Someone recently called me a Dry Drunk - Page 3

Por_sha911 · Por_sha911's Garage

It is easy for someone to become a fanatic about something that is life-changing for them. AA has saved many people from the worst things of life and probably death. Its probably better to be a fanatic about AA or God than a football team or brand of motor oil.
I have friends who have been sponsors for decades and they know that I have not had a drink since 1981

(quit drinking half a bottle of gin many Friday and Saturday nights after getting saved and never went back). The wife of this couple invited me to present her 21st birthday chip at a meeting. I had never been to an AA meeting but I felt it was an honor and I attended. If the meetings are helping then what's the problem? You do what it takes...

LWJ · 09-08-2010, 05:36 PM

For perspective, I have met Herr Oberst in person once or twice. He might not remember me but there was a fun drive one Sunday (I have a gold SC) and maybe once at the pub. Nice guy. Mellow. Thoughtful. No swagger, or self-hatred evident. Not the personality that I would call an addict, based on my very limited experiences. I generally thought you were a pretty cool guy.

For perspective, virtually all my High School buddies ARE drunks. And they seem to have the swagger / self hatred thing going to some degree.

I still call BS on the Dry Drunk. You are what you are. And you don't drink. Congrats!

gassy · 05:50 PM

As of today, I haven't had a drink in 28 months. Some of you know I went through rehab. They pushed AA big time but it wasn't for me. I remember what my life was like when I hit rock bottom. That's all the higher power I need. Those memories.
c

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

Congrats on staying sober. Whatever it takes to get you through the night.

AA is a tool, and it works for some, not for others. I went for awhile (SO was in it) and it helped me get perspective. But I haven't been to a meeting in maybe 15 years. Then again, I have an occasional cocktail, as booze wasn't my demon.

As for the "swagger", some of the sweetest people I've known were raging addicts. There isn't really a single outward personality type associated with addiction.

Racerbvd · Racerbvd's Garage

I didn't realize how many former drinkers we had here..

widgeon13 · 09-08-2010, 05:59 PM

We have enough reformed drinkers here to start our own Pelican's anonymous.

Zeke · 09-08-2010, 06:27 PM

Sorry, but AA to me is as oppressive as the BBB. Even MADD is on my radar, but I can't say they don't have the right.

Just leave me out of the loop.

Racerbvd · Racerbvd's Garage

My Grandfather was a reformed alcoholic and I have a box of his chips, they were very important to him and one of my friends is a 33 year member, just moved here from Vegas and one of the 1st places he wanted to find out was the AA meeting spots. Me, it just took my Doc telling me that with my current health issues, family history of heart disease that I might want to stop drinking for a while, so I did...

Congrats Herr Oberst, I'll share an ice water with you anytime..

herr_oberst · 09-08-2010, 06:35 PM

Larry, of course I remember you. In fact, I'll be at the Taproom tomorrow night, with the rest of the ORPCA gang, godwillin'andthecreekdontrise.
As for those nice things you said about me, well, right back at you. And I have some other nice things that you can say about me, if you run out. :-)

And to reiterate, I don't think anyone was calling me out, I think she was parroting a term that AA uses to describe folks who don't imbibe any longer without going thru the officially sanctioned program.

And Byron, right back atcha, too. I'd love to sit down and hear your story someday. Something tells me you've lived a life. :-)

Zeke · 09-08-2010, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by widgeon13

We have enough reformed drinkers here to start our own Pelican's anonymous.

Wouldn't be so anonymous.

But, then again, neither is AA. They do brag a little.

herr_oberst · 09-08-2010, 07:21 PM

Pelicans Preposterous?

stomachmonkey · 09-08-2010, 08:09 PM

Hey, at least she did not call you a Dry Hump.

1979 930 · 1979 930's Garage

Most of the time what I do not like in other poeple, is the thing i dislike about myself!!!
Tell her that the next time you see her.
Coming up on 10 years

campbellcj · 09-08-2010, 09:45 PM

I have no direct experience with AA, and don't intend to, but from what I have heard and read, the 'program' is largely focused on revisiting and analyzing the past, and on anticipation of inevitable future failure. The concept of going to meetings for eternity is basically an acknowledgment that you are not confident in yourself and plan to change your mind about not drinking at some point, and hope that someone will be willing and able to knock sense into you when the day comes. That's silly - YOU are the only one in control of your own actions, and IMO are better off focusing on YOUR future in a positive sense and not constantly dwelling on past behaviors that you have already changed for the better.

Congrats to everyone here who's been successful in making their desired life changes, however you pulled it off. I quit drinking almost a year ago.

Rad Hatter · 09-08-2010, 11:26 PM

Congrats on staying sober.

AA worked for me 10 years on 21 August. There’s no doubt that when AA works, it can be transformative. To begin with, there is evidence that a big part of AA’s effectiveness may have nothing to do with the actual steps. It may derive from something more fundamental: the power of the group.

One thing is certain, though: AA doesn’t work for everybody. In fact, it doesn’t work for the vast majority of people who try it.

Hang in there ~

Macroni · Macroni's Garage

From your posts it appears this was done in a non-malicious manner. It also appears it caught you off guard. Observations can be tricky.... how do you react to them? Is there truth? I do not know you.

I am very familiar w/ the concept of a dry drunk or the other sideways expressions of stress or anxiety that we try to mask with forms of relief. One could state I have an unhealthy fixation on P-Cars and related websites.

It was an observation. The source was one in which you judged needed to be heeded. Next steps in my opinion would be a quiet reconciliation with yourself over the merits. While we can ask opinions it is a personal journey.

widgeon13 · 09-09-2010, 03:22 AM

Hi, my name is Widge and I'm a Porschaholic.

Por_sha911 · Por_sha911's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by widgeon13

Hi, my name is Widge and I'm a Porschaholic.

Umm, that is the title under my user name except I prefer to spell Porsche as the good doctor did with an "e".

widgeon13 · 09-09-2010, 02:32 PM

Sorry about that, never noticed that.

Quote:

Quote de widgeon13

Hi, my name is Widge and I'm a Porschaholic.

Umm, that is the title under my user name except I prefer to spell Porsche as the good doctor did with an "e".

sailchef · sailchef's Garage

Working in restaurants for 30 years I didn't have to go any further than the other side of the kitchen for a drink. I drank like a fish. Partied until there was no one left standing.

2 cars trashed, 1 boat (1965 25ft Owens) sunk (ran aground on some rocks), lawyers fees that would have made a nice retirement fund, 3 DUI's, no close friends to speak of, major personality swings / mood shifts like an earthquake.

I could go on but I think you get the picture.

One day I made the decision to quit drinking. Actually, my lawyer sugested it, and, after they wired an Ignition Interlock Device into my Porsche I kinda thought I would give it a try.

Off I went to the mandatory AA meeting.That place was not for me. I left the meeting and went cold turkey. Never looked back.

Spent a month waking up in cold sweet, and a year remembering all the really stupid stuff that I had done.

Its been 9 years since I quit.