bad parenting.

[vash]

i was thinking about my youth.

about my first job actually. i was the janitor at our church. an older guy was doing it, and he needed help. i helped him. work was everything..including the yard work. this was at a small chinese baptist church.

got me thinking about what my siblings did..my brother had two jobs in his entire life. he worked at a carwash for ONE DAY..and he is still on his current gig..big shot in the LEO business..he will be chief one day. he is good at his job.

sister..who knows..i cant remember.

however i do remember this. i was flush with cash.."flush" as a 15 year old kid meant a few bucks in my pocket. when i started work, my mom cancelled my very meager allowance for doing things around the house. call it "walking around money".

i remember my siblings bumming out because i was buying things..and they couldnt. my mom felt bad for them and raised their allowance. hahah..

my mom has very selective memory now. i wish she could remember half this crap. i wouldnt hammer her about it..she did what she thought was right..i love and cherish her. she did GREAT as a single mom..she kept me from going feral.

but damn..that move sucked. funny

[Sooner or later]

If rhat is yoirr worst complaint I would say you had damn good parenting.

[Evans, Marv]

Allowance? What was that?? I was paying rent by my junior year in H.S.

[Seahawk]

I had great parents. Without them there is a crime spree named after me.

Their one parental divot was they treated my sisters much differently than me - along the Vash line of thinking.

On our little ranch in Cali, they were the little Princesses of the Stable, I was Mongo the Stable Boy. I was the strong back and weak mind that had a list of chores every free minute. As my father was fond of saying to his half Spanish son: Manual Labor isn't the name of a Cuban jockey.

I honestly think I worked so hard at sports because it got me away from manure duty.

And yes, that is my only complaint; a weak, invalid accusation leveled against great parents I owe everything.

[wayner]

They were just kids in grown up bodies trying to do their best...

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by wayner

They were just kids in grown up bodies trying to do their best...

And...if she raised you with the ability to hold down a job and stay out of jail, she did her job damned well!

[GH85Carrera]

The other night we were watching some news report about another worthless meat bag that had reproduced. I mentioned to my wife how lucky we were to both have had loving parents. I never ever worried about having a meal, or a warm bed to sleep in. I had a lot of HOT beds since we did not have air conditioning until I was in high school. The school was not air conditioned so it was nice to come home to a cool house.

I was certainly spanked, of course it was always my brother's fault, not mine! But there was never any abuse. I never once saw my parents have a screaming argument like most movies and TV shows have. Dad never raised a hand except to give a hand up when I had fallen.

No doubt, I was a lucky dude to grow up in America, with parents that did their best, and made it look easy.

[wayner]

I had a policy with my own kids that let me be firm, but also easy going. It worked well. They are great kids and have accomplished a lot.

Here is an example of one policy that I had:

"YOU CAN BORROW THE CAR ON THE WEEKENDS AS LONG AS YOUR ROOM IS CLEAN"

Dad, can I borrow the car?

Me - is your room clean?

No, but I'll clean it tomorrow

Me - I'd like to lend you the car. If it was up to me I would, but we've got this POLICY.

Give me a break, just this one time, please!

Me- I would if I could, but there's this policy. Sorry, my hands are tied. I'd really like you to have the car though.

*^$^& ARG! - ok, I'll clean up my room

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by vash

i remember my siblings bumming out because i was buying things..and they couldnt. my mom felt bad for them and raised their allowance. hahah..

Cute story.

Mom's know how to balance and weigh.

Mine told me that she was pregnant with me when she saw Elvis in 1956 in Toledo. I thought that was the coolest thing. I was born in August. Elvis played there in November (I found out post internet).

Why did she "lie"? To make me feel good, I suspect.

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by NotaBRG

Bob, maybe was = got?

Edit: Unless the August and November were the same year.. If it was Nov '56 and you were born Aug '57 then, well, um.... Maybe 'got' is correct.

All in 56.

My Dad woulda been furious if that ('57) were the case. He was away with the military

Doubly furious if it was Elvis. However, I'd be much better looking.

