My bloods boiling! Need some advice. - Page 5

MotoSook · 07:34 PM

Nevermind over arming yourself at this point. In the situation any weapon would likely have been out of reach or worst used against you or your wife. I'm sorry this has happened to you (and your wife). I can imagine the rage you must feel. I recommend you think about getting your wife into one of those extreme self defense classes. The kind where they teach them to act out in extreme rage against their attacker kicking, screaming, clawing, etc. It will better prepare her and probably take away some of her fear. They may also have students who were also victims, which may help you wife feel less alone. You have to get your wife back, back from constant fear. That should be your #1 priority now. Any permanent mental damage may affect your relationship. Get her some help now.

We can talk about mean dogs and more fire power, but unless you are prepared to (and can) take a life with you bare hands not a lot would have changed in the seconds or minutes that the incident occured in. You saved you wife from major injury and you are both alive.

Superman · 09-02-2010, 07:33 PM

I only read the first page but gotta say.....incredible restraint. Unless I miss my guess, the
"restraint" chapter of this story is over. This guy pulls a stunt like this again, and he exits the house horizontally.

Danny_Ocean · 09-02-2010, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soukus

We can talk about mean dogs and more fire power, but unless you are prepared to (and can) take a life with you bare hands not a lot would have changed in the seconds or minutes that the incident occured in. You saved you wife from major injury and you are both alive.

Without hesitation...without blinking...without another breath, if I heard my spouse screaming and found some dude on top of/thrashing her, I would shoot until he stopped moving. No doubt in my mind. None whatsoever.

MotoSook · 07:41 PM

I understand what you mean Danny, but Vin ran upstairs to find his wife amidst an attack. Unless he was packing, a gun was the last thing on his mind. First thing: get the guy off his wife....not run for his gun. Hence if he is not prepared to kill with his bare hands, a weapon was irrelevant. A few seconds or a minute delay and his wife may have been injured seriously. A maniac slamming her head on the floor...one reacts to stop it. He did well.

Danny_Ocean · 09-02-2010, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soukus

I understand what you mean Danny, but Vin ran upstairs to find his wife amidst an attack. Unless he was packing a gun was the last thing on his mind. First thing: get the guy off his wife....not run for his gun. Hence if he is not prepared to kill with his bare hands, a weapon was irrelevant. A few seconds or a minute delay and his wife may have been injured seriously. A maniac slamming her head in the floor...one reacts to stop it. He did well.

My gun is in my back pocket as I type.

MotoSook · 09-02-2010, 07:43 PM

Not everyone does this. I find nothing wrong with it though.

Quote:

Quote de Soukus

I understand what you mean Danny, but Vin ran upstairs to find his wife amidst an attack. Unless he was packing a gun was the last thing on his mind. First thing: get the guy off his wife....not run for his gun. Hence if he is not prepared to kill with his bare hands, a weapon was irrelevant. A few seconds or a minute delay and his wife may have been injured seriously. A maniac slamming her head in the floor...one reacts to stop it. He did well.

My gun is in my back pocket as I type.

Danny_Ocean · 09-02-2010, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soukus

Not everyone does this.

I'm not normal. Ask anyone who knows me. Also, ask anyone who knows me who they would like to have with them if something went wrong. Two handguns and tear-gas inside my vehicle. Two handguns, a rifle and a shotgun within reach inside the home. Two outswing steel doors with reinforced Medeco double-tumbler locks in front. 6th floor, so no other access from the back (and I live in a quiet "retirement" community).

But enough about me. VINMAN needs to secure his home, regardless of how "safe" the hood is and raise holy f#$kin hell at city hall until this guy is dealt with properly.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

If they continue to do nothing, you need to go to the county prosecutor or state AG and get this judge looked at.

VINMAN · 09-03-2010, 04:02 AM

First of all, I cant thank everyone on here enough for all the support, kind words and advice.. Thats what I love about this place. Even though most of us have never met eachother, we still look after eachother.

Past two days have been rough. Its getting a little better. My wifes still a nervous wreck. She jumps at every little sound, is constantly looking out the windows. Thats gonna take a long time to work itself out. As far as protecting myself and my family, I gotta limit what I say on here. But anyone who is familiar with me, knows I totally have that area covered. Case closed.

A this point, he is locked up in a hospital psych ward. For how long I dont know. What is comforting is knowing he is going to be charged with B&E, assault and criminal mischief. Which carries a 5-10 yr. sentence. Now what has me raging again is the fact that the cops told me last night, that there is a very good chance that the judge will only sentence him to rehab, due to the fact that the crme was commited under the influence of drugs.

