Father Files Restraining Order Against 9-Year-Old for Alleged Bullying

[porwolf]

School wants to ignore a bullying situation, so father of 9 year old files a restraining order against another 9 year old:

KVNU

[onewhippedpuppy]

How about the father encourages his 9 year old to punch the bully in the mouth? Sorry, but these things don't go away with age. You either fight back or are forever a victim.

[fastfredracing]

When I was about 11 years old, I was a chubby little kid. A few older kids on the bus kept picking on me.
I came home from school one day in tears, and told my dad that a few of them had cornered me , pushed me around and one pulled out a pocket knife on me.
My fathers advice..... He told me to leave a large stick near the bus stop, and when I step off the bus tomorrow don't even give them a chance, grab that stick and beat that motherf^$% er to within an inch of his life. When he gets up, knock him down again, until he stops trying to get up, If any of his buddies step in, let them have the same treatment.
No one ever picked on me again after that day .
The boys father came to our house later that evening to have words with my father, and I remember my Dad telling the guy that if he did not leave right now, and ever stepped on our property again that he would take that same stick to him.
Times sure have changed ......

[onewhippedpuppy]

Fastfred that's a great story. I was a chubby little kid myself, so I learned those lessons the hard way. I've told my kids that I have their back if they get into trouble for either defending themselves or defunding someone else against a bully. Conversely, I've told them that I will personally beat them if I catch them bullying other kids.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

I've told my kids that I have their back if they get into trouble for either defending themselves or defunding someone else against a bully. Conversely, I've told them that I will personally beat them if I catch them bullying other kids.

Yup. Same here.

One day we were out at dinner with neighbors. The place had a big giant sand pit that the kids played in while the parents hung out on the deck.

My daughter who was 7-8 at the time came over to complain about some older boys who were knocking down the sand castles she and some other kids were building.

Told her if he does it again she should tell him to stop.

A bit later one of the neighbors goes Uh oh and points towards the kids.

Bully and his buds were making their way to my daughters group. Head bully says something to my daughter and she stands up and gives him a talking to.

The boy, who has a couple of inches and more than a couple of pounds on my daughter reaches out to shove her. She grabs his arms, pulls him off balance and throws him to the ground. Then she does an awesome WWF knee drop into his chest. She hops back up, bully rolls over to try and crawl away while she is kicking him in the ass.

I call her over and she says "Am I in trouble daddy" No baby, just some advice, 1 or 2 kicks would have been enough, go play.

[Crowbob]

There were guys in junior high who would whip down your gym shorts. We called it de-pantsing. One day they were really picking in this one dorky kid so I stood up for him.

Big mistake.

I'm all of a sudden the dork's BFF all the way through 1st year in college.

[HHI944]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

How about the father encourages his 9 year old to punch the bully in the mouth? Sorry, but these things don't go away with age. You either fight back or are forever a victim.

Sadly, this situation would have widespread repercussions in todays society.....when I was a freshman in high school I got bullied a lot.....until I kicked a bully in the jewels so hard he spit blood.....got suspended for 2 weeks and failed the semester because of it, but nobody picked on me again.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Quote de onewhippedpuppy

How about the father encourages his 9 year old to punch the bully in the mouth? Sorry, but these things don't go away with age. You either fight back or are forever a victim.

Sadly, this situation would have widespread repercussions in todays society.....when I was a freshman in high school I got bullied a lot.....until I kicked a bully in the jewels so hard he spit blood.....got suspended for 2 weeks and failed the semester because of it, but nobody picked on me again.

True, but I'll support doing what's right over doing what's politically correct any day. It cracks me up that there are actually commercials on tv advertising to stand up to bullying, but doing so will get your kid suspended. Amazing society we live in today....

[look 171]

What's sad is that the adults do it sometimes or allow it to happen. When I was a high school shop teacher, my classroom was out in the sticks near the field. The older boys on the football would take the weaker, younger, pencil necks to the back and let em' have it so they can toughen up or whatever the F they called it. The coach knew about it but turned a blind eye because of his star players should get away with murder. Since I was a part timer, I had no dog in the fight except I have personally seen it more then a few times (by lunch I was gone, so I am sure it happened more often after school) that it made me sick to my stomach. I talked with the little guys after but they never give up their names, and didn't know who they were. I finally got talking with "God" or the coach and he basically said he knew nothing about it and that I should f off and leave his players alone. I hear few others made noise about it over the years, but it went to def years. I called up an old friend who was an investigator for the LAPD to come and have a visit with the coach. He made up a story about his young kid who was bullied by his players and he was going to make heads turn. He also showed up at football practice that afternoon. It put an end to that immediately. He later told me that coach was a real pussy after he mention investigation and lawsuit. Too bad it had to be that way.

