Work related question regarding spouse

[Zeke]

My wife has the typical job title of "Executive Assistant." However, she works in a small satellite office 2/3rds across the country from corporate. Did I say a small office? She runs the place. It's her and only her.

She does have a boss, a former vice president who lives 2000 miles away, is on contract instead of being an employee, telecommutes and shows up for a week every 6 or so.

My wife does the usual plus she's in charge of matters relating to the fire system in a huge warehouse, Homeland Security issues and environmental controls. Not to mention a plethora of other niggling stuff related to handling 2 berths at the port, ships and all.

The problem is with other women in the company none of which are closer geographically than corporate. Oh wait, there's one in WA, Seattle I'd guess.

The other EA's have very defined jobs within very defined depts. Out here, it's wear one hat after the next. So, she makes a mistake with the upcoming Christmas gift list. Addresses have to be confirmed and updated each year and sometimes new giftees (sic) added.

An EA working for one of the board of directors slams my wife in a broadcast email to all EA's. This is the EA where the master list ultimately ends up to send to the distributor of the gifts.

Now I say that good leadership criticizes in private and praises in public. I think that's good for moral and makes everyone try for the prize of praise. OTOH, public criticism fosters contempt. It is with this issue that I counsel my wife.

First of all, I tell her that she has many more important responsibilities than any other peer EA and that the others could be jealous (she did get a raise this year that was beyond any other, hopefully that remains private within the company).

Secondly, I tell her that priority is priority. The responsibilities in generating reports for the various agencies that this company deals with on a day to day with month ends and such has to meet the deadlines. Sending out packs of nuts to clients and associates is nice, but back burner stuff when costs can run in the 10's of $1000's per hour at the berth (the electric bill for mainly lighting runs 40K/mo.).

Of course the 40 year veteran EA sitting outside the B of D's office thinks whatever she is assigned is the most important business in the company. She does't get her gift list on time (day late) and in the format she wants (some kind of check box went unnoticed). I say this is a not an issue to be lambasted across company email.

My wife wants to travel 2000 miles and kick the living sch!t out of this woman's ass.

I say there are clever and coy ways.

The question is, how does my wife handle an issue such as this?

(BTW, I could not work in a corporate structure because I'd travel the 2000 miles and kick the woman's ass.)

Hey, this is a good Monday morning muse for you cubical jockeys.

[Tobra]

treat it like water off a duck's back

[Porsche-O-Phile]

It's a paycheck right now.

[stomachmonkey]

Wife and you should ignore it and move on.

Typically these types look for a reaction so they can completely blow it out of proportion.

You are spot on with your public praise/private critique advice. The other EA is wrong/out of line and an idiot but as you know, you can't fix stupid.

Those who know your wife and the other EA will recognize their relevant contributions/worth and will dismiss this matter.

Now I do a have one question, you hope your wifes' additional increase is not made public. How do you know what everyone else got? Would indicate it's already gone viral and very well may be the motivating factor for the public lashing.

[red-beard]

See above. If you can't see you way to seeing above, go to HR. If that won't work, keep quiet and find another job.

[M.D. Holloway]

HR will just peg her as a trouble maker and will backfire. Give it the attention it deserves.

(You could always send the other EA a Christmas gift of a chimp - I hear they make wonderful pets provided they don't form a fancy for cheek meat!)

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

HR is a joke. Either file a complaint, talk to an attorney (good luck finding other work), forget about it, or find another job. Of course, she could tell them she is only doing work that other EAs do and remind them of her status. Bet she got the nice rise because of the extra work she does and the jealousy of the very small person is showing in her comments to Wife.

Another thing is to talk to the other person's boss and let them know of your displeasure and public humiliation (code words to use). Let direct report boss know what is going on at the barest of minimums, using public humiliation as a term.

[Zeke]

Thanks for the advice.

GB, she's not going to complain to the CEO about his EA. That EA also has 30 years on my wife AFA employment with the company goes.

RB, my wife knows others did not get a raise because salaries are frozen. We played another card and asked that her job title be changed and pay increased as a result. That seemed to work. Why? Well, when the local VP boss got cancer 2 years ago and was suddenly out of the office for over 2 months, corporate did not send out a temp. They just let my wife do it all.

Then the local VP was a victim of a home invasion and got shot in the head. He lived and is fully recovered, but he wanted no more to do with CA, so he left keeping his job as a contractor. So, my wife has run the show on site for the better part of 2 years. Her boss keeps up with correspondence and spread sheets from his home office.

So, she does have help. But, the ex local boss never did do detail, so wife does both now as well as meet the fire inspector, the EPA inspector and so on. So, she just told them she was going down the road and they countered with the raise. BTW, it was a double digit (barely) increase. Not bad for 2010.

Monkey, you are correct and I suspect even though she's never met another company EA in person due to the distances, that they all know who the b!tc*s are. I guess it just gets under wife's skin that someone would do this low life stuff. I mean it's not even a back stab, it's up front.

I couldn't work around a bunch of women any more than I could pull a million dollars out of my ass. It's bad enough that she brings this stuff home.

[DanielDudley]

Originally Posted by milt

The question is, how does my wife handle an issue such as this?

Like an adult and a professional. Taking responsibility for being late and not in communication, with a commitment to be in communication if there is ever a problem in the future.

It is always important to understand the chain of command, and be willing to accept your role. It is not always possible to understand the cause of such grievances, but it is always possible to control your response and put it behind you.

