How do you handle this neighbor?

[cashflyer]

Originally Posted by on2wheels52

Is Bob smart enough to know what a burning cross on his front lawn means?

We're in the South, so burning crosses have a certain historic significance. I think burning a cross in Bob's yard would just confuse everyone.

Honestly, I don't want me or any of the other neighbors to climb aboard the crazy train, or to go to jail, or to die. I don't want to fight at his level. I want to figure out how to use 'the system' to our advantage.

[mikesride]

Any chance of someone being able to drain their septic tank into this A-Holes basement? Sounds like a true piece of shyte! Sorry to hear about your predicament.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by cashflyer

He moved back to his home area a few years ago in an attempt to flee the area of his painful memories. Somehow, Bob found out about this. And now Bob routinely uses this as ammunition against Jay; calling him a wife killer, murderer, alky, etc.

Is it a stretch to think that one day Jay will snap and either shoot Bob, or will be shot by Bob when he tries to choke the crazy out of him?

That is a level of malevolence that goes beyond ol' Bob being a dick.

I can't think of a path forward that doesn't include others getting involved, be it some form of restraining order, finding out why Bob got bounced from the airline jobs, documenting his behavior, finding out what meds he is on, talking to the local mental health folks, the police, etc.

I also can't think of a scenario that has this soap opera ending well. There isn't going to be a way out of this without some furniture getting wrecked.

[stealthn]

Holy crap, if "Bob" (not me) said that to me about my wife considering what happened, he would not live past the driveway.

Time to move

[Baz]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

That is a level of malevolence that goes beyond ol' Bob being a dick.

I can't think of a path forward that doesn't include others getting involved, be it some form of restraining order, finding out why Bob got bounced from the airline jobs, documenting his behavior, finding out what meds he is on, talking to the local mental health folks, the police, etc.

I also can't think of a scenario that has this soap opera ending well. There isn't going to be a way out of this without some furniture getting wrecked.

Bingo!

This would be the first step for me.

Contact local social services and LE for counsel.

Doesn't require any contact with Bob - just a fact gathering exercise.

Then get back to the brain trust and we'll tell you the next step to take.

[Jeff Higgins]

[Gogar]

How bout a private meeting with you, bob, and a tazer?

[StevoRocket]

Document everything before you seek professional advice - including his verbal attacks and other neighbours comments.

That will give a base for discussions to start.

In the UK we have legal orders preventing nutters from getting onto properties they threaten etc. Might be worth exploring.

Get the local Police on your side and fully aware of the potential for trouble.

----
Explore this too

Psychological harassment
This is humiliating, intimidating or abusive behaviour which is often difficult to detect leaving no evidence other than victim reports or complaints. This characteristically lowers a person’s self-esteem or causes them torment. This can take the form of verbal comments, engineered episodes of intimidation, aggressive actions or repeated gestures.

[Tobra]

You need to form a unified front and go to the local constabulary. Document his craziness, make certain the gendarmes realize he has firearms and is acting in a threatening, erratic fashion. Tell them that you are concerned he is going to go postal, eventually he will.

[cashflyer]

I have spoken to an FAA rep about Bob, and the rep told me that there is little they can do. He said that if we (the community) start writing letters of concern to them, detailing his emotional issues, his anger management issues, and his erratic behaviour, then the aeromedical office will consider the possibility of suspending his pilot license until he undergo a psyche eval.

The local deputies have been out a few times in the past about Bob, and I was just informed a minute ago that the Sheriff's department is planning to send a "community representative" out to speak with the Association officers next week about Bob. We have been told already that most of what we are experiencing is a civil matter, not a criminal matter, and that we should consult with an attorney. However I think it is important that the PD have a heads-up about the issues here.

[pavulon]

Originally Posted by Chocaholic

He's just being misunderstood and is crying out for compassion, love and support. A group hug should set things right.

Funny. Are you're advocating for escalation?

In my experience, escalation with unstable folks is always productive. I can't remember the last time pushing it with an educated, armed, angry and unstable dude ended poorly for someone. Can you?

[Rikao4]

there is a reason why he left the other airline..
you guys are connected..
find out...


Rika

[StevoRocket]

Good point - also Google his name and check out air forums and facebook.
Google his aircraft registration sign.

