How would react if your spouse asked you...

[Hugh R]

Shaun, for a reference point, my 81 y/o MIL lives with us because none of her other off-spring would do schit. The diff is that she has no money, no skills and is 81. This sounds different, they CHOOSE to leave Texas, and move to PA, without jobs, but with obligations.

If it were for a few weeks or a month, sure, I'd even extend that to my crazy cat lady sister if I had too. But they're talking about moving in while they "save" to buy a house. Translation, they live off of fastfreddie while they save to afford the down payment, closing costs, escrow fees, etc. So they want to save to buy a house and they don't even have jobs in PA yet. I see no game plan here except that which is at freddies expense.

[Racerbvd]

Originally Posted by Drdogface

That is funny as hell .... and right on at the same time...just rent a spot for them but only pay their rent for, say, 60 days and make that known. This will save your sanity and your marriage.

Yes, this is as much as I would do, I have let people move in in the past to help them out, never a good out come.. With family who moves in comes their friends and goes your privacy.. I have finally learned, you can't save/help everyone, point them in a direction, but don't enable them..

Your sanity depends on it..

[Bill Douglas]

I still think my idea is best

Engineer a situation where you have a falling out BEFORE they move in and that way you can SAFELY say there is no way this can work.

[Rot 911]

Or you can just lie and tell your wife you think her sister is really hot.

[kach22i]

Living small looms large amid real estate bust
Living small looms large amid real estate bust - Business - U.S. business - Real estate - msnbc.com

[kanadary]

I think Kurt's suggestion is the best.
"Or you can just lie and tell your wife you think her sister is really hot."
that should take care of the situation.

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by kanadary

I think Kurt's suggestion is the best.

So do I.

[cstreit]

Well lots of good and crappy advice here.

Thing I can add is that you've got to talk about it. Talk to your wife, and talk to the sister. Tell them both that it's too many people. Tell them that it can be for X time (6 weeks is pretty reasonable) and after that they have to find an apartment or something else. Why? because 7 people in a small house is too many.

Then at 5 weeks if they haven't made preparations, call the city and report yourself, haha. Technically multi-family dwelling is illegal in most places.

If they are both working, how come they can't rent an apartment there like everyone else?

Why are they moving there? If they both have jobs, why are they leaving? ...and why near you?

I had a BIL that stayed with us for a little while. 4 years. He was a nice guy, I really like him, but he didn't do ***** around the house either. ...but now that he's back on his feet, he spoils my kids and treats them very well, so he made up for it.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by cstreit

Well lots of good and crappy advice here.

Thing I can add is that you've got to talk about it. Talk to your wife, and talk to the sister. Tell them both that it's too many people. Tell them that it can be for X time (6 weeks is pretty reasonable) and after that they have to find an apartment or something else. Why? because 7 people in a small house is too many.

Talk...tell...sounds like a monologue.

Listen, discuss, work together.

[Tim Hancock]

Letting them live with you in my mind is like saying you approve of and therefore support their lifestyle. For me it would be a big hell no.

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by kanadary

I think Kurt's suggestion is the best.
"Or you can just lie and tell your wife you think her sister is really hot."
that should take care of the situation.

Brilliant! The wife throws him out, files for divorce, gets the house, and she invites sis to move in for as long as she likes.

[Gretch]

"NO" and you should not feel an obligation to defend your decision. It is an outrageous, inconsiderate, and stupid question in the first place.

"NO".

[strupgolf]

I would have to tell them no. They made the choice to move, now anti up, find work, pay your bills.

[oldE]

Fastfred,

Because of my past, I would be inclined to go along with it. Just see if you and your wife can agree to some guidelines regarding house rules (fridge space, meal preparation, etc.) and duration.

Since they are both professionals, they probably won't be in your space forever. Since your wife is considering it, it is probably important to her.

You see, 29 years ago, my wife and I started a new home near her parents, then bam! Our old home sold quickly and she went into labor 3 weeks early. Her folks put us up for almost 3 months. At the same time her brother, his wife and 2 month-old were also building and staying with the folks. It worked because of communication and a willingness to 'get er done', but I have always been impressed with my Father-in-law's patience since.

Hopefully you have been talking to your wife more than us about this.

All the best.
Les

[red-beard]

Les,

The difference is:

1. You were employed - They are not
2. You lived in the area - They do not
3. You have a defined trigger to leave, completion of your house, which was in sight - They do not

I think this is a disaster waiting to happen. If they had jobs, I might consider it. But I don't think they should be there until they "build up" enough money for a downpayment on a house. That is so undefined. It could mean years.

Nope. I didn't do this when I moved to California and I was a single guy. I found employment BEFORE I moved. I arranged temporary housing while I found a place. I made a couple of trips out to find a place, before I moved.

No, this is a bad idea. Fred needs to talk to his wife.

[Rick Lee]

Unless they're planning on getting an FHA or VA loan, it most certainly will take them years to save for a down payment, even if they start good jobs the day they move in with you. And let's just say they get an FHA loan, which still requires 3.5% down. Assuming the seller pays for everything else, how long is it going to take them to "save" say $7k? If you start an $80k a year job, you're still not going to be able to sock that much away in less than six mos. And that's the rosiest of scenarios.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Seems many folks here have built their own narrative contrary to what Fred posted.

Be an adult. Have a discussion. Share your concerns. Talk them over. Come upon a resolution.

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

Not hot, I should have listed that in the original post, that would be a whole different ball game. And they are not leaches, they both currently work ,and already own a decent home with some property . The will be able afford to buy a home, just the logistics makes buying a home a little trickier. They are both in the medical field, and should not really have too hard of a time finding employment. I believe one has part time work lined up already. It is not really about the money, I honestly wouldn't ask them for money as long as it was a short term arrangement. Like stated above there is just no way in hell, I am going to live with 3 women at this point in my life, especially man hating lesbians. I also picture this being months, not weeks.
Tonight I am making plans for the apartment I am going to build in the last stall of my garage just in case I have to leave.
Pray for me pelicans.

[Superman]

I am just coming off two consecutive, unsuccessful, "roommate"-type experiences. I've been offered a chance to host a new fellow. The answer is "no." I REALLY like coming home to a quiet house.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by Shaun 84 Targa

Seems many folks here have built their own narrative contrary to what Fred posted.

Crazy talk. They're man-hating lesbians. What else do you need to know?

[McLovin]

To have 4 people move into your house for an indefinite amount of time - but a time that is likely going to be measured in at least months - seems to me to be a very unreasonable request.

Seems unreasonable for your wife to expect that, and for her sister to expect it.