Take responsibility and move on. Don't keep touching on it like a sore tooth.

[stomachmonkey]

Here's your problem.

Your wife has no direct supervisor. Bet dollars to donuts that CEO signed off on title and pay increase so his EA most definitely saw the paperwork.

She's been his EA for 30 years, she feels like she is top biotch buy it's possible that your wife now makes more. That's gonna piss her off.

CEO is not going to do anything about her behavior. For 30 years she's been ordering his anniversary flowers and making his dinner reservations. She reminds him if his kids birthdays. She is so integrated into his life that she probably knows his bank account numbers by heart.

Your wife would do well to not piss her off. If their interaction is limited it should not be that hard.

Yes it sucks and should not be that way but that's reality.

This will blow over quickly if you let it.

[Zeke]

Thanks again. She'll get over it, I'm sure. I guess my point to her is that she better not let something slide that is as important as the Homeland Security responsibility that she has been charged with while she makes sure the orders for the holiday gifts are correct.

It'll be a whole new problem if she drops the ball on a fire inspection.

It'll be some serious ass chewing if she messes up the tariffs on a ship full of steel being off loaded. Or that single little Porsche 911 that you bought in Germany and now can't get out of the warehouse because the paperwork is stalled while the nut list is being processed.

It'll be write up time if she somehow does not get reports into the port authority correctly and on time. They collect hundreds of thousands of dollars based on what this small, one woman office does along with the ex VP living near the Mason Dixon Line working from home.

[stomachmonkey]

milt I agree with you 100% but do not underestimate the lunacy of the annual Corp greeting card.

Everyone hates those things except for one person who will inherit it's responsibility.

That person will treat it as the most important thing in the world and no one will raise a word against it cause no one wants to deal with it and again, they just don't care and are also afraid if they make too big a stink that they will inherit it.

Corporate America is strange animal. If you try to approach it with logic and common sense alone it will eat you alive.

[VaSteve]

Originally Posted by Tobra

treat it like water off a duck's back

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

Wife and you should ignore it and move on.

Originally Posted by Groesbeck Hurricane

forget about it,

Originally Posted by DanielDudley

Like an adult and a professional. Taking responsibility for being late and not in communication, with a commitment to be in communication if there is ever a problem in the future.

It is always important to understand the chain of command, and be willing to accept your role. It is not always possible to understand the cause of such grievances, but it is always possible to control your response and put it behind you.

Take responsibility and move on. Don't keep touching on it like a sore tooth.

+1

Be there for her and listen to her griping about it, but tell her to let it go and move along. No idea what the email said, but BFD.... people get *****y all the time (myself included) and sometimes you end up on the wrong end of someone's bad day.

Sounds like your wife has a better job than that woman with no real supervision and a lot to keep busy. Some people can handle that, some need to be managed all the time.

[T77911S]

the lady that sent the email looks like the arsse. the ones that believe she does a bad job want to no matter what they hear, or they only want to hear the bad, the ones that know her and know she does a good job are the only ones that matter.

my wife has had to overcome bad mouthing from the lady she bought the scrapbooking store from. things got very bad and we almost got the police involved. anyway, i told my wife to keep being the wonderful person she is and it will show through all the bad mouthing from "the witch". it has taken time, but there are some of the witches friends that have come around and said she is nothing like what they heard.

tell her to keep doing her job and do it the best she can, she will shine above the other lady.

woman are vicious arent they?

[onewhippedpuppy]

Let the other woman look like a *****, guaranteed everyone on that email is thinking it. I've never seen anyone in business that is more sly, territorial, or vindictive than a female administrative assistant.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Let the other woman look like a *****, guaranteed everyone on that email is thinking it. I've never seen anyone in business that is more sly, territorial, or vindictive than a female administrative assistant.

You have learned well, you have, Young Jedi.

Forget that lesson you shouldn't.

Milt, young Matt is right...people do know. My guess is that there was some serious eye rolling when they read the Heinous Ones email.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Let the other woman look like a *****, guaranteed everyone on that email is thinking it. I've never seen anyone in business that is more sly, territorial, or vindictive than a female administrative assistant.

Originally Posted by Seahawk

You have learned well, you have, Young Jedi.

Forget that lesson you shouldn't.

Milt, young Matt is right...people do know. My guess is that there was some serious eye rolling when they read the Heinous Ones email.

Yep, I think he nailed it. In fact, I heard today that the EA for the CEO is now asking for headshots of everyone that contributed to the gift list project so that they can be featured in a story in the company newsletter.

Talk about meaningless trivia. Meanwhile, my wife is patrolling storm drains so that runoff from the massive paved pier (40 acres) doesn't go into the precious Pacific Ocean.

That's one of the jobs of a supervisor at a port berth. Never a dull moment.

[red-beard]

God forbid water goes into the ocean....

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by red-beard

God forbid water goes into the ocean....

Yep, a whole summer's worth of trucks, fork lifts, trains, longshoremen's vehicles (although they tend to make a lot of money and have new cars and trucks) and yard vehicles leaves a nice sheen on the surface of standing water.

So, they put "donuts" around the drains which are much like the booms used on spills on the water. These absorb the oils and other stuff.

But, that's not the best part. The EPA doesn't want bird droppings to go in the water?? wtf? Well, I guess I should add that the bird guano can be a few inches thick in places.

Still, these are seagulls.

[red-beard]

Will the EPA regulate fish peeing and pooping in the ocean?