Quote:Soukus
I understand what you mean Danny, but Vin ran upstairs to find his wife amidst an attack. Unless he was packing, a gun was the last thing on his mind. First thing: get the guy off his wife....not run for his gun. Hence if he is not prepared to kill with his bare hands, a weapon was irrelevant. A few seconds or a minute delay and his wife may have been injured seriously. A maniac slamming her head on the floor...one reacts to stop it.

Souk, I couldnt have said it any better. It happened so fast, I didnt have the time to go get something. My only thought was to get him off and away from her. The second I had him off her, I was screaming for her to get out of the house. I wanted her as far away as possible.

javadog · 09-03-2010, 04:13 AM

I am really sorry for what happened to your wife. You showed a lot more retraint than I would have and, at least on some level, you should be commended for it. The things you plan to do with the neighborhood are good but that's not enough.

Quote:

Originally Posted by VINMAN

No both front doors were closed. But like Flatbutt said, this is not the kind of neighborhood were people usually have to keep their doors locked when they are home.

This is the first problem. The world has changed and locking the doors is just good common sense. Making your house a challenge to enter is what I'd call the first line of defense.

Make sure all of your doors (and locks) are stout enough to prevent him from entering that way and keep them locked, 24/7. Get a monitored alarm system, if you don't have one, and use it. Make sure said system has a panic button, in which case cops will be dispatched immediately. Make sure you have enough keypads scattered around so that access to one is always quick and easy. Have a safe room in the house, that can't be accessed by the bad guys. Get 2 dogs, not just one.

The rest I won't mention on an internet forum but I hope you get my drift.

JR

widgeon13 · 09-03-2010, 04:26 AM

Make certain that the court advises you of his status and physical location. See about getting a restraining order so he has to stay at a defined distance from your home. Hope the situation gets better very soon.

flatbutt · 09-03-2010, 04:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by javadog

I am really sorry for what happened to your wife. You showed a lot more retraint than I would have and, at least on some level, you should be commended for it. The things you plan to do with the neighborhood are good but that's not enough.

This is the first problem. The world has changed and locking the doors is just good common sense. Making your house a challenge to enter is what I'd call the first line of defense.

Make sure all of your doors (and locks) are stout enough to prevent him from entering that way and keep them locked, 24/7. Get a monitored alarm system, if you don't have one, and use it. Make sure said system has a panic button, in which case cops will be dispatched immediately. Make sure you have enough keypads scattered around so that access to one is always quick and easy. Have a safe room in the house, that can't be accessed by the bad guys. Get 2 dogs, not just one.

The rest I won't mention on an internet forum but I hope you get my drift.

JR

JR I hear you and I know what you advise makes sense. But this type of reaction, in this case might IMHO make Mrs Vinny feel like a prisoner and could make things worse for her. Sure lock the door. But this poor girl has been badly scared perhaps even scarred. Being attacked in your home sux, turning your home into a prison sux even more. Vinny and I live in neighborhoods that have been largely safe. One doosh drain put a blemish on that safety. So I've been locking my door and now have spoons in more than one place. But I can't live like a prisoner in my own home.

javadog · 09-03-2010, 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flatbutt

....this type of reaction, in this case might IMHO make Mrs Vinny feel like a prisoner and could make things worse for her. ....I can't live like a prisoner in my own home.

I don't understand this. I don't feel like a prisoner... I'm free to leave at any time and it takes all of about a half second to twist the lock... Secure doors look just like useless ones. The reinforcements aren't something you'd see. Ditto for the alarm system; it's pretty invisible.

I do feel more secure, in that I don't have to keep looking over my shoulder or worrying about every little noise. The dogs alert us to anybody within 50 feet of my house, well before they get to the door.

If I were the Vinman, I'd ask the wife how she felt about it. Women spend their entire lives concerned about their safety, whether they have faced a problem like this, or not. Men don't usually understand this, as we neither think like a woman nor feel threatened by strangers.

JR

stomachmonkey · 09-03-2010, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flatbutt

JR I hear you and I know what you advise makes sense. But this type of reaction, in this case might IMHO make Mrs Vinny feel like a prisoner and could make things worse for her. Sure lock the door. But this poor girl has been badly scared perhaps even scarred. Being attacked in your home sux, turning your home into a prison sux even more. Vinny and I live in neighborhoods that have been largely safe. One doosh drain put a blemish on that safety. So I've been locking my door and now have spoons in more than one place. But I can't live like a prisoner in my own home.

It's not turning it into a prison. You wear a seatbelt cause it makes sense right?

