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The Unsettler
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Check yourself into rehab. Use FMLA and ADA to your benefit. Up to 12 weeks off, unpaid, and your employer wont know why and can't fire you.
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"I want my two dollars" "Goodbye and thanks for the fish" "Proud Member and Supporter of the YWL" "Brandon Won" |
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Registered
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 17,407
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Sorry, I have nothing for you, but that stress is very real and will kill your ass soon. I don't miss a beat with work stuff and take it very serious. When I was 40, I had a very minor stroke. Thankfully I am ok and without any issues. Went back to work after two weeks, because I had to, with on going projects. Starting to weed out the a-hole clients and scale it back some. Running that cabinet shop and playing general contractor was just too much. So I stop doing wood working for designers and other contractors. Now only build them for my own clients and couldn't be happier. Its been 10 years. Once every couple of weeks I take a long lunch and have a good look at what going on for the next couple/few weeks. Go home and have dinner with my kids. Oh, that traffic doean't help when you have meetings all over town. I am sure you are dealing with the same traffic up there, Can't drv55. You are in sales if I remember correctly? Take care of yourself because your company isn't going to.
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Registered
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 17,407
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Registered
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Lake Cle Elum - Eastern WA.
Posts: 8,417
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Good advice about seeing a Doc........Have Doc prescribe Meds and try that before extended leave.......Meds can make a big difference......
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Bob S. 73.5 911T 1969 911T Coo' pay (one owner) 1960 Mercedes 190SL 1962 XKE Roadster (sold) - 13 motorcycles |
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Each state probably has different laws regarding stress leave, so take all advice with a grain of salt. Effectively, you have 2 different ways of doing a stress leave: privately, or through workers' comp. You'll have to weigh the pros and cons (and consider your own sources for stress) to determine which way to go. There are legal implications, logistical concerns, financial differences, privacy issues, future employment considerations, etc to your decision on how to pursue your treatment.
Good luck with taking care of yourself.
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1987 Venetian Blue (looks like grey) 930 Coupe 1990 Black 964 C2 Targa |
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A Man of Wealth and Taste
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Out there somewhere beyond the doors of perception
Posts: 51,063
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As you grow older you have to be aware that you have limits. You ain't 25 anymore and can run all day and night with out consequences. You have to keep it in mind that you have limits and have to moderate. If you do not that is when you have serious consequences like a ha or stroke. You can tell your md that you are having physical symptoms when.the stress is on. Instead of meds ask for a referral to a shrink to help you work out some of the causes of that stress. Tell the shrink you are feeling really tired and need a rest to regroup and rethink so that you can find a better way to cope. |
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Registered
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 15,530
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Find a less stressful job.
After the loa you wiil return to the same olld crap. |
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Almost Banned Once
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What I meant by this is... Self employed people get lots of stress but they're not told what to do. That's a huge benefit of working for yourself.
Ever had a 20 something that's been with the company about 5 minutes tell you how you could do your job better? I find stupid stuff like that stressful. I've never been very good at handling work stress. When something unexpected or threatening happens I step back and take a deep breath. And then I ask myself. What's the worst that can happen? If you really think about it nothing at work is worth getting sick over. Family comes first and your family needs you healthy.
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- Peter |
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?
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 30,496
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Poke smot!
...beats the hell out of drinking every single time ![]() Seriously though...don't "mask" the REAL problem with meds or a temporary hiatus imo...take care of yourself and be well. |
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The Stick
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Used to get work stressed. Doc put me on Blood Pressure pills. Don't remember what they were, but worked great. Then I found a adrenaline inducing hobby. Building and flying radio control airplanes. The concentration of flying the plane brought on the adrenaline. After several months doc took me off the bp meds because was getting too low.
Kept up the RC flying until I discovered local Porsche club autocross. Much better concentration adrenaline rush and took less time, Once a month as opposed to most weekend flying. Something about the concentration of driving a car thru a course at the cars limits. Have not been able to autocross for 6 years now and the stress monster is starting to grow again.
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Richard aka "The Stick" 06 Cayenne S Titanium Edition |
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Still Doin Time
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Nokesville, Va.
Posts: 8,225
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From experience, burn out is real. When's the last vacation you've taken? I mean where you take at least a week go somewhere different for a complete change of scenery. Good advice here as said above, you need more down time as you age.
If it were me, I'd take a weeks vacation to then have time to really think through what the next step(s) will be. You need a clear head to make good decisions.
