sure to be a hotbutton issue: dontmarry.wordpress.com

[cockerpunk]

maybe a bit over the top, but i tend to agree with most of it.

https://dontmarry.wordpress.com/

[winders]

Pure cynicism!

If you want grow old alone, follow that advice.

[aschen]

I just skimmed it but it doesn't seem like a particularly well done version of this subject. Nomarriage.com I recall was a funny read but I cant see it now at work.


We all know people that claim to have these subjects completely figured out, they know exactly why having kids is stupid or why not having kids is stupid. Perhaps they think the bachelor lifestyle is the best or the worst, and they are going to convince you of the same. These are all personal choices that pretty much arnt governed by logic. Live and let live.

[MBAtarga]

Already discussed:

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-politics-religion/864099-marriage-what-good.html

[dafischer]

What a load of crap.

[Baz]

A happy wife is a happy life.

That's the important thing to remember.

The husband being happy.....who cares?

[Seahawk]

There are some nuggets in the article. There is an absolute double standard in divorce and the link was entertaining.

Marrying well, then the art of remaining married, requires a thoughtfulness beyond most. It is the single most important financial decision young people make and the one most done in error - imagine a 43% default rate on car loans.

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by Baz

A happy wife is a happy life.

That's the important thing to remember.

The husband being happy.....who cares?

that phrase sums it up rather well.

how about happy me, happy life.

[uncle_scott]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Marrying well, then the art of remaining married, requires a thoughtfulness beyond most.

I married too young at 21, but in June we will have been married 10 years. I would never advise to anyone getting married that young. I honestly did not know what I was getting into and I was not ready for the responsibility and the work it would take. Over the years we have grown a lot, learned a lot, and are generally different people than we were when we first married. It has been a conscious choice to stay married and work hard at maintaining a good relationship. We had a few years that were very rough, I made terrible mistakes, and both of us nearly jumped ship at different times. We worked through our issues and things are awesome now. Marriage is an exercise in teamwork and understanding. I often tell her that "I am happy when she is happy". I am also happy when I am happy, but I generally try to keep a smile on her face, and that makes my life easy.

[GH85Carrera]

I am real glad I did not see that type of article 25 years ago. I have been married that long and it was the single best thing I ever did.

[cockerpunk]

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

I am real glad I did not see that type of article 25 years ago. I have been married that long and it was the single best thing I ever did.

why is that?

[varmint]

90% of the complaints in that article can be solved with a good pre up.

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by cockerpunk

why is that?

I get to live and share my life with a great lady that I love. She is a big F1 fan. She loves football and basketball more than I do. She is super smart and has a great sense of humor. I can't imagine life without her. She puts up with my Porsche addiction and never questions what I spent on new tires or wheels or anything at all.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

As a disclaimer I didn't read the entire thing (about half and skimmed the rest) but I'll finish it tomorrow. It looks to be spot-on and extremely well-written. Many of the points discussed have been touched on here already. Their divorce rate stat is way low however - it's not 40% it's more like a 60% failure rate (I can get sources). Anyway, well written.

Marriage is a bad, bad, BAD idea especially if you're male and most especially if you're a male with assets (like a house), money and / or a business. If there are any "life lessons" I hope to ever get through to my kids it's that (1) they should believe in themselves, (2) they should stay in school and preferably get college educations, (3) learn the difference between "good" debt (mortgages, college loans, etc. are acceptable while car loans and credit cards are not) and (4) don't ever get married if you want to protect your income, wealth, retirement dreams and mental / psychological well-being. This goes for both boys and girls. It's simply a dead institution now and totally unnecessary. Little good can come from it while lots of harm can (and in a +/- 60% majority of cases, does).

Happiness is ultimately found in oneself, not in a label or a societal convention that's been usurped and destroyed by the legal services industry for its own selfish ends. If you're true to yourself you'll find that being "alone" is fulfilling and often means you're not really "alone" at all but comfortable with who you are and with the company of one or more other people in your life on YOUR terms. Much better situation IMHO.

More later - for now I need to get back to working on a new house design for a client (the money from which I'll be keeping as a single guy and probably using to fund a trip to the South Pacific later this year, thanks very much).

[Bill Douglas]

It all made sense to me.

[winders]

A really feel sorry for you guys. I've known several men that lived by the ideology promoted by PoP and died alone and quite lonely. No thanks.

The Truth About The Divorce Rate Is Surprisingly Optimistic

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Originally Posted by varmint

90% of the complaints in that article can be solved with a good pre up.

Child custody, child support* and in some states, waivers of alimony cannot be. A prenup will MAYBE protect money and physical assets to some extent but even then, only if it's written very well and defended (at great cost) in court.

Still a good idea but "not going there" at all is a much better one.

* State-sanctioned mysandry "for the children". If this sounds cynical, ask me about my friend who has lost almost half his income and his retirement plans to "child" support that his ex has used to buy (among other things) a timeshare, a Land Rover SUV, spa treatments and two vacations (one to Hawaii, one to Europe) WITHOUT the kids but with her new bf. He's been denied twice that I know of to even have the court hear the case - they won't even listen to it. I have a couple of other examples too.

[sc_rufctr]

The naysayers should actually read the article before commenting. As far as I'm concerned there's not a word of a lie in the whole thing.

I've seen financially irresponsible women get married to successful men and all of a sudden all is well.
I've also seen financially irresponsible single women suddenly come into an inheritance and soon after are driving an expensive car they can't afford to maintain. And of course there's very little or nothing left of the inheritance.

I know a woman personally who joined the local Ferrari owners club so she could "find a rich husband". In our local club these are mostly self made men. Guess how that turned out.

Even the hugely popular TV series "Sex In The City" had an episode about "Kerry" coming to the shocking realization that she had spent most of her money on designer bags and shoes.
If she had used that money to buy an apartment instead she would have owned it outright. ($600,000+ from memory)

IN MY OPINION... The problem with the Essay is that it tells the brutal truth and people just don't want to belive it.

[ckelly78z]

I too, skimmed the article rather than reading the entire angry manifesto. It really seemed like the misc ramblings of a jilted lover.......someone who put thier heart and soul into a marriage that was centered around her needs, not his.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by winders

Pure cynicism!

If you want grow old alone, follow that advice.

I'm not sure marriage changes the odds very much...for 50% of the married folks. I have large extended families with bunches of decades long marriages, and after one spouse dies then what?

BIG difference between being alone, and being lonely IMO....

People change...my longest relationship was almost ten years...SO GLAD that neither of us was interested in marriage however.

Take two to make a relationship work, and it's hard...only takes ONE to end a commitment though....and the odds are stacked against it lasting. We live longer and our modern lives are typically much more dynamic than prior generations IMO...reducing the odds even more.