admit to your stupidity

[cerberus1]

OK, OK here goes...

Many years ago, I was twenty years old, attending college in Denver. My girlfriend (future wife, future ex-wife) and I decided on a road trip to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Trip goes well and we're driving back to Denver in my '68 4-door Nova. Being young and possessed of more stamina than sense, we decide not to stop for the night, but drive straight through. So far so good.

Now it's four a.m., coming up to Fort Collins, 90 miles from Denver. I'm driving, girlfriend/future wife/future ex-wife is asleep in the back seat under a small mountain of down sleeping bags (remember this detail, it's important).

I need to stop (as in REALLY need to stop) to take a leak. Fortunately, there is a rest stop up ahead. Nothing else around for miles. No other cars either. I pull into the rest stop. No sound from the back seat. Girlfriend doesn't wake up, doesn't even stir. I spend the necessary amount of time in the lav divesting myself of used coffee and return to the car. Again, future wife makes no sound, doesn't even stir (remember this detail, too).

I get back on the road and finish the drive to Denver. Pull into the driveway and proudly announce "We're home!" Once again, future ex wife makes no sound, doesn't even stir. I reach into the back seat under the mound of sleeping bags... No one there!

Seems she had gotten out at the rest stop too and come back out just in time to see me drive off. Spent the next three hours wondering how long it would take me to find out she wasn't there.

Yes, she was still there when I got back, yes, she was REAL glad to see me, and yes, I took a lot of grief for it over the next 25 years.

[tmalaret]

Yesterdat I was reinstalling the valve housing and intercooler on a 930 and for some STUPID reason took the rag out of the turbo pipe before I should have and dropped a washer. Now I cannot find it and I have fished a magnet into the turbo with no washer to be found. I am currently being haunted!!

[Porsche_monkey]

Someone I work with hot wired his brothers Daytona Superbee (years ago) and took it for a drive. Unfortunately the throttle stuck, but since he hot wired it he couldn't shut the engine off.

He had to brake to a stop, at full throttle, out the cat in neutral, at full throttle, and run out and lift the hood to kill the engine. Or so he claims.

[tmalaret]

Originally posted by tmalaret
Yesterdat I was reinstalling the valve housing and intercooler on a 930 and for some STUPID reason took the rag out of the turbo pipe before I should have and dropped a washer. Now I cannot find it and I have fished a magnet into the turbo with no washer to be found. I am currently being haunted!!

FOUND IT!..."Boy I will never be that stupid again"

[averyhabbott]

Where to start?

Went against Pelican's advice and ordered fuel filter without looking at the number on it.

Drained 11 quarts of oil into an 6 quart oil pan.

After spending 45 minutes trying to take off spark plugs without a magnetic socket, decided it would be just fine to install them without one.

Tried doing a rolling start a few times (to no avail, 100% dead battery) down the short hill from my old house. When that didn't work, I had my buddy towing me back up the hill with the rope hooked up to the considerably thin tow hook on my 80 SC, and decided to pop the clutch again in a last-ditch effort. Snapped the hook off and clipped the front A/C radiator, sealing the fate of my already slightly broken A/C system, which is now all in boxes.

Spent $15,500 on my first p-car. Without a PPI. While I was in Iraq. With no way of getting to the car for nearly 6 months.

First time driving my p-car, didn't notice that there was no spring to push the shifter back to the middle, and nearly killed the car with a 3rd to 2nd "upshift". Oops!

Ordered a bunch of tubing to replace the heater hoses without actually looking at what temperature that stuff gets to. The hoses I bought are only rated to 180 degrees F.

Last but not least, took the wife's advice while working on her car (never will take her advice on cars again), and got p'ed off and yanked the heater core out instead of double-checking my work. Small hole left in the firewall, but it's plugged up with expanding foam ;-)

I'm sure there will be more later.

[red67]

what a brilliant thread

my sister had a funny story last year, she's such an airhead, she makes me smile all the time with her antics...

to get to work she drives to her nearest train station (which is a long way so a drive is essential) and she takes the train on from there.

that evening after a gruelling day at work on returning to her car (a crappy renault thing) she finds it wont start. she calls her fiance and waits, he arrives in no time. he gets out of his car and checks her car, dumps his jacket in her passenger seat and grabs a toolkit and a set of overalls they keep in her car (it breaks a lot). after giving it a once over he finds out the battery is dead, she guesses she's left the lights on in the morning and drained the battery. (doh).

so its a simple fix. he bump starts her and it has enough life to get a spark and as it fires into life she drives off concentrating on not letting it stall. the car gets her home safely despite the now pouring rain from the heavens.

getting into the house she curls up on the sofa with a tv microwave dinner, gets cosy, flicks on the tv and falls asleep in no time (despite the storms outside), while thinking her fiance has popped by the local bar for a quick beer, which is not out of the ordinary.

two hours later shes awoken by an exhausted soaked overall clad fiance hammering at the door. she'd driven off with his car keys, wallet and cell phone in his jacket.

they are now married despite that (and numerous other adventures usually resulting in pain and detrimental effects to him.)

must be true love.



it runs in the family - my first (of many) stupid mechanical exploits started at the age of 17 while changing a rocker cover gasket on my first rustbucket car. resting my wrench across battery terminals became my first fireworks show/welding experience combined.

