admit to your stupidity

[anh911]

Hmm, where to start... One of my favorite P-Car stories didn't happen in a garage but is breakdown related. Many years ago I was driving my 914 back to Ohio from Florida while my sisters were driving my Fiat 124 spider. They were in front when the '14 died on the Atlanta bypass. I parked the car on the right shoulder (left it in first gear as the parking brake didn't work) and went off on foot in search of a new fuel pump. When I got back the car was nowhere in sight. (I'm leaving out the part about the kid who tried to set me up on a "date" with his sister.)

With no car I had to hoof it down to the next exit to find a phone and as I get to the bottom of the hill (around the Peachtree-Industrial Blvd exit for the locals) low and behold the car is sitting pretty as you please on the LEFT shoulder jammed up against the concrete barrier. It had apparently rolled down the hill and across 4 lanes and come to a rest without being hit and the only damage was the left front marker light which was only scuffed up.
Oh, and the reason I am walking the whole time is that my sisters didn't seem to notice that I wasn't behind them until they got to Dayton... True story.

[wheatdog]

I had a beautiful '68 XKE roadster that was missing the hood safety latch. The bonnet on these cars opens forward --you know where I'm going with this?? Forgot to close main bonnet latches after maintenance and when I hit the brakes at the first stop sign in my neighborhood the bonnet came forward and buried the nose into the pavement at about 30mph. Worst part is, the harder you hit the brakes, the harder it would lever the nose into the road. Very expensive nose job to repair. I had known this might happen but was thinking I'd get around to replacing that secondary hood latch one day. Too Late!!!

[dm36415]

When you say admit to your stupidity do you mean something like buying my 1st Porsche 911, a 30 year old car, sight unseen, no PPI, from a dealer that had it sitting for 3 years and the only thing he knew about it was that it didn't run?

Or more like when I was in college, and sold my 1969 AMX (44k miles) for $500 because my 1968 Skylark was more practical?

Not too good on the getting or getting rid of, but sure do have fun in between!

[elflamo]

OK, here's one that happened to me recently...

Car is on jack stands at the rear and on it's wheels in the front. Rear wheels and suspension are off, engine and tranny are out. Rear of the car feels really light, so I decide that I want the car to move sideways a little, for which I use a jack under the torsion tube, after which I remove the jack stands. Next, reaching through the engine compartment I operate the jack handle with one hand and with the other I lift the rear of the car by using the engine lid latch section of the body.

Then it happens, the jack slips away from under the torsion tube...

My first reaction was to lift the car with two hands, which was ok although not very sustainable. Complicating matter was that the spring loaded jack handle had moved out of reach... So, supporting the car on my upper legs I try and reach for the jack handle, which after I finally reach it and pull it towards me, decides to release itself from the jack alltogether... Realizing that this isn't going very well, I'm considering lowering the car to the ground and have it rest on the chassis. That's when I came to notice that the strange metal noises I hear is the rear suspension stored under the car that plans to make nice dents in the belly pan if I lower the car a little further...

Reluctant to opt for the last resort (call out for help from my girlfriend), but a little uncomfortable with carrying the car, I perform a Houdini act in which I reach out for the jack with one foot and position the jack handle in the jack...

I guess a little bit more bad luck could have resulted in a nasty ending of this event...

Cheers

Elflamo

[DaddyGlenn]

elflamo - That is rich. Could have been a winning funniest home video.

[Gene Wilkes]

Had a 74 911 Targa that had a mild engine fire. Completely refurbished car, engine and tranny. Drove the car down the road for a test spin, came back puking gear oil. Dropped engine and tranny. Disassembled tranny, nothing wrong. Put engine and tranny back in car for test drive. SAME PROBLEM! Was like someone pressurized the tranny! Did this 4 times! Still puking oil out the vent tube on the top of tranny. Turns out the "L" shaped vent on top of tranny was turned the wrong direction! Lesson learned!

[dlagerstrom]

OK. This has been too much fun not to jump in.

Had been working on the 912 for years (like 14). Almost ready to put the engine back in and drive it for the first time. Family is gone for spring break and I decide I really need to wash the car to see what I have for paint. Roll it out of the garage onto the steep driveway.

That part goes OK.

Roll it back into the garage and almost have it in before it stops. Hard. The half-shafts were hanging from rope and one of them jumped up over the e-brake cable and starting wrapping around to the point of engaging the brake. Now it won't move in either direction. Thinking I just need to move it a few inches to release the tension, I decide to pick it up. Mind you, there is a jack about 10 feet away.

Lift and hear a very loud 'BANG' but not from the car. It turns out there is a muscle in your calf called the plantaris (sp?). Well I tore mine real well and ended up in a cast for 6 weeks.

These cars are more fun than you can shake a stick at.

[kuehl]

Unknowingly dropped a nut down an intake when R&Ring the carbs on a (keeper) 73t with only 88k miles on it, and then attempted to start it only to have the crank turn 180 degrees before it locked up , the nut lodged between the valve and the valve seat. And to top it off.... bascially gave the car away to a friend who removed the head, replaced the valve, fixed the valve seat and drove past waving "hello" 8 hours later.....

[dentist90]

I was laughing at these stories until today. My turn..

