Am I being overprotective.....

[widgeon13]

Originally Posted by Gretch

If by 24 she has not learned the ways of the world and how to be responsibly in possession of a vageen, she never will.

Either way.........

24 is way too old for apron strings....... she has to go live her own life, and will. There is nothing you can do about it, so relax and go live yours.

Oh yeah and Vancouver???????

YOU KNOW that city is chock full of Anglo-Canadians, right????????? hell they wouldn't say "****" if they had a mouth full!!

Well said!

[andrew15]

Jeebus - I'd be more concerned about her living in Edmonton for 24yrs!

Edmonton slam!

[19-911-65]

Am I being overprotective.....Yep!

This is quite unnerving to me. "Worried" over your adult daughter- never! "Concerned" over her well being and quality of life...until the day you take a dirt nap...its part of being a responsible parent. Both to yourself and your adult daughter.

I am more "concerned" over the basic skill set (or lack thereof) that has been taught and passed down to your adult daughter by you then any city or country she may choose to visit. Post #33..."Are u still going to rain on my parade?"...is this about what is best for you...or your daughter?

Maybe this poem will help ya understand. I shared this with my 17 year old son 20 years ago, the day I took him to college, walking around the dorm parking lot. Holding his hand while choking back the tears of admiration, love and "concern". The second best thing I ever did for him. The "kid" has soared in flight to the moon and back! I will be forever grateful for the mother he has.




On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

I have moderated somewhat. Instead of going en masse with her, my wife and I in the aircraft I could do a roadtrip in the P car(by myself - wifey does not care for long trips in the P car) and meet at the Van. airport after she has flown there, take her to the hotel, stay a day till she meets with other conveners and then leave......

Are u still going to rain on my parade?

I can't get this thread out of my head, it's truly one of the strangest things I've seen on this board and that's really saying a lot.

Is it possible that there was a typo and the girl's age is actually 14 instead of 24? That would make it un-strange.

[Moses]

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

I have moderated somewhat. Instead of going en masse with her, my wife and I in the aircraft I could do a roadtrip in the P car(by myself - wifey does not care for long trips in the P car) and meet at the Van. airport after she has flown there, take her to the hotel, stay a day till she meets with other conveners and then leave......

Are u still going to rain on my parade?

You are SO off the map here it's difficult to know where to begin.

[Hugh R]

At 24 my daughter was taking business trips to China, India, and the UK.

[creaturecat]

The skytrain leaves from the airport. Stops in front of the convention centre. No other transportation
needed.
The dangerous part will be driving the P car through the mountain passes.
You would have to work real hard at it, to get in trouble in Vancouver, especially the downtown core.
You certainly do not have to worry about her getting hit on by men. Women in Vancouver have waited years and years for this to happen. : )

[porsche4life]

It ain't the Vancouver native men you gotta worry about, it's all the young sales guys that in town for a convention.

[widgeon13]

I don't mean to be rude but if she can't travel alone at 24 you have done many things incorrectly. Which one lacks confidence, the parent or the child? Or both. This is a sad scenario.

[Nostril Cheese]

Ok I'll say it..

This thread is worthless without pics.

And yes, you are being too over protective.

[kaisen]

Here's what my S.O. had to say about this thread (Hugh, Denis, Jeremy, Dave, and others have met her):

Your daughter is less than 6 years younger than I am.

My first trip alone was when I was 16. It was also my first plane ride. At that age, I had the sensibilities to book my own flight, negotiate an airport concourse, meet up with my arranged transportation, and arrive at my destination safely. This trip was to Detroit. Definitely not a place to wander around, regardless of gender. There is a pretty standard rule, if you're inside 6 mile, it's "No cop, No stop" at most intersections to reduce the risk of getting jacked. I made it out alive. Yeah, even with some homeless junkie walking up, showing me her track marks and talking about what she "needed". Using the logic of the OP, I should have ended up drooling in an alley with a dirty needle protruding from my arm.

Sorry, just not that kind of girl.

It's been said, but I'll say it again. Unless she is somehow mentally compromised, is newly exploring the world as an addict in recovery, or has specifically requested the companionship, it's not your place to go, to chauffeur, to get her settled in.

Frankly, I'd be offended. The words "How dare you intrude" come to mind.

When I think about where I was at 24, and the notion of having my parents go on a trip to make sure I was "ok" is laughable. I was buying my own home, with no help, and living on my own.

