"That's different"

[BK911]

Our money gets deposited into a joint account and we each get an allowance which goes into our individual accounts. All necessities come from joint account. All luxuries come from our personal account. It's pretty fluid and nothing is written in stone, just a system to keep some individual money that each of us have control over. I dont have to ask her to pull money from my account, and she doesnt have to ask me to pull money from her account.

Thought this was a good idea to keep from arguing over how many shoes, clothes, jewelry, nick nacks, etc... she wants, and how many cars and motorcycles I want. At least in theory! I guess what's mine is ours, and what's hers is hers.

But seriously, she realized what she was doing when I started laughing. The whole point was to have separate money to do whatever we wanted with.

As far as adding another car, she never goes into the shop. It would not affect her at all.

[BK911]

Originally Posted by McLovin

I guess I'd feel like I either trust the person enough to marry them, and have everything we earn/make be joint property that we can trust each other with, or not.

Sounds like you never went through a divorce.

[gacook]

Originally Posted by McLovin

Well, the issues in your first marriage had nothing to do with joint accounts or separate accounts. You were going to end up in the same place, regardless of the structure of the bank accounts.

As to your second marriage, I guess I can kind of semi understand what your doing. Although it still seems like a somewhat artificial construct to me.

And, me, personally, if I weren't willing to share a bank account with someone, I sure wouldn't be willing to marry them. Because in most states (community property states) half the money in "your" account is hers anyways.

I guess I'd feel like I either trust the person enough to marry them, and have everything we earn/make be joint property that we can trust each other with, or not.

You know, McLovin, really you're right. And I live in one of those community property states. The logical part of my brain says just merge; but the "I'll never get screwed again!!!" part of me persists. It really does work for us, though. In her previous marriage, her husband made around what I make...and kept it all. She paid the bills, he played. So, having me covering most of the bills, I guess she's just happy having some of her own spending money; I dunno.

[Head416]

We have separate accounts. For us it has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with less hassle. For a while we had one account for bills and both of our spending money. Keeping track of everything and balancing was a headache. (Both of us, and our moms, worked in banks so we actually balance the checkbook. I realize this is becoming a thing of the past.)

Now we have an account for bills, and we each have our own account for spending money. We transfer money between each other whenever it's necessary, there is no sense of "ownership". All the money comes from my paycheck anyway. I love getting her to buy dinner. It entertains the crap out of me to make her pay even though it doesn't make any difference. She just rolls her eyes at me.

[Z-man]

Originally Posted by mossguy

Couch is now in backyard.

I'm hoping the OP has the foresight to build a shed in his backyard prior to leaving for Atlanta.

Mrs. Z and I share joint bank accounts, but we do have separate credit cards. I write the checks (yes, I still do that for the most part) for all the bills. Her motto is, "You make it, I spend it!" Truth be told, I can easily outspend her anyday, especially during track/DE/Autocross season.

-Z-man.

[widebody911]

When I told my wife I was going to go look at a Type 3 Karmann Ghia that I was thinking about buying, she asked "What's that?" When I showed her a picture of one, she said "I'll look cute driving that."

[RWebb]

Yes, it is different. For one thing she does not need a trailer hooked up to a truck for her purchases. 2nd hers fit nicely into a small drawer (or drawers) (or sprawl all over the damn countertops in the bathroom) (or...).

Most importantly, it is different because she is a woman. SHE has TWO X-chromosomes - count em!

That makes everything different.

You do need to have a nice talk with her, maybe while she visits you on the couch. Tell he you don't understand, and ask her to just talk to you about her point of view. Plead.

Bring her back a nice present from the trip.

[BK911]

Originally Posted by RWebb

Yes, it is different. For one thing she does not need a trailer hooked up to a truck for her purchases.

You have obviously never seen her shoe collection. Or pocket books.
But I hear what you guys are saying. Communication is key.
"Do what you want" means different things to a woman and a man.

[cstreit]

Don't get the seperate accounts thing, obviously works for you...

What if you lose your job? Does that mean that she loans you money so you can eat out and then you pay back? What if it were long term? No more fun for you?

"Do what you want" means different things to a woman and a man.

Oh you got that right. When she says it, proceed it with an implied "I DARE you."

[ckelly78z]

We have been married for 25 years and look forward to another 25 years. We have had joint checking and savings all that time. Separately, I have my stack of cash in the gun safe that equals usually somewhere between $500-$1500 for craigslist purchases, or buying cars/track days/whatever with no questions.

I usually part out a car or two to build up my cash reserves, and don't bother telling her about items bought under $500.

[GH85Carrera]

I spent a few dollars from my account to buy all the parts for a suspension rebuild on my 911, a complete Griffiths ac system, and a engine swap for my El Camino. My wife never asked once what any of that costs. She goes to the antique store or clothing-shoe store and spends what ever she wants. Never a question from me. We have separate accounts and a simple formula for what each of us pays for.