Australia...What are the worst things about it?

[peppy]

My sons audiologist just got married and is moving to Australia. I am compiling information to make her feel guilty.

I already have the 12 most deadly creatures, but there must be more.

She will be moving to Brisbane.

This is all just in fun.

[Danny_Ocean]

I hear the women are really homely...

[KNS]

Island fever.

[masraum]

It's really far away, and expensive to get to?

[masraum]

Originally Posted by KNS

Island fever.

Really? I can't imagine that it feels much like an island, at least, not much more than North America.

[ckissick]

Originally Posted by masraum

It's really far away, and expensive to get to?

That's about it. I've been to Brisbane. Very nice place, perfect weather, and it's near the Great Barrier Reef. I guess the only problem is they drive on the wrong side of the road.

[Buckterrier]

Sharks. Cute, I mean killer kangaroos, the Outback. Cute, I mean killer kuala bears, crocodiles.

I do want to go there one day.

[jyl]

The people are suspiciously nice. You have to wear sunscreen. There is too much open land and awesome scenery. angela and other hot women live there and I hear they are all commando under their feed sacks.

I spent about two months in Australia and a month in New Zealand. Wonderful place. I think the Kiwi accent is a bit sexier but its all good.

On the positive side, imported stuff costs too much.

Worst this is getting there. Long flight. Won't wNt to leave....Because it so beautiful!

[madmmac]

Just sayin,

List of Deadliest Snakes in the world as per their ranking :

1) Fierce Snake or Inland Taipan (Oxyuranus microlepidotus ), Australia. The most toxic venom of any snake. Maximum yield recorded (for one bite) is 110mg. That would probably be enough to kill over 100 people or 250,000 mice. These rare snakes are virtually unknown in collections outside of Australia.
2) Australian Brown Snake (Pseudonaja textilis ), Australia. One 1/14,000 of an ounce of this venom is enough to kill a person.
3) Malayan Krait (Bungarus candidus ), Southeast Asia and Indonesia. 50% of the bites from this snake are fatal even with the use of antivenin treatment.
4) Taipan (Oxyuranus scutellatus ), Australia. The venom delivered in a single Taipan bite is enough to kill up to 12,000 guinea pigs.
5) Tiger Snake (Notechis scutatus ), Australia.
6) Beaked Sea Snake (Enhydrina schistosa ),Australia, South Asian waters Arabian Sea to Coral Sea..
7) Saw Scaled Viper (Echis carinatus ), Middle East Asia.
8) Coral Snake (Micrurus fulvius ), North America.
9) Boomslang (Dispholidus typus ), Africa.
10) Death Adder (Acanthopis antarcticus ), Australia and New Guinea.

[id10t]

And don't focus on just the snakes. Lots of bitey killey things around ...

[BeyGon]

I was there in April, I thought it was expensive.

[TimT]

Bad:

Box jellyfish

Really bad:

hIrukandji jellyfish

I have been stung by many jellyfish while swimming here in NY.... and it always ruins your day...

The above links would keep me out of the water in Oz...

[BeyGon]

There is a whole lot of drinking going on there.

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by madmmac

Just sayin,

List of Deadliest Snakes in the world as per their ranking :

1) Fierce Snake or Inland Taipan (Oxyuranus microlepidotus ), Australia. The most toxic venom of any snake. Maximum yield recorded (for one bite) is 110mg. That would probably be enough to kill over 100 people or 250,000 mice. These rare snakes are virtually unknown in collections outside of Australia.
2) Australian Brown Snake (Pseudonaja textilis ), Australia. One 1/14,000 of an ounce of this venom is enough to kill a person.
3) Malayan Krait (Bungarus candidus ), Southeast Asia and Indonesia. 50% of the bites from this snake are fatal even with the use of antivenin treatment.
4) Taipan (Oxyuranus scutellatus ), Australia. The venom delivered in a single Taipan bite is enough to kill up to 12,000 guinea pigs.
5) Tiger Snake (Notechis scutatus ), Australia.
6) Beaked Sea Snake (Enhydrina schistosa ),Australia, South Asian waters Arabian Sea to Coral Sea..
7) Saw Scaled Viper (Echis carinatus ), Middle East Asia.
8) Coral Snake (Micrurus fulvius ), North America.
9) Boomslang (Dispholidus typus ), Africa.
10) Death Adder (Acanthopis antarcticus ), Australia and New Guinea.

[Mothy]

This from the Australian Tourist Office - having to answer some of the silly questions from the world.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

We kinda like it down here - the nasty bitely things don't come looking for you.

Tim

[lisa_spyder]

Originally Posted by Danny_Ocean

I hear the women are really homely...

Cons...we women downunder don't all look like "The Body"...or gorgeous Megan Gale...sigh....we try; but those women are gifts from the gods...

You guy's haven't mentioned the scorpions yet either .

Brown snakes and redback spiders - they're our favorite locals

Dean (Beygon) - it can be expensive down here; particularly if you do any of the tourist haunts. But like anywhere, we locals know where to go...we have world best quality cheeses, beer, beef etc etc all on our doorstep here in Gippsland all at good prices (why the hell do you think a foodie like me loves living here lol). We're an hour away from Melbourne for when we need a decent city fix; and just over an hour from the snow and the surf....yep; plenty to hate here for sure

[lisa_spyder]

Tim (Mothy)....thank you...coffee all over my keyboard now!!!!

Bitey things - no they don't chase you here at all...does G O A N N A mean anything to you?

[lisa_spyder]

Originally Posted by jyl

I think the Kiwi accent is a bit sexier but its all good.

Only because they pronounce 'six' as 'sex'

[WolfeMacleod]

I hear that bandwidtth caps are horrid.