Does your spouse/SO ever throw u under the bus?

[DanielDudley]

You need to pick your battles and watch your temper. Cut privileges rather than act out.

She needs to stop making it a triangle or else accept complete responsibility for the child. The next time you think your son's behavior is getting out of hand, why don't you just do nothing, and wait to see how long SHE can take it. It might take a couple of hours, or even a few days, but eventually she may find her limits.

Anger is a valuable emotion, as it often shows us that action needs to be taken. However, it should not be the driving force behind that action, nor is it vital to get angry to see that action must be taken. If you don't work it out with your wife now, you may find that you become so wrapped up in this power struggle that you lose perspective.

[Rot 911]

Originally Posted by Vipergrün

This has been happening more frequently and has become a heated topic in the Vipergrün household.

Typical example;

12 year old son does something stupid, typical middle schooler.

I will correct him, guide him, or maybe even yell a bit.

The spouse will jump in and correct me, or even yell at me a bit for what I am doing or the way I am doing it.

Then my son will say "yeah dad, what mom said"

All of a sudden focus is shifted from whatever my son did, to what I did.

Dunno, I feel that any disagreements between parents should occur away from the kids. She doesnt have to agree, but why call me out in front of the kids?

Worst part is my spouse was a friggen psych major, so I get all the fun stuff thrown my way :--)

Welcome to my world. This happens constantly. I've tried the suggestions posted in this thread to no avail.

The 12 year old in my house is now running the place. I wish I could say it will get better, but at least in my situation, it isn't.

[Hugh R]

As I tell people who just had a baby, "You train the baby, don't let the baby train you". Gotta keep that in mind until adulthood.

Authority as parents is like when you deal with clients, and your staff person takes the clients/regulators side in the middle of a negotiation. That happened to me once and I took my staff person aside and told him to "never" switch sides on me with the client/regulator present.

He wants to pull me aside and express his concerns, fine.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Time for a talk. You have to present a united front, because the little bastards will exploit any weakness. Your big teenage battles are probably yet to be fought, so better get straight now.