.

[legion]

No more than any other husband and wife. As a rule, we never go to bed angry with each other and we generally work out any miscommunication within a few hours. This is one of those extremely rare situations where it took talking out the issue over a few days. At this point, she feels better because I am actively listening to her concerns (and I think she is phrasing them better rather than just giving me feelings). I feel better because she is allowing me to research what it would mean to live in a house like that. (Things like how much to fill the propane tank and how often. Would the heat still work if the power went out? How to take care of a well and a septic system? How much does garbage pick up cost?)

This thread was meant to be fun. I over-reported on some of the drama and mostly left out the dry, boring stuff where we agreed. Try not to read too much into it.

[jyl]

OK.

Well, I think that house and property would be damn cool, and IIRC I hated your first dream house.

You could do a lot with that spread. Not just the garage and guns stuff, but healthy home-grown veggies, fresh-laid eggs, fruit trees, flowers, tons of room for kids to run and play and build forts (you'd fence the land of course) and grow up active rather than couch potatoes. I'd put in a greenhouse given your climate, not just for the veg but also for the hot tub and/or swimming pool. Tennis court, basketball court, in winter ice rink. Damn - it could be a veritable funland. From my postage-stamp in the city, I send envy your way.

[legion]

ABORT!!!

ABORT!!!

She said the word I've been dreading......

"Horse."

[notfarnow]

Originally Posted by legion

ABORT!!!

ABORT!!!

She said the word I've been dreading......

"Horse."

Too late!

SOLD!

which office should I fax my referral forms to?

[Joeaksa]

You get the good with the bad Chris.... you get what you want and so does she.

Enjoy country life, you will never turn back once you get into it.

Joe A

[legion]

We've still got to sell our house, then make an offer. There are no guarantees that our house will sell before this one, or that our offer will be accepted.

We have a few people coming by this week.