Borderline personality disorder

[GWN7]

My ex has it.

It explains a whole bunch of stuff about her.

Borderline personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



If I allow her to be around me I will have to put up with her drama and bull stuff which makes me the bad person because I can't/won't put up with orchestrated drama.

If I tell her to go pound sand then I'm the bad guy again because I've abandoned her.

I haven't talked to her in a year (which was fine with me) but our son is getting married and she popped up to cause stress in my life again.

I can't see a upside to this at all........

[drcoastline]

I feel for you brother. The mother of my daughter has it. She makes life a living hell on a daily basis.

[legion]

Had a college friend who had this. Some stories:

Once she stopped by my room two days before Thanksgiving and asked me if I needed a ride home the next day. (We had the same home town but were not friends in high school.) We agreed that we would leave at 3:00 the next day. When I stopped by her room at 3:00 the next day, her roommate informed me that she had left the day before. Apparently she had made the plans, and promptly driven home. She had made sure to suggest a time AFTER all of the trains and buses had left.

Once she invited herself to watch movies in my room. Then she invited herself to spend the night. Then she invited herself into my bed. Then she invited herself into my pants. I refused to go any further than could be accomplished with clothes on because I knew she was a psycho b**** and it would only make my life hell. I let her give me satisfaction and I stopped it. She had a boyfriend, whom I'm sure she called promptly afterwards to try to stir up trouble. I started the process of slowly extricating her from my life at this point. (I didn't want to do it too fast, as she was likely to go completely psycho if she caught on.)

Once she tried to get me and another male friend to fight each other over her. She called each of us up, one right after the other, and told us each that she felt uncomfortable and threatened by the other's advances. I called up my friend and we laughed about her stupid scheme. She was visibly upset when the next time the three of us were together and no one fought, let alone mentioned her scheme.

Once she tried to break up my now-wife and I when we first started dating. She told my wife that I was a closet coke head (never touched the stuff) and told me that she (now-wife) was trying to trap me into marriage by getting knocked up. We hadn't been intimate yet. The next morning, when she found out that we had not broken up (we talked it out and figured out the source of the rumors), she fled campus, and didn't stop until she was in Colorado. I never saw her again.

[Jeff Higgins]

Originally Posted by legion

I never saw her again.

I think she hangs out over on PARF.

[stomachmonkey]

Oh God.

Had a GF with it.

Used to ski minimum 100 days a year.

Was planning a trip to Argentina and she harassed the **** out of me that I'd promised to take her on a vaca before I disappeared on my next ski trip.

Fine, cancelled Argentina, (they were having elections and rioting in the streets so it was prudent anyway) and took her to Bermuda.

We check into our room and start to unpack. I turn around and she's sitting on the bed like a frightened 5 year old clutching a stuffed animal that she brought with her.

Asked, what's wrong?

"Why did you bring me to this strange place? I want to go home"

???????

Told her I was going down to the pool and she should call her mother (who could always talk her out of the tree). Then told her if she was still like this when I got back I was going to kill her, roll her under the bed, hang a do not disturb sign on the door and fly back home.

[9dreizig]

This is going to be a long thread..
Calling bigchillcar ......

[330]

At least 3 in PARF.

[livi]

My ex to. Borderline with psychopath nuances. Chilling experience.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by livi

My ex to. Borderline with psychopath nuances. Chilling experience.

Yeah, you, unfortunately, win this one hands down.

I'll never forget what you went through and I know I speak for many here that we are happy you did what you had to for you and your girls.

You da man.

[GH85Carrera]

A co-worker of mine was married to one of those. He had a 15 minute commute to the office. She would call almost evey day 12 or 13 minutes after he left the house and ask if he was there yet. She would call back in 5 minutes if he had not called her. It was hell to pay if he stopped at the dry cleaners or to get gas. She was just nucking futs.

[asphaltgambler]

In this instance I do believe this behavior is attributed more towards the female half of the population. I know from personal experience that there are some women who use their 'gina' for evil. Further that they have to create / manage constant drama and stress amongst those close to them largely for entertainment and to elevate their 'status' as the central figure in the 'group'.

I think it comes from insecurity, boredom and to some degree............... slight insanity.

[RacerX1166]

Ah yes, been there, done that. Ex-wife was undiagnosed BPD. She remained undiagnosed because she was beyond manipulative (BPD trademark) and didn't exhibit the uncontrolled rage associated with the disorder (unless she thought she could do it without others observing it). She was very high functioning. I didn't realize that what she had until I asked for a divorce. Then, the BPD behavior just rushed out of her. From stating she would punish me for blowing off my commitment to joining a dating site 4 days after.

She was the world master at gaslighting. Before I found out what that was, I just called it a Colleen. Gaslighting - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Fortunately, she left me alone after I made my assertion that she had BPD. Like most borderline's she refused to admit she had it but my bringing it to light hit a bit close to home for her.

BTW, there are some really good message boards for those who have/had a loved one with BPD. I was on one for a short period and it was incredibly validating to read posts from others that could have been a narrative of my own experiences.

[sc_rufctr]

So someone could have this and yet a lot of people who know them would never know because they appear normal or well adjusted.

[bivenator]

Originally Posted by 330

At least 3 in PARF.

The term you are looking for is multiple personality disorders. A multiple personality disorder usually allows for differing personalities within the same person. In the case of the PARF poster the personalities are all very similar, not a desirable trait.

[RacerX1166]

Originally Posted by sc_rufctr

So someone could have this and yet a lot of people who know them would never know because they appear normal or well adjusted.

Depends on who's looking at them. Outsiders? Yes. But family members / friends often know something is up because the illness dramatically impacts relationships. For example, my ex's entire family had, at one point or another, been estranged from her due to her constant lying.

And BPD is really tough to diagnose properly. I dated a girl who was a therapist and she told me her practice typically will perform assessments by multiple colleagues because of their ability to manipulate people. Funny thing is she was married to a borderline herself. We had lots of war stories to share.

[kach22i]

I was wondering why anyone would be attracted to such a person, then I read this.

Borderline personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

While people with BPD feel joy intensely, they are especially prone to dysphoria, or feelings of mental and emotional distress.

http://www.my-borderline-personality-disorder.com/2013/01/PMDD-PMS-BPD.html

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by kach22i

I was wondering why anyone would be attracted to such a person, then I read this.

Crazy sex followed by three hours of crying?

[GWN7]

When she wants to be she can be the sweetest, kindest person around. She knows all the right buttons to push (with me). Even when it's happening and my internal radar is going "Danger Will Robertson" I want to believe her bull stuff. It's like a out of body experience where you can see the train wreck happening.

Tomorrow is my dads funeral and I'm bent out of shape that she might show up.

[Bill Douglas]

All the best for your Dad's funeral - tough times, so hang in there.

Edit. If She turns up and tries to say anything. Just say "Sorry, but today isn't about you."

[LWJ]

Hmmm. I know these symptoms. I developed a very good crazy girl radar early in college. I steer far from this. I didnt know the name for this. Cool in a weird way to learn this.