[Bill Douglas]

Good skills Look 171.

When I started high school I was a big kid for my age and had a very posh accent having come from a rich part of another town. The big bullies at the school picked on me but what they didn't know was my dad used to beat the schit of of me most days as a child so I was used to taking a beating plus knew how to throw king hit punches. Man did I make life hell for the bullies at that school. My buddy Alan and I used to hunt them down a beat the living daylights out of them at lunch times and ambush them on their way home. There were lots of complaints but the teachers never believed the stories about the, two years younger, white kid beating up the bad kids.

[look 171]

I just can't stand seeing little kids getting an ass whooping for just being themselves. I was usually the smaller kid in school, but I had a mouth on me, so most of them left me alone. I got picked on just like every 7th graders by the older 9th graders boys, but it wasn't too bad. I figured I just have to run a little faster then the kid next to me when chased by a bear, that was what really saved me in the 7th grade. Let em' go to work on the next guy.

[look 171]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

Good skills Look 171.

When I started high school I was a big kid for my age and had a very posh accent having come from a rich part of another town. The big bullies at the school picked on me but what they didn't know was my dad used to beat the schit of of me most days as a child so I was used to taking a beating plus knew how to throw king hit punches. Man did I make life hell for the bullies at that school. My buddy Alan and I used to hunt them down a beat the living daylights out of them at lunch times and ambush them on their way home. There were lots of complaints but the teachers never believed the stories about the, two years younger, white kid beating up the bad kids.

Tell me about the white kid thing? What where the other ethnic groups downunder?

[Bill Douglas]

Maori and Samoan. The Maori kids hated us white kids and the Samoans loved everyone. A few Asian kids when I was at school now they seem to be the major ethnic group in Auckland. Nice people and tend to work hard. Small groups of Somali (refugees) who don't tend to integrate into society. AND some Americans. They are hard to spot these days as they wear the same jeans and tshirts as the rest of us

[look 171]

You mean we don't have long shorts with white tube socks up to our knee, brand new white tennis shoes and a fanny pack to hold our passports?

Maoris are the Aborigines in NZ? The local boys give the white Americans a hard time in Hawaii also.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Our indoctrination system (d/b/a "educational system") teaches a victim mentality, subservience and dependence on the system, NOT self-reliance and personal strength (of character, of mind or of body).

And we wonder why our once-powerful nation is going right down the toilet...

One of the smartest lessons (IMHO) to teach kids is that there will always be some people smaller/weaker than them and there will always be some people bigger/stronger than them. They have a responsibility for kindness and compassion for the former and need to be aware that there is always a potential threat from the latter - necessitating friendship, diplomacy, civility and good manners - and where necessary a willingness to stand up to them, even if it means a thrashing.

[berettafan]

Agree with POP and Stomach on what should be the guiding light here.

Told my 9yr old you NEVER start it else you suffer my wrath. Also told him to respect himself and if anyone ever hits him you hit back hard enough that he doesn't want to do it again.

Also told him to avoid people that don't respect themselves. Not something he'll understand entirely right now but eventually my hope is it helps him avoid a lot of crappy situations in his life.

Seems a school should be subject to civil liability if they order a child not to defend himself and said child gets a beating from a bully. The school, by punishing kids for defending themselves, is taking the responsibility of keeping bullies at bay. When they fail they should pay.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by berettafan

Seems a school should be subject to civil liability if they order a child not to defend himself and said child gets a beating from a bully. The school, by punishing kids for defending themselves, is taking the responsibility of keeping bullies at bay. When they fail they should pay.

That's an interesting angle. If they remove the ability for kids to protect themselves, they should be responsible for doing so. Which we all know is totally unrealistic, there's no way that a few teachers can effectively police hundreds of kids. Furthermore, the last thing that I want to teach my kid is to let others take care of him. Nice socialist training there.....