My parents raised 4 kids. 3 of us were girls born within less than 4 years of one another. I know having 3 daughters so close in age gave my father more than a few gray hairs, but the best thing he ever did was let us roll the dice, make mistakes, and learn to pull ourselves out of whatever hole we dug. He'd dust us off once we got out, but he certainly didn't make it his place to run ahead on our paths and fill in those holes before we got to them.

He was the stereotypical "cleaning a shot gun on the porch when a boy came to pick us up" type dad. I respect him for it.

What I couldn't respect is a father who has so little faith in the woman I've become, that he forcefully inserts himself in my life, my adventures, my ANYTHING, simply to squelch his own insecurities.

If she asks, go. If not, don't even suggest it. It puts her in the dreadful position of putting your fears ahead of her own dreams. Why would you want to do that to her?

Let that baby bird fly, or when she finally gets the courage to fly on her own, she'll never return.

[matt f]

If, as an employer, I found out that someone's father had followed them to a convention where they represented me and my company, said employee would no longer have a position.

[VaSteve]

This is an early April fools gag, or recycled 60 I'd recycled 1860. LOL. But back in 1860, a 24 year old would have kid of her own. This is more insane than Wolfe's thread last summer.

[ZOA NOM]

Originally Posted by matt f

If, as an employer, I found out that someone's father had followed them to a convention where they represented me and my company, said employee would no longer have a position.

He never said follow. He said he would travel with her, get her settled in, and then leave.

I totally understand people relating their own experiences, but why are so many trying to turn it into something it isn't? He's a father who cares for his daughter. All of you "adventurers" out there who've been on their own since they were six years old, good for you. All 24 year-olds are not the same. He's probably figured out that asking for advice about it here was a mistake, but nonetheless, cut him some slack. Anyone who has a daughter should understand at least the concern.

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by creaturecat

You would have to work real hard at it, to get in trouble in Vancouver, especially the downtown core.

Unless there's a Canucks home game and they lose.

[AFC-911]

The only thing I would expect from my parents if I were going on this business trip is for them to drop me off at the airport and have them ask me to check in once I land or when I'm checked in at the hotel (whichever is convenient).

Originally Posted by andrew15

Jeebus - I'd be more concerned about her living in Edmonton for 24yrs!

Edmonton slam!

lol. Could be worse...At least it's not Winnipeg.

[svandamme]

Originally Posted by ZOA NOM

All 24 year-olds are not the same.

All 24 year old's should be able to deal with life , cause not all 24 year old's can expect to have somebody deal with life for them.

I know plenty of folks who never had the choice and had to grow the F up at ages waaaaaay younger then 24. And Life did not give them any freebies because of their young age.

So frankly , overprotecting a kid, is not doing them any favors.
It just grows em up unprepared to deal with life.

[VaSteve]

I have a cousin who's mother interfered in every aspect of his life. He's 42 or so and still live at home. He worked as a substitute teacher and his mom somehow interfered with that and het got fired. He just it married to a woman that he met on the Internet from overseas and they life at home. I don't think he has any survival skills. Scary.

[creaturecat]

Originally Posted by AFC-911

The only thing I would expect from my parents if I were going on this business trip is for them to drop me off at the airport and have them ask me to check in once I land or when I'm checked in at the hotel (whichever is convenient).



lol. Could be worse...At least it's not Winnipeg.

or Regina.

[ZOA NOM]

Originally Posted by svandamme

All 24 year old's should be able to deal with life , cause not all 24 year old's can expect to have somebody deal with life for them.

I know plenty of folks who never had the choice and had to grow the F up at ages waaaaaay younger then 24. And Life did not give them any freebies because of their young age.

So frankly , overprotecting a kid, is not doing them any favors.
It just grows em up unprepared to deal with life.

Sage advice. What if the trip was to Mexico City? Same advice? Do you have any knowledge of this particular 24 year old? Do you have any first hand knowledge or experience with Vancouver?

It's interesting to me that the general consensus is that the twenty-something generation is woefully dependent on their parents, and seriously lacking in skillsets that can keep them out of trouble, yet we'll lambaste a father who cares enough to at least think about her safety.

What would this thread look like if a tragedy actually took place, and he came in with the sad story after the fact? I'm betting it would degenerate into a thread full of admonishments that he "should have known she couldn't handle travelling out of the country alone, nobody her age can even change a tire."