LIVID--TWO incidents at the range today...

[livi]

Your preoccupation for high standards regarding safety around fire arms is very commendable. I applaud you for that.

Never the less, I feel sorry for you and your wife in this situation. At least in the way you describe the situation, it is obvious neither of you feel good about it.

She does not feel she deserved your treatment. She did not do anything on purpose or negligence, but from inexperience.

You are rightfully very upset in terms of being scared someone could very easily been badly hurt or worse AND that it would under such circumstances have been indirectly your fault for not judging the competence of the shooters better. You are, hence, partly being angry with yourself projecting it on to your wife as the culprit.

If she did wrong, so did you. You are in different ways both to blame. That gives you a window of opportunity in terms of being justifiably able to ask her forgiveness.

Again, I applaud you high and loud for taking safety seriously!

[TerryH]

Mistakes were made. You were humiliated and embarrassed by them and feel betrayed by those you brought with you. They made you look bad, "at the only range in 50 miles". Your wife may decide she never wants to get in this position again and give up the hobby/sport.

IMHO, your ego is flattened and you don't know how to handle it or repair it.

[Dottore]

Originally Posted by jyl

You are right, firearms are serious business, and accidental discharges are a very bad thing. They are frightening and, when you think about the potential consequences, horrifying.

But you should try your best to respond to the situation in the most productive way, which may not necessarily be to respond with horror, anger, or other negative emotion.

This is why I love PPOT...

BTW, are you gay? If not, why not?

[carambola]

never go to bed angry

[the]

Should have shot her in the leg.

[legion]

My ego is definitely an issue. There is no question that I pride myself on a very high standard of firearm safety. I have no intention of lowering my standards.

My wife is my world. Once I had a handle on the situation I definitely blamed (blame) myself. We attended a three-day firearm safety course last summer. I hung on every word spoke for the three 8-hour lecture sessions. I assumed she did the same.

Maybe angry isn't the right word. Maybe fear is a more appropriate concept. Maybe I was more scared than I've ever been in my life, and I interpreted it as anger. Like I said, I was in new territory and didn't know what to make of it. Maybe I was angry at myself for being so scared.

I won't be inviting anyone new to join me at the range in the future. I will stick to my group of similarly experienced and skilled shooting friends. I won't loan out my shotguns anymore. I will recommend safety classes and firearms training to anyone who asks me about shooting. After today, it is apparent that I took on more than I can handle, and I need to leave firearm instruction to the experts.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by legion

My ego is definitely an issue. There is no question that I pride myself on a very high standard of firearm safety. I have no intention of lowering my standards.

This line indicates to me that you don't really understand what I was talking about wrt ego.

Have you ever done any therapy? I have yet to meet anyone who couldn't benefit from at least some trained 3rd party input. Well, except tabs of course...

[jyl]

Originally Posted by Dottore

This is why I love PPOT...

BTW, are you gay? If not, why not?

Why, are you offering? Lemme clear it with the wife . . .

:-)

[legion]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Have you ever done any therapy? I have yet to meet anyone who couldn't benefit from at least some trained 3rd party input.

That's a whole 'nother thread.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

I guess she's qualified to go shooting with Dick Cheney now.

[andrew15]

Sadly, it looks like the damage is pretty much done here - public yelling at the wife in front of peers make you look like a complete douche. Following it up with being very angry for 5 hrs probably cements that she will never go to the range with you again and will resent the time you spend there in the future. Hopefully you can work it out, but this is more than a night on the couch that you are currently facing. Others suggested professional help - get it now before it's counselling of the marriage sort.

AM

[HardDrive]

Originally Posted by legion

It's been six hours since we left the range and I am still physically shaking with anger.

Sounds like the problem is between the chair and the computer friend.

I'm a tightwad about gun safety as well, but chewing your wife out in front of others.....wow.

[nostatic]

probably better than chewing on your wife in front of others but that is a whole 'nother thread...

[svandamme]

i would have, at the very least, took that semi automatic
and tried to reproduce the problem about 20 times to absolutely make sure it wasn't a problem with the rifle

and if that did nothing, i would have tried it another 20 times

that would have sent the right message to everybody involved
- that you take this discharge seriously

and if it didn't happen in your hand's, then those who's hands did make it happen, will know it was their hands, and you wouldn't need to say anything more

[Tidybuoy]

Originally Posted by legion

I won't be inviting anyone new to join me at the range in the future. I will stick to my group of similarly experienced and skilled shooting friends. I won't loan out my shotguns anymore. I will recommend safety classes and firearms training to anyone who asks me about shooting. After today, it is apparent that I took on more than I can handle, and I need to leave firearm instruction to the experts.

Problem #1 Solved

Problem #2 Not Solved. You need to work on your personality. This was supposed to be a fun day - try not to forget that part.

[Rick Lee]

Well, it was out of line to dress her down in front of others, but your anger is not out of line. I've seen some AD's at the range before and sometimes the person is totally unphased by it and thinks it's no biggie. Those are the types you never want to see at a range again. No matter how angry anyone gets, that's always preferable if it leads to correcting what can be maiming or deadly carelessness. Show her some Internet photos of what can happen with an AD and that might scare her straight. I'd rather be alive to face my wife's wrath than dead or missing a limb because she didn't take my mild-mannered lecture serioulsy. When guns are involved, there really is nothing more important in the world than proper handling and safety.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

I guess she's qualified to go shooting with Dick Cheney now.

We need to turn legion loose on Cheney, he'll b!tch-slap him and kick him in the nuts until he cries for Mommy. He won't know WTF rolled up his alley.

[Rick Lee]

No, Cheney would just say, "Go f&ck yourself."

[speeder]

I don't know, legion is a large, weight-lifting 28 y.o. w/ serious anger-management issues. I think he'd kick Dick's ass off.

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by Dan J

Chris,
I understand the safety thing very well. However I must inform you that you are being a dick.
The importance of your wife in your life compared to hobbies and amusements cannot be overstated. Ask for her forgiveness, now
Best Regards,
Dan Jacobs

I Disagree.

Mishandling a shotgun will result in death.

That has to be made absolutely clear. Lives are more important than egos.

It was not out of line to dress her down IMO. I did some rifle range details during my time in the army, and i can tell you that i have sent a few soldiers shaking and in tears from my firing line, and i've seen other instructors do the same. When you tell her why you exploded, explain to her that it was the vivid mental image of your lovely wife with her foot blown the F off that got you that way, and apologize for over-reacting, but stress AGAIN how important good firearms safety is.

At any rate, compared to how stupid his wife looked for blowing up a box of shotgun shells at her feet, his scream-fest is minor stuff. Another fraction of an inch closer to a primer and she could have killed or maimed herself for life.