[GH85Carrera]

I was personally 50% of the Haole population in Waipahu middle schoool. Not even Chuck Norris could whip an entire school of mokes. There was only one teacher in the entire school that would stop the mokes from tormenting me. The principal was useless. I had endless fights with three particular boys that made it their mission to pick on me. I was realy happy when we moved to Hickam and I changed schools to Radford. Going to a "normal" high school was heaven. Even the next year when we moved to Montgomery, AL. That school was 60% black. No problems at all.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by berettafan

Seems a school should be subject to civil liability if they order a child not to defend himself and said child gets a beating from a bully. The school, by punishing kids for defending themselves, is taking the responsibility of keeping bullies at bay. When they fail they should pay.

Agreed.

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

That's an interesting angle. If they remove the ability for kids to protect themselves, they should be responsible for doing so. Which we all know is totally unrealistic, there's no way that a few teachers can effectively police hundreds of kids. Furthermore, the last thing that I want to teach my kid is to let others take care of him. Nice socialist training there.....

And also agree, our kids need to learn to protect themselves.

I agree with Beretta that if the ability is removed from them beyond their control then the entity that removes that ability assumes responsibility for it and needs to be held accountable.

I believe school policies that punish a kid simply defending himself are due in some part to the school admins being pussies. Much easier to have these policies as it makes their lives easier. They don't have to confront and deal with the situation.

Back in my 9th-10th year HS we had a dean, Mr Ratto. He was a former amateur boxer and one look at his nose and cauliflower ears conformed it. He always liked a good fight. If he came upon one in the schoolyard he'd let it go a round or two but always break it up before someone got really hurt.

Had these friends, Danny and Dennis, fraternal twins, Danny was much larger than Dennis. One day someone put a beating on Dennis for no reason. The guy gets hauled into Mr Rattos office. Danny hears what happened, storms into Rattos office and drags the guy into the halllway and beats the crap out of him, all with Mr Ratto watching and letting things work themselves out. Rattos philosophy was Danny was going to go at it with this kid somewhere / sometime and he preferred they worked it out in an environment that he could control instead of out on the street after school.

[Sunroof]

You folks with young children let me pass on a lesson to you regarding bullying.

My son who turns 34 this May was the victim of bullying in high school many years ago. Our dog passed away and this young man kept saying things in class (before the teacher came in) about the dog among other nasty things toward my son. My son came home every day frustrated, angered and wanted nothing less then to hurt this kid. This contiunued for weeks and it turned out that they were both competing for a spot on the freshman soccer team. This other kid was probably prodded by his father to press.

I talked to my son every night for being a man for restraining himself, as violence is never the answer. But I also emphasized that he would be a bigger man to overcome it. In other words I was giving him parental approval to deck this kid. As my dad used to say, "your a man to walk away from a fight but your a bigger man to overcome it". And so that wisdom was passed on to the next generation.

He caught the kid after school waitng at the bus stop and found the courage to haul off and hit him in the face. He hit him so hard he fractured his orbital bone below the eye which required a few days in the hospital.

What transpired next was a visit from the police, a day in court, a civil law suit and absolute hell.

In juvenille court the Judge realized the bullying and harassment and was very disturbed with the behavior of the kid and layed into the parents for allowing the behavior toward my son. My son who openly apologized was given a verbal lashing for the violent behavior. My son received probation and learned that violence was not the answer. That was a valuable lesson going forward in his life.

The lessons here are simple: As much as we hate bullies and as much as we want to protect our children, in this day and age violence is never the answer. We are a very litigious society and I would bet any bully who gets his just deserts with a whollop to the body could turn it around as being the "victim" despite the provocation. The bully does have parents and you never know if these parents can truley be reached, i, e, will they take responsibilty for their childs actions or press charges if the kid who is bullied takes on a physical and hurtful response.

I am inclined to believe that the best course of action is a restraining order or pursuance of legal action against the parents.

In my youthful days hauling off and smashing that bully in the school yard was quite acceptable. Today, its another story and one that demands that parents of victims do not go off half cocked and ensure that the bully is beaten to a bloody pulp as much as we would love to see it.

I needed to pass on this experience to help hot heads stay cool.

I am a 66 year old father and grandfather and I hope this helps someone to make the right decision.

Bob