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'15 Dodge - 'Dango R/T Hauls groceries and Kinda Hauls *ss '07 Jeep SRT-8 - Hauls groceries and Hauls *ss Sold '85 Guards Red Targa - Almost finished after 17 years '95 Road King w/117ci - No time to ride, see above '77 Sportster Pro-Street Drag Bike w/93ci - Sold |
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Did you get the memo?
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 32,537
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I would tend to agree. Leave of absence is only a stopgap. There are lots of jobs out there, find one that's a better fit for your personality and life. No amount of money is worth a heart attack or stroke.
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‘07 Mazda RX8-8 Past: 911T, 911SC, Carrera, 951s, 955, 996s, 987s, 986s, 997s, BMW 5x, C36, C63, XJR, S8, Maserati Coupe, GT500, etc |
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Registered
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MYR S.C.
Posts: 17,321
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we had a controller that was about to get fired because he could not get checked out, then played the "im stressed" game. sat up on the 3rd floor watching movies all day for 140k a year. finally fired him. this was 10yrs ago at least so think about the $$$.
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86 930 94kmiles [_ ![]() 88 BMW 325is 200K+ SOLD 03 BMW 330CI 220K:: [_ ![]() 01 suburban 330K:: [_ ![]() RACE CAR:: sold |
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Home of the Whopper
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Couple bags of each and all will be ok. |
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Sounds to me like much of the advice here will end your career (as you know it). If you are ok with that...then go for it. IMHO, you are better to find another job/career before...on your own terms.
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74 Targa 3.0, 89 Carrera, 04 Cayenne Turbo http://www.pelicanparts.com/gallery/fintstone/ "The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money" Some are born free. Some have freedom thrust upon them. Others simply surrender |
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G'day!
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I read the entire thread and I have a different take. I think it's possible that you are just venting and the best course for you to follow would be to just "tough it out." Of course, I am only going on what little information you provided. I'm saying this as a person who has gone through what sounds like the same type of 'stress' you are going through. What really bugged me the most is when I couldn't get it out of my head and when I went to bed these scenarios kept running through my head over and over to the point where it was hard to sleep. 1) Take off whatever time you can within' the normal policies set forth in your company handbook. 2) Continue to vent in ways that allow for release but not anything that involves anyone at work knowing, except maybe a trusted co-worker partner. 3) Find ways to get this off your mind, especially while away from work. 4) Take lots of deep breaths...practice deep breathing. Try to exert mind over matter. Look at the big picture....keep things in perspective. That kind of thing. You have to realize too that what you are going through is the same thing many before you have gone through and they all survived. Many times people in your organization who are creating friction and politics move on....so there's that. You have to go into survival mode. Do not let this crap get to you. I hope this helps and wish you all the best, mate......stay strong! ![]()
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Old dog....new tricks..... |
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Unregistered
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: a wretched hive of scum and villainy
Posts: 55,652
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If your job has you that stressed out then it is the wrong job for you. Getting paid to sit at home is not going to change that. And it's wrong IMO.
Get a different job. If you can find a job that doesn't include potential stress-inducing situations, it probably won't pay much. Stress is self-induced, it's our reaction to events and environment. In many cases we can control or influence how we deal with things we find stressful (but not all cases). Maybe what you really need is some counseling to help you manage how you deal with things that cause you stress. Last edited by sammyg2; 07-30-2018 at 06:53 AM.. Reason: typo |
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Almost Banned Once
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That's some good advice Baz but I would emphasis not to trust anyone at work.
I have friends I confide in but they're not people I work with.
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- Peter |
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G'day!
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But as long as it's just venting....and he doesn't say anything that would land him in hot water ....I think it's therapeutic. That said....a little of that goes a long way so best to keep it at a minimum because no one likes a whiner, no matter what the circumstances.
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Old dog....new tricks..... |
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likes to left foot brake.
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As an Air traffic controller watched some weak radar controllers run near misses with a few air carriers. That and we had a few fatal general aviation aircraft crashes during the same summer. Without getting into details. Took a month off. Got a shrink that was recommended by other ATC with PTSD. This shrink was also very familiar and helped with the State workers comp paper work required. You are already stressed, then faced with the anxiety of losing a month of income and the required paper work to prevail on a workers comp case are terrible issues to resolve when you want to seek treatment. My case was approved by the state so got back 75% of my month of lost income. Yes the FAA management challenged my claim every chance they could. Hold your issues very close to your vest, HR is not your friend. Shrink never gave me any drugs. But this shrink did hypnotize me and that helped greatly during the first week of PTSD. The month off should be all about learning new tools to help you process the stress. |
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