Stijn!!

[flipper35]

OK, weird partial double post.

[flipper35]

If the water pump fails because someone swapped you for a GT3, I would get it fixed.

For those that are interested in real time rendered graphics, here you go. He claims these were rendered real time and he didn't say what kit he is using.

Art by Rens -

[GH85Carrera]

The water pump, ABS, airbags and power steering is all tied to the service engine soon light.

[Porsche-poor]

if your 911 is like mine the power steering fluid is beer!!!!

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by Porsche-poor

if your 911 is like mine the power steering fluid is beer!!!!

Just the same. Like the PDK transmission

[Porsche-poor]

its sunny out and I am at work. What do you bet this weekend is rainy.

[HHI944]

I just ate a burger tipped with Carolina Reaper paste.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolina_Reaper
I need to change my shirt now, this one is all sweaty.

[HHI944]

Originally Posted by Porsche-poor

its sunny out and I am at work. What do you bet this weekend is rainy.

Pretty much guaranteed. It rained for 4 or 5 days when I had a light schedule and had time to play on two wheels. Then I had what turned into an 18 hour work day and it was friggin beautiful all day.

[Porsche-poor]

mother nature hates us!

[flipper35]

Originally Posted by HHI944

I just ate a burger tipped with Carolina Reaper paste.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolina_Reaper
I need to change my shirt now, this one is all sweaty.

Wait a few hours and see if anything else needs changed as well.

[HHI944]

Originally Posted by flipper35

Wait a few hours and see if anything else needs changed as well.

I just burped.....ouch.

[HHI944]

I'm on the phone with the IRS......that's way more painful than anything the pepper can do.

****ers sent me a certified letter saying I owe them $8. I sent back a 72 month installment payment plan application.....apparently they didn't find that as amusing as I did.

[flipper35]

I don't believe those at the IRS have a sense of humor. I believe it is on the application form to state you don't have one to even get an interview.

[HHI944]

I told them I'd send payment in full. It's gonna cost me more to ship the $8 in pennies than I owe. I'm ****ing tired of the IRS....twice a year every year for the last 6 or so years, I get a letter that I owe just a little more. This one is for 2009.

[flipper35]

They operate like the spammers. If they send a letter to millions of people that they owe a little more and most don't fight it...

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by HHI944

I just ate a burger tipped with Carolina Reaper paste.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolina_Reaper
I need to change my shirt now, this one is all sweaty.

One great question is why is it that one ass can only "taste" or sense hot stuff. One can be crying in pain and there is never an moment one thinks. yum, that chocolate cake was great or that was the best cheese cake ever.

[GH85Carrera]

Last year I got a nice letter from the IRS. Out of the blue they decided that some of the investments I have need taxes taken out because they did not see how I bought those stocks. OK, a stock purchase that my broker sells then invest 100% of that in a new stock is not "real" money. It is just make believe until they send me the money and it is more than I sent them. I had no idea how to figure it out so I had to hire a tax accountant to file the paperwork.

In the end he said he filed the forms electronically and has no way to know what the new amount I will owe will be. The IRS had to send me a letter with a new amount to send them. How stupid is the system when only the IRS can come up with how much I will owe. The amount went WAY down but by the time I paid my accountant it was not a big savings. It was just extortion by the IRS since I have no deductions anyway. RAPE!

[flipper35]

Reminds me of this old joke.

The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named "FRANK", who was
visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
cook-off. The Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened
to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the
Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two
judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and,
besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I
accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili:
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer
when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my
backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting wasted from
all of the beer.

Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid,
was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB. woman is
starting to look HOT ... . . just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is
chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her
chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by
pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my
lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming. Screw those rednecks!

Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
garlic. Superb!
Judge #3-- I crapped myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat
through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips
anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried
about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like poop to
match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed
me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not
getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through
the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed
out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure
if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to
really hot chili?

[RKDinOKC]

I used to have a gold tooth. Actually still have it in a King Edward's cigar box with my lucky rabbit's foot, silver dimes, vial of Mercury, mood ring, Brabham F1 Hot Wheels car, LED digital watch, and other priceless treasures of my youth.

[Jim Richards]

Mmmmmm, chili.