[Porsche_monkey]

I did some reno-work for a local doctor. She said "I'll leave you a key under the doormat".

I get there, no key. I call her office. 'Oh, sorry, I left it under the mat inside the door".

She's out there writing prescriptions.

[safe]

Originally posted by PBH
I did some reno-work for a local doctor. She said "I'll leave you a key under the doormat".

I get there, no key. I call her office. 'Oh, sorry, I left it under the mat inside the door".

She's out there writing prescriptions.

Lets just hope she's not forgetting other things on the inside, like surgical tools!

[Porsche_monkey]

No surgery, fortunately. Let's just say she's 'book smart'.

[fly4val]

Twice....

1958 Pontiac Bonneville in Denver. Just came home form second tour in 'nam..decided to rebuild the carb around noon, had a hot date that evening...as I was sure I knew what I was doing, didnt follow the instructions....stop me if you've heard this one before...gut the carb, Gunk it....wont start on its own but okay above idle. Took to the good guys at Carburetor-Electrical on Broadway in Denver. The senior wrench opens the hood and says looks like someone just overhauled it...yeah right..'my buddy'....he removes it and pulls it apart...guess what, accelerator pump is minus the cup and the spring...major red face on this but led to a nice date with a great lady...

Two...spent three months putting a '63 SW Corvette back together after it had been stolen and stripped of the engine/trans.

Built the first ever (in Denver) destroked SBC 377CID and acustome geared Super T-10. My bud and I started putting it back together on Christmas eve about 6PM. Got the engine, less heads and tranny slid into the car then started adding everything else, heads, w/p, headers, radiator,etc...finished about 10PM, engine would turn about a 1/4" and lock up. Pulled it back down to short block status searching for interference between then new slant plug heads and 12.5 TRW pop ups....no contact anywhere...though maybe a nut or something had gone down into the valley and into the cam..nope, thankfuly, reassembled went through the whole reassembly drill and ready again about 0200..Christmas day...same sit same results, tore it down again when my bud Bob finally says....is the tranny screwed up? Nope, I said bravely...we reassembled it for the last time and Bob says.when ya go to start it...put the clutch in....engine fires right up until I let out the clutch....guess what....locked in two gears at the same time...oh major duh!!!!

I hd open headers and let it run for 30 minutes in the basement of the apt building to let the cam break in...gawd it was sweet....guess everyone was gone for the holidays as not a single person complained....

My buddy Bob goes slinking home about 0600...just in time to greet his kids and open Xmas presents...oh heavy sigh.....

[GH85Carrera]

This is one of the best threads I have come across. Several funny posts are very much like the Three Stooges. Maybe that is why I laughed so much. I really don't have a solid bonehead story to achieve the level of some of the stories in this thread.

About the closest thing I can remember off hand happened back in 1976 or 1977. I was cleaning some parts with gasoline which worked great. The part was clean but I had a small cup of dirty gasoline and no place to store it. There was a storm drain close by but I did not want to just dump gas in the drainage system so I figured I would just drop a match in there to burn out that gas. Fortunately I was smart enough to know it might have some decent flames. I guess making a 30 foot tower of flame qualifies and a moment of panic. The good news is that there was not much gas and little or no other stuff to burn. The flames went out quickly. One neighbor lady came out and asked if there was a fire back there and I of course said "Fire, what fire?"

I would never ever do that now days. It is just way stupid to use gas to clean parts. That showed me just how flammable gas really is.

[dshepp806]

Originally Posted by cerberus1

OK, OK here goes...

Many years ago, I was twenty years old, attending college in Denver. My girlfriend (future wife, future ex-wife) and I decided on a road trip to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Trip goes well and we're driving back to Denver in my '68 4-door Nova. Being young and possessed of more stamina than sense, we decide not to stop for the night, but drive straight through. So far so good.

Now it's four a.m., coming up to Fort Collins, 90 miles from Denver. I'm driving, girlfriend/future wife/future ex-wife is asleep in the back seat under a small mountain of down sleeping bags (remember this detail, it's important).

I need to stop (as in REALLY need to stop) to take a leak. Fortunately, there is a rest stop up ahead. Nothing else around for miles. No other cars either. I pull into the rest stop. No sound from the back seat. Girlfriend doesn't wake up, doesn't even stir. I spend the necessary amount of time in the lav divesting myself of used coffee and return to the car. Again, future wife makes no sound, doesn't even stir (remember this detail, too).

I get back on the road and finish the drive to Denver. Pull into the driveway and proudly announce "We're home!" Once again, future ex wife makes no sound, doesn't even stir. I reach into the back seat under the mound of sleeping bags... No one there!

Seems she had gotten out at the rest stop too and come back out just in time to see me drive off. Spent the next three hours wondering how long it would take me to find out she wasn't there.

Yes, she was still there when I got back, yes, she was REAL glad to see me, and yes, I took a lot of grief for it over the next 25 years.

