Divorce strategies....bringing an unrealistic STBX to the table

[ODDJOB UNO]

Originally Posted by genrex

OJU, please read the original post again.

The negotiating table does not necessarily = 50/50, and if assets change during the marriage, things get pretty complicated.

You might try to be a bit less succinct.

genrex, have you been in a dee-vorce?


as far as being SUCCINCT, yes i am using "compact phrase expressions and NOT wasting words."



lets use this as an example. hubby and wifey get married.


each has a trust or inheritance. they are in place before marriage. they REMAIN that way after the marriage is KAPUTZEN!


now hubby gets big raise and corner office, thats community property. and thats the BUZZWORD!


just about all 50 states have adopted "community property" dee-vorce laws.


it saves alot of headaches on all sides of WWIII.


hubby and wifey have (2) kids. 99.999999% of the time there will be JOINT CUSTODY unless what i mentioned before and it is proven beyond a shadow of a doubt by the courts re: drug alcohol abuse, insanity(legally declared), one party is in jail or prison, or if the kids state they want to live with one parent over the other(this is the "carrot game" evidenced by a sudden amount of gifts showered on kids to sway their decision-ask me how i know).


alimony is just about a forgotten aftermath of the legal process. unless wifey does not work and gets majority of custody of kids. which as i stated is very rare one parent gets sole custody.



now heres the deal from OJU 's experience that led to a 3.5 year dee-vorce from hell w/2 kids.


1) the time for spy vs. spy is ONLY when you are going for full custody of kids and the other spouse is a TRAIN WRECK and the kids are in imminant danger like mine were.

2) the only other time its spy vs spy if you think spousey is cheating. and if you have THUNKED IT.............it more than likely IS happening and it doesnt take alot of rocket science nor time for a P.I. to find out.



now with my "prozac/drunk pyscho beeatch from hell ex", my kids were in imminent danger.



that was evidenced and proven when she got:


1) a .254 BAC AGGRAVATED DUI w/injuries.............the worst aside from killing someone drunk.

2) poss of pot/paraphanalia still a felony for just (1) seed here

3) no insurance-i saw the train wreck coming and canceled it.

4) speed unreasonable and imprudent-NO DUH! rear ended 69 yr old horsey lady stopped at red light at over 75MPH and broke her back in a new range rover. my 99 GMC Z7-1 was TOTALED . thank god the kids were not there.

5) failure to control vehicle-DUH

6)speeding

7) failure to control vehicle.



now i went up against (1) of the TOP 10 law firms here w/my lil ol one man band attorney who at that time had been practicing family law for 21 years.


i handed him ALL the police reports by 1030am the following morning and the wreck happened at 1115pm the night before. i was alerted by a cop friend of mine that the wreck had occurred and a friend of mine who was an insurance attorney had access to the tow yard where we took pictures of vehicles and all the contents of them. zig zag papers, beer cans everywhere blah blah.


when i handed that to my attorney he faxed it over to the BIGGEST AZZHOLE ATTORNEY on the planet who about keeled over dead from shock and AWE!


yes the white flag of surrender went up and i got everything i wanted and then some.



more fun than i could stand.



looking back.................well i dont very often. its all GOOD NOW and NORMAL! and we like NORMAL cuz we HATE DRAMA!



12 years ago i paid $280 and hour for my attorney.



good luck

[red-beard]

Paging counselor Jim. Any additional info?

[Dueller]

OJU....I must correct you a bit. The majority of states are not community property, particularly with short term marriages. Many have gone to "equitable distribution" , i.e., courts divide based on each parties economic and non-economic contributions. Equitable does not mean equal necessarily, However, even under equitable distribution you can end up with a 50/50 split, to wit: 25 yrear marriage, wife puts hubby thru med school, raises the kids, maintains the home front, and then is traded in for a young hot nurse.

FWIW, arid-zony was one of the pioneering states that essentially viewed divorce as nothing more than a judicial dissolution of a contractual relationship and not get into marital fault, etc.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by Dueller

25 yrear marriage, wife puts hubby thru med school, raises the kids, maintains the home front, and then is traded in for young hot nurses.
.

fixed it for ya

[carambola]

i guess you would have to go to the table with want you want, what your goals are. then hire a bulldog of a lawyer that you can trade services with and spend her into the ground. then entertain thoughts of going to the table. i wouldn't rush into it just to get it over with, but i do understand that you want this over with. any chance you have a claim on her establishment, i bet that light a fire under her rear.

[Rick Lee]

A total pitbull of a divorce lawyer who used to post here years ago is marcesq. He doesn't post anymore and I think he only works in VA. But he is THE man when it comes to this stuff. You might be able to PM him or I can send you his contact info. Good buddy and a good man.

[chuckr]

contact a good tax atty and stop making all or any monthly payments !

[Dueller]

Just for the record guyd my divorce has a few minor details to be ironed out. I asking for a client that is in a real crack; i.e. wife has him over a barrell and is engaging in I'm not giving you a Just need some new ideas.

[carambola]

pic or it didn't happen

[syncroid]

Originally Posted by Dueller

Just for the record guyd my divorce has a few minor details to be ironed out. I asking for a client that is in a real crack; i.e. wife has him over a barrell and is engaging in I'm not giving you a Just need some new ideas.

Am I the only one that can't make sense of this? Dueller, your mind must be spinning bro.

[Crowbob]

Translation:

Just for the record, guys, my divorce has a few minor details to be ironed out. I was asking for a client that is in a real crack, i.e., his wife has him over a barrel and is engaging in, "I'm not giving you a....". [I] just need some new ideas.

I think.

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by Dueller

Just for the record guyd my divorce has a few minor details to be ironed out. I asking for a client that is in a real crack; i.e. wife has him over a barrell and is engaging in I'm not giving you a Just need some new ideas.

In other words, the question in your OP is not about you and your STBX? I think everyone assumed it was.

[DanielDudley]

If the soon to be ex is a real special case, some people hire PIs.

[porsche4life]

Is this sorta like asking about the clap "for a friend" or buying needles "for a friend"?