Can you compartmentalize? How?

[RWebb]

I meant to friend them so they will work to get you some new biz in your present area... it sorta sounds this co. is not well mg'd overall...

good luck

[rfloz]

Meditation - it teaches you how to empty your mind of all thoughts, good, bad and indifferent. Very helpful in stressful times.

Oh, and shut off the damn e-mail once in a while.

[aigel]

Originally Posted by gacook

I'm assuming you have an office set up in your home. I think it might be wise to put in your "time" for the day, and then lock that door. Stop answering emails in the wee hours of the night. If you want to learn to compartmentalize, the first thing to do is truly separate your work life from your home life. Is what you do so important that they need an answer at 1am, or can it wait till 7 or 8?

This is sound advice. I believe what you enjoy so much - being in your undies at work - may be what's hurting in the long run. The border between work and spare time is very blurry and it will start feeling like work more and more, instead of the other way around.

I truly believe that having a work location that is physically separated from home makes compartmentalizing very simple. Do not take the computer, keep the work phone off. Bingo.

I went to a flip phone from a smart phone 1.5 years ago and it has been a true blessing. I would find myself reading emails in the evenings and start worrying about stuff that I had a) no control over and b) could not do anything about until the next day anyway. Yes - sometimes I miss out on something or it spins out of control by the time I can go correct it, but the positive of having a few hours to yourself in the evening far outweigh the down sides.

G

[Zeke]

Sounds like you ARE on your deathbed, in a manner of speaking. How many others in your division work from home?

My other thought, play more music for less stress. I would if I could.

[jcommin]

I'm an old school guy so please accept this from a different point of view.

I would never ever recommend to anyone to air your work or difficulties you may have. This is a public forum and you open yourself to anyone who see this. Employers do background checks and can simply Google you and all sorts of stuff can pop up,

You state in your opening you maybe on the bubble for poor performance and provide an excuse (reason). That's a red flag to me. You like your job because it allows you freedom. I look at it as no personal accountability other than you loosing clients. You want a job but not a career. You are afraid to look elsewhere because you may not have the freedom you have now. I don't see any initiative on your part. I wouldn't hire someone who just wants to draw a paycheck and nothing else. You are not special.


I think you want you cake and eat too.


This maybe extreme but I know many who lost a job opportunity due to a background check. The sane goes for Facebook and LinkedIn.

Please be careful what you post.

You are too young to settle - cuz there is someone out there who has the drive, passion and ambition to take your job from you.

[Rick Lee]

Perhaps I'm not explaining it well, but then the job situation is not my main question. How to compartmentalize is what I want to know.

Anyway, I have not lost any clients. My two biggest clients have had huge reorgs and are in a holding pattern until it all shakes out. This happened while I had large contract renewals pending with them. So they didn't renew the contracts, but still spend on an ad hoc basis because 1) we've always done a good job for them and 2) I have excellent relationships with them. My revenue problem would be non-existant if they had renewed and continued to use the services they had bought for the last few years. In fact, in March I was below goal by the exact dollar amount of those contracts that did not renew, meaning I'd have been at 100% of goal, had they renewed. It was a lot of money and they spend a lot outside of those contracts too. So it's hard to make that revenue up by mere increases with other existing clients, especially in a downward-trending industry.

I'm not afraid to look for another job. I'm doing it right now. And, as I've said more than once, I'm fine with dressing up and commuting, but not to make a lateral move. Of course, that wouldn't be a lateral move if I were to lose this job. But for the moment, I'm aiming high and only looking for something better, not lateral.

And it's not even because I'm that picky, but rather I've come to believe the best increase you can get in income is when changing jobs. You don't get a 40% raise from a current employer. But you can get that kind of bump by going to another one. That's what I'm looking for because I'm almost topped out where I am with no more upward mobility at the same company.

[DanielDudley]

Rick, when you are done with this thread, delete it.

When I can't get perspective, I always look at what would be the WORST scenario, as a result of the present situation. Then I face that, and decide what could happen, and what I would do. SO really look at that. I mean the worst, the thing you fear, that you are not looking at now. That is what is eating you, and it is halfway there, in the back of your mind.

Having faced the worst, it is a lot easier to deal with the present. As far as your ethnicity goes, I would view that as a plus on a resume.

You seem like a kick ass guy. So why don't you stop trying to forget your problems and totally look into kicking some ass. Sooner or later, that is what it is going to take.

Not making a choice to do something is the same as choosing to do nothing. So eat a Snickers bar, and get out there !

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by DanielDudley

As far as your ethnicity goes, I would view that as a plus on a resume.

I'm not Chinese. I'm as white as the day is long.

Worst case scenario is getting canned because of the stress it would put on my finances and, IMHO, it becomes harder to find a job when you don't have one already, especially if terminated for performance and still looking for a sales job.

But then, in a way, it'd be liberating. I'd be done with this job and all the baggage with it. There'd be no more work-related stress AT ALL, just financial and unemployment stress. I'd be forced to spend every waking moment looking for work (and working out). Not saying I want to get canned. I want to leave on my own terms and I want to right the ship either way.

[Zeke]

Are you still in 'advertising' sales?

[Rick Lee]

Something like that.

[jcommin]

Rick, I can respect your need to compartmentalize but, IMO, you used the wrong example - your job. Most if not all responded about your job and what/how to get some distance from it.

I have been in the manufacturing world for 40 years. I have this philosophy "work hard, play hard". You have avenues guns, music to mention a few. You are well traveled - you are probably a very bright guy.

People younger than you don't worry about compartmentalizing. They are hungry, full of energy and fear nothing. unless you can prove you are worth more than that, you will fear for your job always.

