Online dating is humbling

[jyl]

Originally Posted by 1990C4S

Shaun disagrees.

Crisp haircut, little bit of hair color, drop 20 lb, and a stylish murse - that's all you need!

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by AFC-911

Got all those things. I've written witty, thoughtful and funny messages that are just ignored.

.

Just for ****s and giggles, share some with us. Or your narrative profile. Maybe we can offer constructive suggestions.

[porsche4life]

I see what you did there Jim....

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by porsche4life

I see what you did there Jim....

Who? Me? What?

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by jyl

Crisp haircut, little bit of hair color, drop 20 lb, and a stylish murse - that's all you need!

Got the haircut today, had Thai coconut red curry tofu and veggies for dinner, dug out my bike messenger bag so I'm good to go. More kayaking on Monday, have hired a professional photographer for a photo shoot.

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by Shaun 84 Targa

....., dug out my bike messenger bag so I'm good to go.

Is that a euphemism for a "MURSE"?

[Shaun @ Tru6]

yes, but it's "manly."

[rwest]

Good luck with the ladies Shaun, keep us in the loop and share anything that works- real men put the murse strap over the left shoulder!

[AFC-911]

Originally Posted by Dueller

Just for ****s and giggles, share some with us. Or your narrative profile. Maybe we can offer constructive suggestions.

Ok...

Here's a copy and paste from OkCupid...My Match profile is similar, but less snarky. I've had more responses from OkCupid, but I've actually had more dates from Match.





My self-summary

I'm writer/producer who loves the beach, concerts, spontaneous road trips, travel, and photography. I'm willing to try just about anything once (within reason...Undecided if I want to jump out of a plane).

I've been in living in Florida for 21 years now, so I'm as close to a local as you'll get aside from those very rare natives.

I always enjoy learning new things. This year, I'm learning how to salsa.

I love music (from Tchaikovsky to Outkast to Taylor Swift) and movies (from Indies to foreign film).

I like silly puns.

I think there's nothing better than a genuine conversation to go with a bottle of wine...I suppose beer, too, but that doesn't sound as nice. lol

You must love dogs, but who doesn't?


What I’m doing with my life

Working and enjoying life with friends and family.


I’m really good at

Paddleboarding, photography, writing (hooked on Phonics really worked for me. Hahaha j/k)


The first things people usually notice about me

Tattoo on my face...Wait, that's Mike Tyson.


Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Favorite books: Da Vinci Code, Digital Fortress

Favorite movies: American Beauty, Inception, Moon, Life As a House, Shaun of the Dead, Moonrise Kingdom, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Favorite shows: Orange is the New Black, Chuck, The Returned (Les Revenants), The Walking Dead

Favorite music: Of Monsters & Men, Green Day, Bach, Elodie Frege, Guns N Roses, Third Eye Blind, Rilo Kiley

The six things I could never do without
- My dog
- Truffles
- Wine
- Humor
- Passport
- My dslr


I spend a lot of time thinking about

Planning my next trip (Iceland and NYC are coming up...Istanbul has been put off for too long)

How I can obtain an Olympic medal...What's the easiest sport? Join a curling team? Pull a Harding? Ebay?

Here's the pics:















Thoughts?

[Bill Douglas]

I haven't read all of this thread. But I used to do online dating over ten years ago. A mixture of very good (maybe more quantity than quality) and very bad.

Three that stood out from the crowd.

1 Stood up on my Saturday night date with very good looking 21 year old angelic looking girl. I don't know why she wanted to go out with big ol ugly 40 something - but she contacted me. I get her on the phone on Sunday and she says "Don't go off at me, I've just got home from my Thursday night date." Eww. I'm pleased I didn't.

2 We had been dating for a few weeks or so and I said to her "I think you are probably a bit too promiscuous for me." She said "WHAT, I've only slept with three other guys since I stated going out with you."

3 Very lovely ladylike Spanish girl. Picnics, lunch dates. Nice girl take it slow. After a while I thought this is complicated, no job, no work permit... Maybe I shouldn't fall in love anymore with her. Eight months later I met a very pregnant her and loving boyfriend at a party. I said to her "Phew, I'm pleased I didn't get a leg over or I would have thought that I was the dad." Unbeknown to me at the time, and her smiling boyfriend, she was sleeping with a number of guys. She would have just chosen the one with the best bank account and said guess what?

May I recommend speed dating

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by AFC-911

Thoughts?

By your posts on Pelican, I thought you were 50/60+.

[nostatic]

Truffles?

Other than that it reads like probably 90% of the other profiles.

