What Is Your Biggest Personal Failing?

[tevake]

Originally Posted by widgeon13

Your story is a sad one but it's not your fault, you did everything and more than your Dad would have wanted. You cared when it made a difference and I'm certain your Dad was fine in his final hours.

Have you ever read about the five stages of grief? You have experienced grief in the passing of your father but your father also experienced grief in the fact that he was dying and leaving you. The last of the five stages is acceptance. Perhaps your father accepted it in the end and you now have to stop beating yourself up and accept that fact as well. I'm sure your Dad would want that for you.

My Dad died 20 years ago and while I spent a lot of time with him in the last days, I was not there either when he finally died. I asked myself the same questions and wondered why I had not been a better son. I came to realize he did not want me to feel that guilt. It took some time for me to come to that realization.

This, It takes time to gather, is allways good to share. Wisdom! Thanks Widgeon

Cheers Richard

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Laneco

That is an epic failure that can never be righted.

I read your post a number of times since, like many here, it brought back difficult memories from my own life.

My Mother died in 1990 from a rather brief bout with cancer. I spent a lot of time in South Carolina the weeks prior to her passing. Unfortunately, I was to deploy to the desert and needed to be a Maryland to take care of pre-deployment quals, flight certs, etc.

I returned to Maryland.

Two days after I got back, my Father called and told me to get home. This was at 11pm.

The first flight out was at 0700 and I was on it. As I walked off the plane I saw my Father. A stronger, better man I don't know. He was in tears, so there it was.

We cried all the way home. But he told me not to worry, that Arden knew I was there for her, that she loved me as a son and as a man.

I suspect that your father felt the exact same way. Please let it go. I have.

[azasadny]

Lots of wisdom here...

[tabs]

Originally Posted by Zeke

Perfectly perfect. Got to love that. Solves everything.

It's not paying my bills though.

You DID NOT GET IT RIGHT.."perfectly IMperfect." is what I said.

Now we know your FAILING...you never get it RIGHT.

[billh1963]

Not taking car of my body the way I should...carrying 50 extra pounds....

[asphaltgambler]

My biggest professional failure...................pursuing my passion into the auto business as a career too long, actually believing in progress /evolution that should have occoured.

[944Larry]

procrastination and for some reason you can put me in a Hart, Schaffner and Marks and I'll just look like a redneck in a 3-piece.

[john70t]

Originally Posted by Burnin' oil

Turn the key to the on position.
Ok, it's on.
No it's not. Turn it one more click. That's it, good. Now turn it off.
OK, turn the key to the on postion again.
Ok, it's on, but nothing's happening.
Turn it one more click!!!!!! Yes, thank you, geez
silence
You don't have to yell at me.
silence
Apparently I lack patience.

It doesn't work.

Must be an open in the motor/fuse/gas/electronic whatchamacallit.

Oh great.
Another hour on the phone with tech only to talk with some peasant grandmother in another country with a heavy accent who responds with the wrong answers to the correct question. Then, I have to try and find a wiring diagram on the internet. Mabye check google archives just in case the company folded years ago. Do I have all the tools needed here? I probably left those wire cutter across town, and now it's thursday rush hour traffic.

"Is it plugged in?"

No.
It is not plugged in.

[peppy]

I am a terrible listener and speller.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by tabs

You DID NOT GET IT RIGHT.."perfectly IMperfect." is what I said.

Now we know your FAILING...you never get it RIGHT.

True, I messed that up. I caught the concept, though. There is one thing I get right 99.9% of the time. I don't say "your" when the sentence calls for a subject and a verb such as "you are" rather than a possessive pronoun.

I dock 20 point off anyone's thought to be IQ when they get that wrong.



And there is my failure. Spending any time thinking about other's weak use of language. So, tabs, you are (or you're), perfectly imperfect.

Oh wait, there's one more: I really have a problem with non sequitur whether it be me or another. And that's just from the logical perspective. Don't you just love it when people don't completely read the question before giving an answer?

As flawed as I may be, the Internet has done more for my self esteem than any other thing in my life. I guess that's why I go online every day. I can get up out of my chair knowing I'm not as fvked up as the people I have just read.