[legion]

I had chores growing up. It was my job to feed the cat and dog, walk the dog three times a day (once before school, once after school, and once after dinner), mow the lawn, take out the cat litter, and shovel the driveway. Merely being reminded of one of my duties was grounds for at least a week of grounding. I got an allowance for about three weeks at $1 a week (roughly 1990) and again for a few weeks in 1993 at $3 a week. If I asked for money when going out with my friends I was always told "no". I was expected to buy Christmas presents and birthday presents for other family members, and my only source of money was birthday money--so I usually ended up spending my birthday money on presents for other family members throughout the year (if my sister or father didn't steal the money from me). In 1994, sophomore year of high school, I got a job against my parent's wishes and finally had some money.

My sister had no chores. Ever. She got paid the same allowance I did for the same brief periods. Because she never had to be reminded to do chores (as she didn't have any) she rarely got grounded. (I was grounded frequently.) If she asked for money for going out with her friends, she usually got it. She never bought gifts for other family members. She stole my birthday money when she found it. She didn't get a job until after graduating from high school. After I got a job, she would occasionally steal my checkbook and write herself checks. I bought a lock box to keep my check book and loose cash in. She stole the lock box and hid it.

[DanielDudley]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

I had great parents. Without them there is a crime spree named after me... parents I owe everything.

Yep. My dad was hard on me. Looking back, I'm not surprised.

[svandamme]

My mum married 3 times, has 3 kids from different dads, not one of them got raised by their own dad.

I was the first one, thinking Vandamme was my real dad, he kept joking i was from the mailman.

At 12 she divorced that pos, and then when he kept asking me to go live with him, basically using me to get to her..
she casually mentions , "oh he's not your real dad anyway".

I still wanted to go live with him cause she was cray cray. when she finally said, ok.
he said, well I haven't got time for you.

Obviously I ended up with some psycholigist because I was starting to act out badly.
Bi weekly counceling, after 2 months, at night I sleep walk down stairs,
wake up to see the psychologist having a go at my mum.
So much for every trusting anyone again in life.

I got loads more stories like that if you really wanna talk about "bad parenting"

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by svandamme

I got loads more stories like that if you really wanna talk about "bad parenting"

I was a lucky SOB with the folks I got. Far from perfect. Got my ass whipped way to hard.

Mind you, to be fair, he said cut the grass before he got home from work on one occasion. I decided that's not what I wanted to do that particular afternoon.........

[varmint]

Originally Posted by wayner

I had a policy with my own kids that let me be firm, but also easy going. It worked well. They are great kids and have accomplished a lot.

Here is an example of one policy that I had:

"YOU CAN BORROW THE CAR ON THE WEEKENDS AS LONG AS YOUR ROOM IS CLEAN"

Dad, can I borrow the car?

Me - is your room clean?

No, but I'll clean it tomorrow

Me - I'd like to lend you the car. If it was up to me I would, but we've got this POLICY.

Give me a break, just this one time, please!

Me- I would if I could, but there's this policy. Sorry, my hands are tied. I'd really like you to have the car though.

*^$^& ARG! - ok, I'll clean up my room

Almost daily argument I have with the step daughter. And the wife isn’t backing me up. Infuriating.

[flatbutt]

My folks were OLD SCHOOL Siciliano. Well Mom was Napolitana but she converted. Dad was fond of using a leather strap and his fists on us. Until I challenged him at the ripe old age of 13. But still he did his best. We weren't hungry or cold. And my kids can thank him for the fact that the only thing I ever raised to my kids were my eyebrows.

[LakeCleElum]

Happiest day of my life: At age 15 I got a job working 7 days a week at a gas station. 3 hrs after school, 6 hrs Sat and 8 on Sunday......Got me out of farm chores and church.....Saved enough for 2 motorcycles and a pretty new. Graduated with enough for the first 2 years college in the bank.

Allowance, what's that?

[onewhippedpuppy]

I grew up relatively poor, and didn't have the greatest relationship with my parents. I grew into a much different person than them, and I don't think they ever really understood it. I would describe my relationship today as amicable, we get along great and they have a good relationship with my kids, but we still don't have a lot in common. I do envy those that are genuinely close to their parents, and hope that I'm building that relationship with mine.

[Alan A]

Originally Posted by varmint

Almost daily argument I have with the step daughter. And the wife isn’t backing me up. Infuriating.

Consider a new wife.
It'll get worse over time.