Online dating is a game - the rules are different than for analog dating, though at some point they have to merge.

I met my wife a number of years ago on match.com, and had dated online for a year or two before that. Took me awhile to understand the dynamic and how to make it work. I evolved a few rules to make the game less annoying.

1. don't wink, poke, or otherwise do some half-assed communication. If you want to meet them, then write them directly.

2. DO NOT engage in a prolonged email/chat conversation. You need to meet in person by the 2nd or 3rd message. Trust me on this. Very easy to fall into a "digital relationship" and that likely won't end well.

3. When you meet, have an out. Make it low risk - coffee or tea at a neutral location and beforehand indicate that you have to be somewhere else afterwards. If you really hit it off you can extend it, but controlling expectations is key.

As for the profile, take a look at other *male* profiles and see what other guys are saying. Interesting to gauge the competition.

Don't BS. If you really do love sunsets, then you can say that but everyone says they love dog, sunsets, walks on the beach, etc. You have to differentiate yourself. That said, I never waited for women to contact me as most won't. Online dating is a game, and if you're serious, it also is a job. Spend the time searching for someone who is interesting and write them. And expect not to get a reply. I think I averaged about a 10% "hit" rate. A significant percentage of the women online are not interested in a relationship. They want attention. Some other percentage wants a free meal - and some attention. A small number actually are looking for a serious relationship. And that's ok. If you're looking for something casual, then be upfront about that. There are women there who want that. If you want serious, be up front about that. But expect a lot of rejection and a spectrum of people that you actually meet. Just don't expect that everyone is there for the same reason as you.

I met a few whackos, but mostly they were sane, fun, and interesting. Just a question of the deeper fit. And I ended up with a few longish-term relationships, and finally found "the one" so it can work. But you have to respect and understand the process.

[Bill Douglas]

After reading Todd's post I've realised you are looking for tips tricks and traps. Not "tales of the high seas."

Right...

All of the above and get GOOD PHOTOS. Even if you have to pay someone LOL

I got great photos from an excellent amature photog ex-GF and I never contacted anyone as I got more requests for dates than I could manage. LOL, sure they were a little dissapointed when they met me but that's life for them isn't it.

[RANDY P]

It seems kind of generic.... Frankly it's kind of vague. I don't know a thing about how it works online but, it seems it needs more edge.

Put in tagalog, you'll get all kinds of hits.

Salamat.

[RANDY P]

PS- face it, it's tougher for Asian guys out there- you have to work with it, lots of negative stereotypes.

BTDT.

rjp

[TimT]

Put in tagalog, you'll get all kinds of hits.

So put in a few key words like "god fearing" and it will get you hits from some pinays?

Siempre naman...

[AFC-911]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Truffles?

Other than that it reads like probably 90% of the other profiles.

Lindor truffles are the ****!

By your posts on Pelican, I thought you were 50/60+.

Either that means I'm grumpier online or I must have an old soul.

So put in a few key words like "god fearing" and it will get you hits from some pinays?

Ugh.

I'm not god fearing and Pinays are 100% crazy.

[AFC-911]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

After reading Todd's post I've realised you are looking for tips tricks and traps. Not "tales of the high seas."

I don't mind if you share them. I don't own this thread.

FWIW, I did take a look at some guys' profiles and they're much, much worse. Mainly lacking in grammar, less crap written and of course, the ubiquitous selfies. I don't know how girls can stand looking through this tripe.

[Bill Douglas]

Yeah, guys who really try to sell themselves put females off. It screams desperate.

Also in interests mention things they would like to hear not playing with guns/six day hikes in the wilderness/drag racing cars. More like volunteering at the SCPA/specialist in looking after kittens/breeder of exotic roses. Favorite place quiet cafe with excellent pastries and fine wines.

[fintstone]

I suggest you both come off a bit effeminate in your writing/profile.

Most that do not come off a pervert do. Don't provide so much info. Be a little mysterious. Women are initially attracted to the strong silent type (and if over about 25...successful...looking at least)...then (later) they are hooked when you can be a bit more refined (be a little bit sensitive, recite poetry, remember her name or birthday, like babies or puppies, etc.). They already have girlfriends, they want a man.

If you want to do well as a single today (have high standards and want to meet beautiful, interesting women), you need to be in shape. If you are single, what else do you have to do in your free time but work out? Where do you eat, at a donut shop? They can get plenty of chubby, middle-aged men.

That said, as Seahawk suggested earlier...eventually, if you are reasonably healthy, wealthy and wise...they will line up to meet you when you get older (good hair and teeth are a bonus). Just be patient.