[billybek]

Originally Posted by Laneco

While I did that, my father died. While I was walking around trying to get a grip on something as ridiculous as a clueless boss, my father died without me. Without me to hold him when he crossed over, to remind him that his Mom and brother were already there, to remind him that good men like him have nothing to fear on the otherside.

He was afraid and I was not there like I promised. That is an epic failure that can never be righted.

angela

I am sorry to hear of your Dad's passing, Angela. If it was posted before I had missed it.

I won't tell you not to worry about this because you will.
I won't tell you that it was or wasn't your fault because you know that it wasn't.
I can tell you that from your posts from your Dad's car overhaul thread that he knew that he was the luckiest dad in the world to have a daughter like you.

Please accept my belated condolences.

[speeder]

To Angela, Paul and Mark, please do not feel bad about that one. Unless you stand sentry 24/7 w/o bathroom breaks, it's pretty hard to time someone's passing and be there at the moment. It sounds like all 3 of you made every effort possible to be there for your parents in the end and in fact you were, just not at the moment they crossed over.

My parents are pretty old and have their health problems. I live thousands of miles from them and the likelihood is that I will not be with them when they die. Or them with me, if I leave unexpectedly. The important thing is how you treat your family members while they are alive and all 3 of you were unqualified successes in my book.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by Zeke

True, I messed that up. I caught the concept, though. There is one thing I get right 99.9% of the time. I don't say "your" when the sentence calls for a subject and a verb such as "you are" rather than a possessive pronoun.

I dock 20 point off anyone's thought to be IQ when they get that wrong.



And there is my failure. Spending any time thinking about other's weak use of language. So, tabs, you are (or you're), perfectly imperfect.

Oh wait, there's one more: I really have a problem with non sequitur whether it be me or another. And that's just from the logical perspective. Don't you just love it when people don't completely read the question before giving an answer?

As flawed as I may be, the Internet has done more for my self esteem than any other thing in my life. I guess that's why I go online every day. I can get up out of my chair knowing I'm not as fvked up as the people I have just read.

Now U know my biggest flaw. I am far more concerned with getting the idea or thought down, than the correct grammar or spelling.

Even with those 20 IQ points deducted I am still a genius.

[Cloggie]

I, like Tabs, suffer from excessive modesty....

D.

[Zeke]

...excessively modest genius.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Angela, best to you - a heartfelt story for sure but you have to realize that the world doesn't come to a standstill just to accommodate one person's needs. Every single person on this board could get struck down simultaneously tomorrow and the world wouldn't even blink. It wouldn't even be a blip. We're ultimately that insignificant in the grand scheme. That said, we ARE significant to one another in a personal way. You were significant to your father and he undoubtedly felt you felt the same way to him, regardless of whether or not you happened to be there when the end came.

I suspect he passed on in peace and certainly without any resentment to you. Life goes on. The world goes on - regardless of what any of us do or don't, or can't. The best way to "be there" for him is to be true to his memory and not forget him. Honor him.

It's not your fault and I'm sure that somehow he knows it.

Peace.

[nostatic]

Obsessive and over-achiever - mostly to keep myself busy so I don't have to really *be* in the moment. Too painful. Also trying to get affirmation and fill in a big self-created hole. Well, mom helped...

[sammyg2]

Biggest fault? I'm way too insecure, always looking inward concentrating on what is wrong with me and looking for excuses instead of just living life and moving forward.
Either that or I'm just too nice and polite and easy-going.

Sum-body had to say it.

[notfarnow]

I put off important long-term things in order to deal with "emergencies" now. Upon closer scrutiny, a lot of times the "emergencies" have been self created and pretty much self-sabotage. Hard habit to break, but with a lot of work and focus I'm starting to catch myself.

also, I'm becoming a workaholic

also, I don't take care of my health

[tabs]

Has anyone ever tried to write the dialog in a movie down while watching that movie. Tough Huh? Well that is about the rate of speed that I think. My poor fingers just can not keep up.

Further if the only thing one can criticize one over is ones spelling and grammar then that person is not in the same league as the person they are criticizing. As all they can attack is the person and not the idea.