Originally Posted by wdfifteen (Post 8788379)

they?

Originally Posted by wdfifteen (Post 8788410)

This isn't universally true. I feel so sorry for women who see it this way. I feel sorry for their families too.

After 11 years my wonderful wife still occasionally has the physical symptoms - night sweats, mood swings, etc but she understands it and has adopted a Zen attitude towards it. She feels the complete opposite of "destroyed physically." She actually welcomes being free of the burden of no longer needed fertility. There were some rough years, but she has come out on the other side happier and hornier than ever. In her early 60s she is enjoying the happiest years of her life. And so am I.

Originally Posted by IROC (Post 8779632)

You've obviously never been through a divorce. ;)

Originally Posted by fintstone (Post 8788412)

I am unsure what you are asking. Can you be a bit more specific?

Originally Posted by fintstone (Post 8788354)

Yes, I am very careful about what I post

Originally Posted by wdfifteen (Post 8788580)

That was an incredulous "they" in response to your statement “If they couldn't pick a fight in this thread, it would be in another. “ You apparently don’t recognize yourself as a frequent participant in and instigator of PPOT and PARF pissing matches.

Originally Posted by wdfifteen (Post 8788580)

That was an incredulous "they" in response to your statement “If they couldn't pick a fight in this thread, it would be in another. “ You apparently don’t recognize yourself as a frequent participant in and instigator of PPOT and PARF pissing matches.

Originally Posted by fintstone (Post 8788659)

but I will respond in kind.

Originally Posted by SilberUrS6 (Post 8788630)

He pretends that he is not deliberately trolling. After getting the desired response, he plays the victim, turns it personal in order to make it about another poster, rather than the topic at hand. This is a consistent theme in his posting pattern.

Originally Posted by SilberUrS6 (Post 8785326)

Don't confuse him with facts. He knows what's best, and exactly what you're doing wrong. LOL.

His tiny window on real life is all the view he needs. If it works for him, then it's your fault if his way doesn't work for you, even if your circumstances are completely different and his way is not applicable. Of course, you have to sign up for the rigid dogma, or you're lost from the get-go.

Originally Posted by SilberUrS6 (Post 8788672)

'But, but -they MADE me do it!'

Welcome to grade school.

Originally Posted by SilberUrS6 (Post 8785296)

Then you need to grow up...

Originally Posted by Iciclehead (Post 8785247)

I don't disagree with Fint, he has strong points and certainly I take my commitment seriously.

I do worry greatly though about the other side of the menopausal fence.....it is all great for us guys to sit hear and complain about the change in their lives, but clearly, there is the woman's viewpoint.

I worry that, in the cases mentioned here including my own where there has been a real and material negative change in the relationship, that the woman wakes up in the morning and says the same thing as john70t....they, like us, no longer share common interests with this old fart that they wake up to, who plays with mechanical toys, who does not seem to have the good sense that God gives a goose....heavens, we play with OLD GERMAN CARS for heavens sake.

What to do then?

Look, I love my wife, I love her enough to stay with her but I also love her enough to set her free from the yoke and burden that I may be for her. I just would hate to get to the pearly gates and speak to her and find out that she was as unhappy as I was and she was waiting for me to quit when, in some respects, I am waiting for her to quit.

I don't know the answer to this unfortunately, but I will continue to ponder, pray and probably prevaricate.

Dennis

Originally Posted by fintstone (Post 8785283)

I just can't believe that...absent cheating or similar, that through compromise and hard work...things cannot be worked out. From your posts in PARF, you are clearly a brilliant and thoughtful person. I cannot imagine that you cannot find a way to break through whatever it is that divides you. I do not believe that it is only menopause as many women endure menopause and emerge seemingly better for it. I suspect that even the most prolific of us have a bit less sex after decades of marriage...but intimacy should not end at menopause. It seems to me that there might possibly be a medical condition if there is a marked change. My wife (and most women I know) seem little different after menopause than before...except a bit more even tempered throughout the month. I assume you have talked to her about this...

Originally Posted by fintstone (Post 8788354)

Yes, I am very careful about what I post and expect to not to be intentionally misquoted. That should certainly be a banning offense as it is patently dishonest. It is bad enough to have to defend oneself here from personal attacks from folks who disagree with the things I actually post, much less fabrications of what I post.

I just don't understand some of you. A fellow asked for advice on a personal matter. Page after page of advice is proffered. Some probably good, some probably bad...some humorous. All is heartfelt, honestly trying to help...or find solutions for themselves. People digging deep into what may be uncomfortable feelings/experiences of their own, trying to help. Suddenly you and a couple of others find the thread and start posting. Not because you have good advice on the problem or anything of value, but rather, because you hold a grudge with one of the other posters and see an opportunity to make a personal attack on them. At first, they ignore you...but eventually, the other poster responds in self defense. As always, you totally ruin the thread. The topic changes totally. Other posters chime in with their attacks in revenge for previous slights or lost arguments. Then others start whining about how the thread has become "PARFed up"...amazingly enough, even you who "PARFed "it up. It doesn't matter if it is a political discussion on PARF or an air conditioning discussion in the technical forum. You totally disregard the topic and attack one of the other posters (because in their trying to help, they may have exposed something personal or made a mistake that you feel leaves them vulnerable). If you treat folks that are not anonymous internet personas this way, it is little wonder you seem so bitter. Why not just post what you think about the topic...and not other posters?

Originally Posted by cockerpunk (Post 8788728)

so to you, telling me that i should go back to living in my parents basement, is not totally NOT ruining the thread?

cause that is where this got personal. before that there wasn't a personal insult to be found. i didn't PARF the thread, you had no response to my argument about advice on relationships other than to make a common, and false, personal insult.

Originally Posted by Crowbob (Post 8784290)

I won't waste precious electrons by quoting fint's post #72. I will paraphrase, however:

"Hello, my name is fint and I am a pet husband who enjoys wearing a shock collar."

Originally Posted by cockerpunk (Post 8784926)

hahaha

we agree on something crowbob, we agree on something. :D

Originally Posted by Jim Richards (Post 8788632)

Hey guys, isn't it about time for a kumbaya moment?

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vo9AH4vG2wA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Originally Posted by fintstone (Post 8788742)

Actually no. This was your first post in this thread (no one was talking to you or had insulted you at this point). Don't write checks that you don't want cashed (and don't misquote me):