"That's different"

[BK911]

Wife comes home to find the trailer hooked up to the truck.

What are you doing?
I am going to Atlanta tomorrow.
I cant believe you bought another car.
So?
You should have asked me.
Do you have to ask me when you spend your money from your personal account?
"That's different."

That's when I fell to the ground laughing so hard.
She actually sounded like she believed it.

So, is it different?

[Baz]

What's a wife?

[Jim Richards]

What's a personal account?

[madmmac]

What's a personal account?

[BK911]

Really? You guys dont have your own accounts? We have joint accounts for bills, but separate accounts for other stuff.

[Jim Richards]

Nope. Never had separate accounts.

[BE911SC]

Separate accounts. My money in mine, her money in hers. I buy a 911? Not a peep out of her. She takes a trip to Europe with the kids? Not a peep out of me. The bills get paid and the spending is carefully controlled by both of us. I trust her, she trusts me. So far it's working (18 years in).

[recycled sixtie]

I will carry on with the questions. Sounds like a game show.
What is communication? Perhaps you should have run the car buying by her first.
I did that with a Miata 6 years ago. She was not happy. 4 years ago I consulted with her about a P car and upgraded and this time with air cond. and heated seats.

As always on this forum the answers you get maybe not what you want to hear. I try to please my wife and she tries to please me or else married life can be let's say challenging....

Speaking of bank accounts, we do have a joint a/c for agreed on items.Also have my money and her money a/c's.

[Aggie93]

We just have a joint checking account. I have a few $100s for emergencies, craigslist purchases, and other expenses that are better under the radar (mostly related to the 930). Just one credit card as well.

[andrew15]

1) Point down to pants
2) Say 'I'm wearing the pants'
3) Go buy car
4) Sleep on couch after getting back with car

[mossguy]

Originally Posted by andrew15

1) Point down to pants
2) Say 'I'm wearing the pants'
3) Go buy car
4) Sleep on couch after getting back with car

Couch is now in backyard.

[Baz]

Originally Posted by mossguy

Couch is now in backyard.

Because the locks have been changed....

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by BK911

Really? You guys dont have your own accounts? We have joint accounts for bills, but separate accounts for other stuff.

Bizarre.

Do you each fund your "personal" accounts from your own earnings?

How do you decide how much from those earnings each is required to contribute to the joint accounts?

Which one pays the insurance for your cars? Each for the car you each primarily drive?

If your wife goes to the dentist and it costs $100, is that a "personal" bill or a "joint" bill?

Why do you go through that hassle?

[mossguy]

Not enough income these days to fund three accounts, so we operate from one with a great deal of communication, cooperation, and compromise. It works well for us. YMMV.

Tom

[gacook]

Why do you go through that hassle?

First marriage, we had a joint account. And by "joint account" I mean, I worked and put money in, she sat on her ass all day and took money out (she was a go-getter before we got married, quit everything after the cake was cut). Final straw for me was when I was working over in the Middle East as a contractor. I decided to do a 2-year stint. First year would pay off every bit of debt she'd incurred over the years, second year would be great for that "nest egg" and the kids' college accounts. I had everything budgeted out, told her what needed to be spent where, etc. and I lived off under $200/month for myself. Even made sure she had enough "fun money" left over for her and the kids to do whatever each month (about $1000/month of free money). First year almost over, I check my bills and there aren't nearly as many of them gone as there should be...and after doing the math between what's been paid, what's in the bank and what I've made, there's $50k missing. Ask her about it, and her answer is she has no clue what she spent it on (and this is already taking into account the $15k for her tits/nose that I wasn't thrilled about paying for).

So, that was it. I'll never share a bank account with another human being. Current wife works, pays a portion of our bills (I make more, so pay more) and does WTF she wants with whatever she has left over. I do the same.

[BE911SC]

Originally Posted by mossguy

a great deal of communication, cooperation, and compromise.

Essential.

[HardDrive]

Shared accounts. Never a problem. I pay for my hookers and blow with cash

[Steve Carlton]

I think spending your own money is one thing, but (I assume) parking another vehicle on your property might be something she has a say-so in? Would you like to hear from her before she put another vehicle on your property?

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by gacook

Why do you go through that hassle?

First marriage, we had a joint account. And by "joint account" I mean, I worked and put money in, she sat on her ass all day and took money out (she was a go-getter before we got married, quit everything after the cake was cut). Final straw for me was when I was working over in the Middle East as a contractor. I decided to do a 2-year stint. First year would pay off every bit of debt she'd incurred over the years, second year would be great for that "nest egg" and the kids' college accounts. I had everything budgeted out, told her what needed to be spent where, etc. and I lived off under $200/month for myself. Even made sure she had enough "fun money" left over for her and the kids to do whatever each month (about $1000/month of free money). First year almost over, I check my bills and there aren't nearly as many of them gone as there should be...and after doing the math between what's been paid, what's in the bank and what I've made, there's $50k missing. Ask her about it, and her answer is she has no clue what she spent it on (and this is already taking into account the $15k for her tits/nose that I wasn't thrilled about paying for).

So, that was it. I'll never share a bank account with another human being. Current wife works, pays a portion of our bills (I make more, so pay more) and does WTF she wants with whatever she has left over. I do the same.

Well, the issues in your first marriage had nothing to do with joint accounts or separate accounts. You were going to end up in the same place, regardless of the structure of the bank accounts.

As to your second marriage, I guess I can kind of semi understand what your doing. Although it still seems like a somewhat artificial construct to me.

And, me, personally, if I weren't willing to share a bank account with someone, I sure wouldn't be willing to marry them. Because in most states (community property states) half the money in "your" account is hers anyways.

I guess I'd feel like I either trust the person enough to marry them, and have everything we earn/make be joint property that we can trust each other with, or not.

[mossguy]

Originally Posted by McLovin

I guess I'd feel like I either trust the person enough to marry them, and have everything we earn/make be joint property that we can trust each other with, or not.

^^^This.