Just re and re'd the tranny, new clutch and everything. Had it on the road for about two weeks and it's working great, until I take my neighbor for a cruise. As we're climbing thru the gears on our way to a guaranteed ticket all of a sudden my clutch pedal goes to the floor... and stays. So I figure the cable has snapped and limp it back home. (note: My neighbor is impressed with the way the Porsche starts in 1st and how smoothly it shifts from 1st to 2nd without a clutch. Hold your applause).

At home it turns out that the cable is fine. Guess what happened:





This time I put the retaining ring on facing the right way. Dohh!

[rcecale]

Started this thread involving a couple of electrical issues on my Targa. Brake Light Switches and Windshiled Wiper Switch. For the life of me, I just couldn't figure out what the issue was.

Eventually ended up paying $130.00 for a new wiper switch. Get the new switch installed, connect the battery, and...cue drum roll...same issue as before.!!!

Started tinkering around, checking wire connections under the dash, all sorts of stuff. Pulled out what appears to have been some sort of kill switch, discovered a microphone installed into the dashboard, removed a bunch of excess speaker wire that was just hanging there. I even found the light that was supposed to mount behind my heater controls...it actually worked!!! But no fix for the wiper switch was to be found.

Tinkering around some more, I was even able to get the washer fluid switch to start working...it never did before.

Then...I saw it...right there on the dash board...a knob I have seen probably hundreds of times before...and never really paid any attention to what it did.



Well, I can tell you all now, with full authority, that this little switch is for the potentiometer that controls the delay for the windshiled wipers. When I removed the steering wheel to straighten it out (other thread), I took advantage of the clearance and wiped down the dash really well. apparently I turned the knob to the ON position and...

Geeze, do I feel like an a$$!!!

Maybe I should go look for a manual for this car...no telling what other pearls of wisdom I am missing out on!

Randy

[TWork]

Don't feel so bad Randy. I let my son play in my car. I figured he toasted something real bad when the wipers seemed to come on randomly as I drove it around for the next two weeks (try to look cool in the middle of the summer at a stop light when you're wipers are just waving at you). Then I realized what that knob (right there on the dash board the whole time) was for...

Originally posted by rcecale

Then...I saw it...right there on the dash board...a knob I have seen probably hundreds of times before...and never really paid any attention to what it did.



Well, I can tell you all now, with full authority, that this little switch is for the potentiometer that controls the delay for the windshiled wipers.
Randy [/B]

[Christien]

Hey, cool. My dashboard has a plug there, looks like an option delete. Always wondered what should've been there!

[rcecale]

Originally posted by TWork
...(try to look cool in the middle of the summer at a stop light when you're wipers are just waving at you)...

LOL, No kidding!

I first discovered the "broken wipers" as I was leaving for work. Drove the whole way there with the wipers on slow delay, looking sooo not cool. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Fortunately, it's only a 20 minute drive.

When I got there, I popped open the front trunk and pulled the circuit breaker for the wipers and kept it in the center console. For the next couple of weeks, I didn't drive the p-car to work if the sky even just threatened rain. Kept and eye on that breaker as though my life depended on it. Wanted to have it handy in case any rain storms snuck up on me.

But, she's working fine now, and I cleaned up some wiring underneath, and even got my fluid switch working, so it's not a total loss of $130...but I can think of plenty of other things I would rather be sppending money on.

Anyone have a broken wiper switch in their 86 Carrera? I'll make you a good deal!!!

Randy

[mthomas58]

My most stupid incident involved my last car - 84 MB 300D Turbo Diesel automatic. One morning in a rush and late for a meeting the car would not start - would not even crank. It was "DTM" (deader than a mackerel).

Called AAA who quickly diagnosed the problem - The car was in Drive! Never felt so stupid in my life.

[patkeefe]

I relocated my battery this week to the smugglers box. The Readers Digest version involves welding a new mount bracket in the box, the smell of burning undercoating, flames lapping at the fuel tank, and ultimately the discharge of my fire extinguisher. There is a lot of clean up of white extinguishing agent involved also.

[zymurgist]

Originally posted by mthomas58
Called AAA who quickly diagnosed the problem - The car was in Drive! Never felt so stupid in my life.

D'oh! This happens to me about once every other month when I am driving my Mercedes. It's the only automatic car I've owned in the past 20 years...

[ljowdy]

[carsngolf]

A '51 Henry J (you have to be well over 50 to know that car). I bragged to my buddies it handled like a sports car. "Show me!" Three of us in the bench type front seat and I rip around a curve about 35 mph. We make it but I overcorrect. I'm laughing like crazy when the guy in the middle hollers "Smitty's gone!" I look over and the passenger door is wide open! I stop, back up, and find Smitty picking stones out of his butt after sliding across a gravel parking lot! My first lesson in structural stiffness.

[FenderGuy]

These are funny stories

my dumb moment came wondering why my fuel gauge was going crazy, tried a new fuel sender and still the same problem. The car ran out of gas 2 times and then I realized it was from not tighting the gas cap all the way !!!!

[rcecale]

Originally posted by carsngolf
A '51 Henry J (you have to be well over 50 to know that car).

Or know someone else who is well over 50...

My brother-in-law turned me on to the Henry J when I was just a wee lad. Pretty sweet looking rides, IMHO.



Randy