That has to be one of the funniest ones I've read, yet. Having reread many pieces of this ongoing thread, I find myself gasping for air, laughing out-of-control,............I can only put myself in cerberus1's shoes,.....holy cow. I could only imagine the amount of adrenalin surge upon discovery. Completely: FUNNY AS HELL......

Best,

Doyle

[trentwat]

I just rebuilt my front brakes over the weekend...as anyone who has done this knows, you line up the piston in a particular direction/angle -lining up a cut-out on the piston with an imaginery line through the caliper (creating 20 degree angle). After a full day of working on the car, I was excited to complete this task and be done. I did the entire project (first time) in about 1.5 hours.

While in bed and reviewing the work I had done that day, I realized the completed calipers had both been facing the same direction on the ground and that the cut-outs were both oreinted the same way...oops.

So, the next day, I set about reversing this situation. I quickly looked at both calipers. First eyeballing the diagram/schematic, and then then the calipers. I then picked up a caliper and fixed the issue. And, as I was setting my work back down, to go on to the next project, I glanced again at the diagram. DAMN IT....I fixed the one that didn't need fixin'!!!!! Needless to say, I will be able to confidently repair my calipers in the future!

[Hugh R]

A few months ago I was redoing a shower in my guest bathroom. Tore out the fiberglass stall and put in backer board, cut holes for the faucets, etc. Started tiling and my son comes in and says "Hey Dad, where's the hole in the wall for the shower head?" Oops! Fortunately I had only done one or two rows of tile.

[robert walsh]

I was 14 years old, dad let me buy an old chevy corvair to race on a dirt track on our property, one day in reverse i hit a tree, no real damage but reverse was gone. So , mid december, in my 14 year old mentallity I decieded, with the car running for heat, i spent an hour and a half, fileing away at the metal shroud at the base of the shifter so it could go furter over an catch reverse, it worked, got out of the car and passed out from cabon monoxide intake, a friend was their and got me up and moving, never saw a doctor, ofcourse. Ralph Nader where were you???

[robert walsh]

P.S. The above was a '61 aircooled, where did I get the porsche bug from?? Graduated to a '59 356 cab a few years later.

[ALXinNZ]

MMMMMM

After rebuiding a race engine with a mate and a few Ale's one Saturday. (Nissan fj24) We decided to set up the cam timing before calling it a night. While turning the engine over manually it siezed...... WTF! . Never leave rags over the top of your cams while timing they will eat them.......

Same car finished and prepped for first race of season. We always start it before loading so were rapped when it burst into life (as it should) Problem arose when the throttle was used and the engine just coughed and spluttered and would not rev. (Didn't stall though)
Out with the lap top and no issues were apparent. We checked everything visual and obvious and the pressure was on as we needed to leave for the race meeting.
Then my heart sank as I realised what was wrong.... Removing the aircleaner so I could pull the rag I left protecting the turbo was very embarrasing, It went good after that though.

My work collegue who raced porsches was a little busy on the day I inspected and purchased my first Porsche (rhd 71t coupe). I was like a school kid and couldnt pay the money quick enough. Long story short I sold the tub for $20 to the scrap dealer.

And finally A few years ago After a successful race meeting and 10 hours of driving round trip We discovered the trailer was not attached proplerly to the tow vehicle. It was just sitting on the tow ball with the locking latch up (bad)

alx

[Jagshund]

A few days after purchasing my '68L I went through all of the wiring, hoses, etc. and made any repairs necessary (in addition to changing plugs and a full oil servicing). This necessitated removing the spare tire and checking the tank for rust. Before putting the carpeting back in the front, I went for a drive around the neighborhood and everything was fine.

My wife came home, surprised to see the car in the driveway as it hadn't been running well when she'd left. I laughed as I put the spare back in and fired the car up for another quick trip around the 'hood - which she refused to join due to her uncertainty regarding the car's structural integrity (bah! surface rust.) I made it about 1/2 mile away from the house around a "loop" in the back end of the subdivision and up a long incline leading back towards the house when the car started sputtering. It died RIGHT in front of a preacher's home about 150 meters away from our driveway- dumping a few quarts of oil out of the breather and onto the road in the process.

Being around 300 PM, there wasn't anyone else around (I wasn't looking for help, I was trying to get away with stupidity). I ran to the house and grabbed my wife, her Corrolla and thirty feet of cheap nylon rope to drag the Porsche back into the garage. It only took me five minutes to diagnose the problem: when I put the spare back in, I knocked the positive wire from its terminal on the electric fuel pump the PO had placed near the bulkhead years earlier. It was the one problem I had intended to fix but figured I'd replace with a stock unit the next week.

[Reaper930]

When taking the terminals off of my battery in my 951, I was using my open end wrench and touched the metal base of the windshield which caused a heck of a shock...its amazing how quickly your hand grips harder around a wrench when electricity is flowing through you.

[goldsc78258]

One time I worked on my CIS for a day because it wouldn't start, couldn't figure it out Cloged lines? bad filter? etc..tunrs out I was out of gas but the gauge was not working.

How stupid can you get?