[VINMAN]

Welcome to the wonderful fraternity of having a scumbag neighbor...

[BE911SC]

It's the same thing as trying to get a STOP sign put up in front of a park. Nothing can be done until a little kid gets run-over by a car. Only then can the STOP sign be installed.

Your A-hole neighbor knows he has all of you trapped and he'll inflict his pile of resentments and anger on you as long as he wants. There is no law that states Thou Shall Not Be An A-hole and he knows it. Your suffering is his pleasure. (Psychopath.)

There has to be another grass strip you can live on. Either that or prepare for the inevitable snap-event where he goes off and starts shooting. Sounds like it's coming. Stay ultra-vigilant and keep your head down.

[ossiblue]

Originally Posted by cashflyer

I have spoken to an FAA rep about Bob, and the rep told me that there is little they can do. He said that if we (the community) start writing letters of concern to them, detailing his emotional issues, his anger management issues, and his erratic behaviour, then the aeromedical office will consider the possibility of suspending his pilot license until he undergo a psyche eval.

The local deputies have been out a few times in the past about Bob, and I was just informed a minute ago that the Sheriff's department is planning to send a "community representative" out to speak with the Association officers next week about Bob. We have been told already that most of what we are experiencing is a civil matter, not a criminal matter, and that we should consult with an attorney. However I think it is important that the PD have a heads-up about the issues here.

Three words: Document, document, document.

Everyone who has had an encounter with Bob needs to sit down and document their experiences. That means recording, in an objective manner, each incident that shows his erratic and potentially dangerous behavior from their personal experience, not hearsay. They need to cite dates and times as close to the actual ones as possible--terms like, "On or about June 25th..." will work if they cannot recollect the exact time or date. They need to avoid slangy words like "crazy", "nuts," "postal," and the like and instead use terms that reflect their true concerns, such as "erratic," "threatening," "dangerous," or "unstable."

What you are trying to do is develop a history of behavior, witnessed by several people, that has progressively gotten more dangerous to the community. Writing these out will clarify the memories and help to see a clear trend in downward spiraling behavior. Further, when meeting with authorities, it will provide a concise, chronological review of the behavior that paints a distinct picture to an outsider.

This is the information that needs to be used when contacting authorities as you will need to contact several different agencies to effect any change or intervention and a solid written record of behaviors is your best evidence. You are dealing with bureaucracies and written documentation is something they have a hard time trying to deny. The response from the FAA reflects this. Same with the police. Though they say his behavior is not criminal, and to date it apparently is not, written anecdotal evidence puts them on notice that a potential crime is feared in your community. They cannot legally act but they may be more tuned into to calls to the department regarding actions by Bob.

Bottom line, you're going to want to avoid individuals retaliating against his actions and, instead, act as a community unified against behaviors that are increasingly hostile, erratic, and dangerous.

Just my $.02

[BlueSkyJaunte]

Originally Posted by stealthn

Holy crap, if "Bob" (not me) said that to me about my wife considering what happened, he would not live past the driveway.

No kidding, that is beyond the pale.

Time for Bob to take a dirt nap.

[Aragorn]

What would I do about this guy? Nothing until he tried to do something that affected me. Then I would respond in kind.

He sounds like a nut job ready to go off. You know he is armed and from your post he seems dangerous. I would just document all his tantrums and notify the proper authorities when they are egregious enough to warrant it. Stepping in to it now could just set him off.

As to the C&R first talk to an attorney who does planned communities and HOA's to see if there is a way to amend or set up an agreement. Even if the original Covenants and Restrictions were improperly recorded in the 80's there has got to be a way to fix it now. Never hurts to talk to an attorney to get his view on the matter first. Then have a community meeting to discuss setting up new standards. Only then can you see about getting the community back to normal and this problem settled.

[flipper35]

If you were in New York you could just tell the BATF that he is mentally unstable and they would pay him a visit.

[aigel]

Wouldn't a restraining order require surrender of his firearms? I guess this depends on the state, but if enough people pitch in, saying they are threatened by Bob with individual orders, this may be a way to take some of the edge off.

I also would seriously consider moving. Life is too short to deal with this kind of crap.

G