Good luck with your job search. Just remember resumes are on the net too. This is a big brother world.

[RANDY P]

eeeh, they will never find you. that's what a shortened name is for. I wouldn't worry here.

"Rick Lee" - could be anyone.

rjp

[Brando]

Short novel sent.

It really is a balancing act.

[McLovin]

You don't have kids, do you?

If not, what's there to worry about? You'll always be able to support yourself. Anyone who is of average intelligence, no criminal record, reasonably willing to live within his means, and is willing to show up on time every day can always support himself.

Your wife can get a job, too (if she doesn't have one already, I don't remember what that situation is).

It's when you have 2, 3, 4 etc. people who you have to support for a couple of decades, including providing them with the things they need to thrive (and which you owe them), that can be stressful. I'm a firm believer that if you bring kids into this world, there are certain things you owe them, and I'd die trying to give it to them. If I felt like I could not, that would eat me up.

But just you (or just me)? Pshaw. What's the worst that can happen? Pick up and move to Hawaii for a few years, live cheap and work in a hotel or bar on a beach somewhere. Billions and billions of people have survived on this earth, and you will too.

So, keep your head up, do whatcha gotta do, but don't worry about it so much.

[Rick Lee]

I'm not worried about starving. And if I get this house refi'ed and can sell the one in VA before anything bad happens, I'll have about $900 a month more in my pocket. But it might be the end of the year before my house in VA will be above water. If I get canned, it's gonna be hard to refi the primary residence. Mrs. Lee has a good job. My other concern is having just turned 42 and having to start another job/career. I know people do it every day, but I don't want to regress in income, lifestyle, security, etc.

[McLovin]

Why not just get the house refi'd now? There's no reason you should be paying more then 3.5%.

You can get a refi done, start to finish, in 15 days.

42 is still very young. People switch careers at that age all the time, often for the better.

Your wife having a good job, no children, those facts alone put you in a stronger financial position, by hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars, than most 42 year old men in this country. You've got it made!

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by McLovin

Why not just get the house refi'd now? There's no reason you should be paying more then 3.5%.

This is nuts, but we're literally days or weeks away from a few listings in the neighborhood closing, so as to bump the comps such that our house appraises for enough to drop the mortgage insurance. We're right on the line and I want to drop that $150/month charge in the refi.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

I feel for you -you're a good guy and you care about what you do. You're also smart enough to know this already but I'll say it anyway (sometimes it helps to have someone else tell us what we already know for validation). You are far too loyal to your job and your employer. They don't care one bit about you. You are expendable chattel to them. Move on - even if it is lateral - and don't look back.

Not all prisons have bars and it sounds as though you've allowed your comfort zone (facilitated by current employer) to become one for you. You have (like me, when I lived in CA a few years ago) had a really good run and been able to do amazing things and enjoy really incredible freedom through your job. But eventually reality catches up - it's not the same world anymore. There's no more money out there and the empires that were built on buying and selling (and hawking) stuff people really don't absolutely need to survive are long gone. I'm lucky to be doing utilitarian structures these days. It's boring and a bit unfulfilling but that's what we've inherited from the baby boomers - a world that's going to be much more dictated by necessity than desire.

I hope it all works out well for you. I hate to hear about people being anxious, worried and stressed-out but in my own experiences by the time you start really worrying about your job, it's already too late. You're probably already fired so I wouldn't feel any remorse in up and leaving.

All the best. I hope you make the most of whatever new adventures get spawned as a result of this.

[Aggie93]

I wrote two different replies yesterday that after typing, didn't seem to address the issue as well as I thought it would. I've had similar thoughts after our company was acquired and I'm now working for a company with almost 1,500 employees instead of 20. A lot of my career upside is gone without changing companies. This coupled with some golden handcuffs that keep me here for another couple years, I realized I've gotten content.

It sounds like you are (were) content with your current position, which was likely due to the company structure. You were not allowed to prospect to grow business and there is a negative feedback loop for hitting 100%+ of your goal. Life was good for you as long as you were able to keep existing clients reordering. It didn't sound like it was challenging until this year. Now, you realize you don't have much control over your business, and the company makes it difficult to grow it. Now that contentment is slipping away and you realize you want more than this company offers you.

To answer the original question; I have been trying to cut back on my work hours. I used to work 65-70 hours per week and I'd love to get that to 50-55. I have found that most issues that arise after 5:00 can wait until morning, but I like to have a heads up and be ready for it. I turn off work from when I leave the office until the kids go to bed (9:00ish). That gives me an hour to see if anything needs attention in the morning and time to get a running start.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by McLovin

You don't have kids, do you?

If not, what's there to worry about? You'll always be able to support yourself. Anyone who is of average intelligence, no criminal record, reasonably willing to live within his means, and is willing to show up on time every day can always support himself.

Your wife can get a job, too (if she doesn't have one already, I don't remember what that situation is).

It's when you have 2, 3, 4 etc. people who you have to support for a couple of decades, including providing them with the things they need to thrive (and which you owe them), that can be stressful. I'm a firm believer that if you bring kids into this world, there are certain things you owe them, and I'd die trying to give it to them. If I felt like I could not, that would eat me up.

But just you (or just me)? Pshaw. What's the worst that can happen? Pick up and move to Hawaii for a few years, live cheap and work in a hotel or bar on a beach somewhere. Billions and billions of people have survived on this earth, and you will too.

So, keep your head up, do whatcha gotta do, but don't worry about it so much.

I...I ...don't know where to start. You've got your rose colored glasses on today.