Are you good at schmoozing?

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

Perhaps instead of hanging the company's future on skills you are not comfortable with, you could just hire someone who has those skills. When I started out I thought I could sell ads just by providing a great vehicle for them, with lots of eyeballs on paper, and letting them know what I could offer them. I thought I was doing fine. Then I hired a professional sales person and realized how poorly I was doing. She more than pays her salary and commissions. I kick myself when I look back at the money I left on the table by trying to work outside my comfort level.

Pretty good suggestion here. Build upon your strengths, bring in others to remedy your weaknesses.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by Tobra

I suspect you may discover you already have the skills you desire.

I don't, but I could.

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

Perhaps instead of hanging the company's future on skills you are not comfortable with, you could just hire someone who has those skills. When I started out I thought I could sell ads just by providing a great vehicle for them, with lots of eyeballs on paper, and letting them know what I could offer them. I thought I was doing fine. Then I hired a professional sales person and realized how poorly I was doing. She more than pays her salary and commissions. I kick myself when I look back at the money I left on the table by trying to work outside my comfort level.

Here's the nice thing about this "venture," I wouldn't be hanging the company's future on it. The kids lines wouldn't be effected if it proved unsuccessful but would benefit if it were. I agree with you on finding the right person, I'm just not sure it's realistic starting out. My hope would be someone finds me if I could get a few things into certain stores. That I can do and it does happen. Or I could just find Ralph Lauren bored in a corner at a party and start talking with him about his car collection. That would work.

[72doug2,2S]

I used to have charisma, but I lost it as I got older. Occasionally I can get it back, but now it takes several vodka and tonics.

I think that's why they always have a cash bar where all the schmoozers hang out.

[notmytarga]

I was thinking about making the career jump to High Fashion Design, but today on PPOT I found out I would have to schmooze and be gay. Oh - and the models are all too skinny. I'll stick with medicine and be the last one to turn out the lights.

[yazhound]

yeah, I love beer, esp Celebration Ale, love sake, Maker's Mark.. oh wait.. thought you said boozing sorry....

[kaisen]

I had an interesting conversation about a month ago with a good friend of mine who has an interesting career -- he's been voted the world's best pickup artist.

As you can imagine, he's extraordinarily good at picking up women. But this wasn't always the case. He was an introverted scientist-type in college and really didn't have that "natural charisma". As a scientist, he approached it as an experiment. He knew that if he forced himself to approach, say, 100 women a week that he would figure out what worked and what didn't work. He developed a system. He now sells that system (seminars, subscriptions, books, CDs, and much more) to other intoverted men who aren't successful with women.

Our conversation was about the art of "selling". My take is that we're ALWAYS selling, we just don't realize it. Perhaps substitute "persuade" for "sell" and it makes more sense, but the two words are relatively synonomous in this context. It's happening constantly, in every interaction we have. We're selling our ideas, we're selling ourselves, we're persuading others to see or share our point of view. It's rare that we can force someone to share it, and even then we needed to convince them that we had that authority. We're always persuading. Always. Every day.

So why are some people better at it than others? This friend has a degree in Psychology (and others). He thinks it is purely nurture, not nature. You're simply a product of your environment. That big Italian family anecdote? Simply survival of the fittest. Large family dynamics often mean that siblings need to do more "schmoozing" and entertaining to earn and keep the attention and resources of the family. The good news is that it is learned, so you can learn too.

I've trained thousands of people the art of sales in the context of the auto industry. It's a very specific, scientific, quantifiable process. I can instruct someone step-by-step on what to do when, and what not to do when, and why. So it is with my friend, who has held seminars all over the world instructing men, in very scientific ways, what works and what does not and why.

The shortcut in persuasion is to be fake and tell people what you think they want to hear. It's a weak, shortsighted perspective. The strongest persuaders understand that being genuine yet diplomatic will get you much further in the long run. It's often not the message, it's the delivery.

While there are thousands of techniques, books, and specific points to consider, the underlying commonality is this: People like to be liked. Every technique will be supporting this tenet. If you listen -- really listen -- it won't take long for someone to tell you exactly what you need to know to help them buy what you're selling. They are giving you the combinations to their lock, piece by piece.

It's science, but it's not rocket science.....

[72doug2,2S]

I always found the direct approach interesting.

How much? How much for the women?

[wdfifteen]

I have a good friend who is a serial shcmoozer. We'll walk into a bar, into an airport, restaurant, whatever, and he'll pick someone and start talking to them - it's like he can't help himself. I told a story here about being in Cartier's buy a watch with him. I have a dozen more stories like that. His mouth has gotten us thrown out of Babbo's in New York, Harrah's poker room, the sports book at Ceasar's, etc etc. He is mostly charming, he can be obnoxious at times, but no amount of rejection phases him. I'm terrified of rejection.

[slodave]

It seems I can on occasion. I know the alcohol helped, but I was chatting with a guy at a jazz concert after the show and at the end of the night, he's ready to send me a bunch of speakers to build guitar amps. Free.

Oh yeah... I also ended up schmoozing with one of the current owners of Telefunken. It seems his partner, Toni, likes 911's.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by kaisen

I had an interesting conversation about a month ago with a good friend of mine who has an interesting career -- he's been voted the world's best pickup artist.

I had a buddy like that in high school/college. Not the ugliest guy but nothing special either, his nickname in our group was "rat boy". I can't ever recall him being rejected, we would simply point out a girl at a party and away he would go. He had fantastic confidence, which is often 90% of the challenge when picking up women. He would typically start in with something goofy to make them laugh, then just strike up conversation from there. Damn that guy got a lot of sex......