Lying, in order to be a better husband.

[vash]

i'll admit, i annoyed my wife big time this morning.

my mom once told me (as an adult) i am too honest, and sorta judgmental. sometimes the two are not mutually exclusive.

here goes. i cannot pretend to like my wife's cooking. well some of her dishes are good. but when she goes all "mad scientist" in the kitchen, look out! or if she or my MIL brings me some outside food..if i dont like it, i just stop eating. it is obvious. my wife will ask; "well, what do you think?"..my mouth, the governor is broken!! i am not brutal. i'll just gently say..something stupid.

same with gifts. my wife cannot buy me gifts. PPOT knows my hobbies, and so does my wife. she will give me random gifts, like a gift certificate to some holistic healing full body message/poetry reading. she asks"dont you love it?"..again, my dumb mouth.

you guys? you play the game better? maybe i am too practical. i dont want her to waste $$ on something i wont like.

i cant win. i am making a peruvian roast chicken with polenta and oven roasted veggies tonight..i in am full time asskiss mode.

[TheWetCoast]

The last time I criticized my wife's cooking was 40 years ago. I should have kept my mouth shut. I have been doing all of the cooking ever since!

[HardDrive]

Silence is your friend.

[recycled sixtie]

I am very fortunate that my wife is a very good cook. She knows what I like. If I don't like it such as certain kinds of fish then I go to the bathroom and bring it up. She can tell by the amount of time I spend in the bathroom if there is a problem.

I cook once in a while but generally my wife cooks better than me so I know my place. Always find that honesty is the best policy.I offer to do take out or take her out for a meal but more often than not she declines. We have a new stove now so she likes to cook. I am lucky!

[fastfredracing]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

Silence is your friend.

This is a smart man here. It is not lying if you are not talking.

[flatbutt]

60 yrs old...still single....'nuff said?

[RWebb]

she asked a direct question so hard to be silent

instead, grunt appreciatively & bug out your eyes while nodding your head - puff your cheeks if nothing is in your mouth so it will look like it is full of her food

you need a dog to slip the food to under the table

[dan88911]

Some things are better left not said.

However, I will suggest having an honest conservation with your wife at some other time. When she might be more receptive to your feeling about the stuff you mentioned. So much for my 2 cents. Good Luck.
.

[look 171]

What if your wife tell you your cooking sucks? when she did, I said, thanks god let go out and grab something.

[tharbert]

Been married 30 years this coming July. My wife was a horrible cook at first but, being pretty much omnivorous, I didn't go hungry. If asked about something I didn't like, I would simply say "I'm not a fan." Get a pat answer. If she hears it enough, she'll catch on. After a while, my wife learned my preferences. She generally got better and in turn, stopped making dishes she knew I wouldn't like.

As for gifts, clothing with a gift receipt is about the only thing I ask for. If there is anything I really want, I get it before any special occasion arrives.

Can't help you with the MIL. Wives seem to basically go nutty when moms come around. Fortunately, my MIL is 3000 miles and another continent away.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by RWebb

...you need a dog to slip the food to under the table

You're about to endure the wrath of Baz if he sees this post

Me, I have no advice WHATSOEVER....I don't have a clue...(I do know from experience that silence won't work either)

[red-beard]

One of the old guys back at GE, when I was an young pup, told us when he first got married, his wife was a terrible cook. One of the women next door tried to help, by writing down a few recipes. The first one she tried was coffee cake.

First ingredient: One cup of coffee. So she got down the can of Folgers and scooped out a cup of grounds...

[gacook]

My first wife couldn't cook worth a ****e, so I taught her. Still not the best cook in the world, but she does a few dishes well. Same boat you're in with gifts, too. We were together almost 14 years, and she'd still get me things that made me give her the "Do you even know me?" look. A lot of my unhappiness with her, I sucked up and didn't mention. This was bad.

Current wife, I'm very honest with. She's a good cook, but due to our schedules (mine is more regular--when I'm in town), I usually do most of the cooking. She's a fabulous baker, though. Anyway, if she DOES make something that sucks, I let her know I don't like it, and tell her why. I think honesty is a very valuable tool, especially when it's delivered properly. There's no need to be an ass about something, just use words you'd like someone to use with you: "Thanks for making dinner tonight, babe, but it was really dry...maybe next time try doing ____." Stuff like that tends to not bother my wife. But once again, the current wife isn't great with gifts. Like a lot of guys, I just buy myself the stuff I want, and act happy when she gives me some crap I'll never use.

[vash]

Originally Posted by look 171

What if your wife tell you your cooking sucks? when she did, I said, thanks god let go out and grab something.

hahah..i did bad things to a cauliflower dish. she was quick to tell me. i was cool with it. it was funny.

my wife is pretty laid back. i just dont want to push my luck.

[schamp]

My wife now is a great cook. Wasn't so when we first got together. Once she made some country fried steak. It wasn't good. I took it outside and gave it to the dog. The dog didn't reconize it as food. Walked away. I just shook my head in amazment.
I found it best to try it, and eat around the stuff you don't like. If asked, "it's OK". She will figure it out from there.

[red-beard]

Not too long after my wife (when still a girl friend) moved out to San Diego, we bought some dried peppers on-line so she could make her red chili sauce. The peppers that came were the smaller Chinese type. So she tried them anyway.

These peppers are much hotter than the large dried Mexican pepper. We tried her red sauce in enchiladas. I thought it was pretty good, but extremely hot. My wife, who really isn't used to extremely spicy food said:

"This is excellent, but inedible!"

That phrase is used, from time to time, as a joke...

[doug_porsche]

There are two ways to argue with a woman, neither one works.

[sc_rufctr]

Originally Posted by vash

i'll admit, i annoyed my wife big time this morning... Snip

"Your wife's lament is none of your business"

So shut your mouth and listen to her.

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by vash

same with gifts. my wife cannot buy me gifts. PPOT knows my hobbies, and so does my wife. she will give me random gifts, like a gift certificate to some holistic healing full body message/poetry reading. she asks"don't you love it?"..again, my dumb mouth.

OMG!!! My wife is into the mani/pedi thing, it makes her feel good so I give her the green light to get a manicure/pedicure, she is very frugal so has a hard time spending money on herself... but I encourage her to pamper herself... she is always going on the I should try it "it feels so good!" Mmmmm, yeah, let me get back to you on that...


My wife also loves massages so I figured what the heck... I book us a couples massage... me at 56 years old my first massage... it was OK I guess but not like I would rush out to do it again... much prefer when my wife rubs my back (and front ) now those massages often end in a happy ending (I know you guys were going there anyway!).

[Taz's Master]

Vash, my evaluation may be wrong, I've never met you, but from what I've read here you are one of the most upfront, open and guileless people I know. I cannot believe your wife is unaware of those attributes, nor that she doesn't enjoy them. I don't think lying would be a good course for you. Be honest, and if/when you hurt her feelings, tell her, you know I'm not going to lie to you, if you know you are asking a question you want me to answer tactfully, you need to use tact when asking it. If you tell her you love a gift or food you don't like, expect to tell her how much you love it again and again.