Locking a door as you close it takes no more time than simply closing it.

Alarm pads have quick 2 touch activation, again takes not time.

My garage door panels have a button to lock them, disables the use of a remote from outside.

I'm in between dogs right now so I keep my house buttoned up.

I do not feel like a prisoner, if anything I feel much more comfortable knowing that on the slight chance that something happens I have bought a little extra warning/time to deal with it.

The Gaijin · 09-03-2010, 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VINMAN

...Now what has me raging again is the fact that the cops told me last night, that there is a very good chance that the judge will only sentence him to rehab, due to the fact that the crme was committed under the influence of drugs.

I mentioned what happened to the police officer in the family - and this is exactly what he said. Under the influence of drugs - the courts will not look at an assault or break-in, but rather as part of this psychotic episode.

If you are truly mentally ill, that may be one thing - smoking some pot laced with something, and you should be held accountable for all your actions. Also, apparently - in our area there was a load of this weed going around - and the police saw a number of crazy incidents..

VINMAN · 09-03-2010, 05:28 AM

This is second incident like this with him in a month. Last time he tossed himself through his own window. The stuff he was smokin is called Salvia, it a legal herb that you can buy anywhere, so they couldnt even charge him with possesion. The stuff is bad probaly worse then LSD, but our legislators refuse to make it illegal. You can practically buy it in any 7-11.

lane912 · 09-03-2010, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danny_Ocean

Time to move:

As of the 28th of May, 2010, 31 States have some form of Castle Doctrine and/or Stand Your Ground law. Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, California, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia and Wyoming have adopted Castle Doctrine statutes, and other states (Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Washington) are currently considering "Stand Your Ground" laws of their own.

That being said, not sure you can't shoot someone who bursts into your house and physically attacks you/spouse, regardless of where you reside.

in Oregon, as i see how the law reads and aplying this situation to it deadly force could have been used.
161.209 Use of physical force in defense of a person. Except as provided in ORS 161.215 and 161.219, a person is justified in using physical force upon another person for self-defense or to defend a third person from what the person reasonably believes to be the use or imminent use of unlawful physical force, and the person may use a degree of force which the person reasonably believes to be necessary for the purpose. [1971 c.743 §22]

161.210 [Repealed by 1971 c.743 §432]

161.215 Limitations on use of physical force in defense of a person. Notwithstanding ORS 161.209, a person is not justified in using physical force upon another person if:

(1) With intent to cause physical injury or death to another person, the person provokes the use of unlawful physical force by that person; or

(2) The person is the initial aggressor, except that the use of physical force upon another person under such circumstances is justifiable if the person withdraws from the encounter and effectively communicates to the other person the intent to do so, but the latter nevertheless continues or threatens to continue the use of unlawful physical force; or

(3) The physical force involved is the product of a combat by agreement not specifically authorized by law. [1971 c.743 §24]

161.219 Limitations on use of deadly physical force in defense of a person. Notwithstanding the provisions of ORS 161.209, a person is not justified in using deadly physical force upon another person unless the person reasonably believes that the other person is:

(1) Committing or attempting to commit a felony involving the use or threatened imminent use of physical force against a person; or

(2) Committing or attempting to commit a burglary in a dwelling; or

(3) Using or about to use unlawful deadly physical force against a person. [1971 c.743 §23]

VINMAN · 09-03-2010, 05:56 AM

Jerz is a " duty to retreat" state. Not "Castle Doctrine"

Rikao4 · 09-03-2010, 06:04 AM

what you will do the next time is moot..
guys process this differently..
you the 'defender' can feel good about saving her...
she was plain helpless..
you need to change that..
my lady was like that..
told her..that's not the real world..
she shoots, and has her 2nd Karate tourney tomm.
she's more confident..
your lady needs to feel the same..

Rika

Taz's Master · 09-03-2010, 06:11 AM

Vinny, once things cool down, I would give serious consideration to upgrading your canine protection status. Consider what a big protective dog would do to your property and its impact on the neighborhood, but, especially if your wife has anxiety over being at home alone, consider the the therapeutic qualities of the presence of a large dog. If you decide to go this route, I'd have her very involved with selecting the breed, individual dog, and its training, but you'd need to be involved as well. You can be willing and able to eliminate a threat via deadly force, but unless she is, weapons and your ability to protect her are completely ineffective when you aren't home. And considering the response of the police, I'm not sure she would or should have much confidence in an alarm's effectiveness.

In any case, that kind of violation is no fun to consider, and I do hope the resolution is one that provides you and your family with peace of mind.