I've got a stalker what do I do ?

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

If being up front with ones spouse is introducing negativity then one or both have some work to do.

He can do with that whatever he chooses.

Bingo.

I can't imagine not being able to tell my wife, right away, without repercussions...I would not have married her if honesty was ever off the table.

Sorry if some think that is harsh, but there are relationship hints in this thread that worry me.

Best of luck.

[Tervuren]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Bingo.

I can't imagine not being able to tell my wife, right away, without repercussions...I would not have married her if honesty was ever off the table.

Sorry if some think that is harsh, but there are relationship hints in this thread that worry me.

Best of luck.

I agree, but once married?

Sometimes construction work on other people won't get past the permits for demolition phase.

It is also my observation that there are many different kinds of people, and some kinds cannot understand or get along with a certain set, yet another set can.

[72doug2,2S]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

So, how'd the wife react?

Probably the same way mine did when I told the wife she was carrying around a few extra pounds.

Honesty is totally the right thing. Ask me how I know.

[wayner]

Originally Posted by Tervuren

I agree, but once married?

Sometimes construction work on other people won't get past the permits for demolition phase.

It is also my observation that there are many different kinds of people, and some kinds cannot understand or get along with a certain set, yet another set can.

In the best cases what you are talking about is a healthy couple with similar values
In the worst cases it s co-dependent situation and the sooner the agreeable one discovers that the better.
(Co-dependent isn't simply a phrase, its a technical term to be googled)

[john70t]

Tell your wife first with a straight face.

1). It introduces plausible-deniability.
And make her write it on her secure calendar.
Just in case you already had a furious shag with your very good friends soon-to-be-ex-wife in the back seat of some hoopty.
(but I keed about the second part)

2). Wife will bear her teeth and go face-to-face with the newcomer using a language only women will understand.

3). You will then have the best week of sex this decade evar.
Cancel all further appointments and get yer sleep and water and vitamins.

[stevej37]

Discuss a relationship problem with hundreds of guys on a car forum..instead of the wife.
What could go wrong with that??

[MRM]

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

Fred did not specifically ask for advice but he got it anyway.

The title of Fred’s post is “I’ve got a stalker what should I do”. In the conventional use of the English language that is asking for advice. But Fred has a long history of posting here, soliciting opinions if not advice and then just doing what he was going to do anyway.

[recycled sixtie]

Originally Posted by MRM

The title of Fred’s post is “I’ve got a stalker what should I do”. In the conventional use of the English language that is asking for advice. But Fred has a long history of posting here, soliciting opinions if not advice and then just doing what he was going to do anyway.

Yes MRM you are right.

[MRM]

Fred is one of my favorite posters, even if I get frustrated that he sometimes declines the advice that he solicits and that I spend some time responding to (excuse the preposition). If he was closer I'm sure I'd enjoy having a beer or three with him as we traded war stories. And I would certainly trust the maintenance of Baby to him. He is a good man and I hope he takes my posts as wanting the best for him and offering whatever it is I have to offer to help rather than a criticism of the decisions he makes.

[red-beard]

You must tell your wife, because it is possible the psycho woman will call your wife and say something.

With the drive-by, this is serious. I had an ex-GF stalker. She would call and say she is "nearby" and could she come over...

Obsession is a terrible thing.

And I agree with all of the advice to document document document! And as much as you do not want the police involved, make this a suggestion to your wife.

Also, do not forget that it is possible she tells her husband that there is something going on, when there is not. You must get in front of this. Just like in a river, you need power to drive the boat, or you are not in control.

[fintstone]

I really don't understand why so many of you have diagnosed this woman as "psycho" simply because she is apparently someone fascinated by/attracted to Fred. Is there something wrong with Fred's appearance that I do not know about? Is he elephant man?

As far as I can tell, she has called/texted him a couple of times and has driven past his business (could very well be a coincidence unless his business is on Pluto). We are not really even sure what she wants from him (as he has not specifically told us). Maybe he doesn't know either. Has she asked him to leave his wife and run away with her, does she just want a romantic, one-night tryst? maybe she is juts having fun teasing him (as she has seen how he looks at her). Maybe she just wants him to give her a tune-up or oil change...maybe do a little wrenching for her (her car repaired at a discount).

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

.......It went from a few casual texts about the weather, and the neighbors to how she has always had a thing for me, and wants to get busy... .

.... I explained perfectly clear, that I am in no way interested in having an affair....

....I stayed late at work last nite, and I saw her drive by twice....

....She starts texting me again this morning.. Saying I looked nice, I am taller than she remembers....

...it really pisses me off, that she is trying to step out on her hubby.....

Originally Posted by fintstone

....We are not really even sure what she wants from him (as he has not specifically told us)......

Actually, Fred was perfectly clear about what she wants.

And given the relationship between Fred and friend, the wifes behaviour while maybe not psycho level (yet) is most certainly not "normal" or appropriate.

[wayner]

Ive coined a term.

EMOTIONAL ASS GRABBING!

Just as woman may not welcome a man's hand on her ass, copping a feel to make him feel good as she passes by

Women do the same to men.

Whether it be a strange woman in social setting making a man feel responsible for her happiness, or dropping into his life complicating his world, its no different

While we might be flattered by a physical tweak given out by a woman on the way by,
unwelcome involvement of our emotions can be equally offensive as physical contact can be to a woman.

Poor Fred was just minding his own business, being a nice guy, running an honest business when out of nowhere she reached her slimy tentacles into his life and complicated it.

[Alan A]

Well since it’s still going on, you may as well **** the **** out of her in a variety of easily identifiable places, take pictures, send them to the cuck husband and then show them to the wife and ask if she’s up for a threesome.

If you don’t want any of the good advice, you may as well have some spectacularly bad advice to balance it out...

[wayner]

I've heard a rumour that when Fred opened his shop's this morning and fired up the sound system there wa a special playlist waiting for him...

[speeder]

Originally Posted by Tervuren

Sometimes construction work on other people won't get past the permits for demolition phase.

It is also my observation that there are many different kinds of people, and some kinds cannot understand or get along with a certain set, yet another set can.

I have nothing to add to this typical Pelican schit show of a thread other than to say that you have a gift for words and are wise beyond your years.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by MRM

The title of Fred’s post is “I’ve got a stalker what should I do”. In the conventional use of the English language that is asking for advice. But Fred has a long history of posting here, soliciting opinions if not advice and then just doing what he was going to do anyway.

Exact-a-lakity. Just do whatever you're going to do, (or do nothing), and let us know how it went?

[red-beard]

I think this was the song playing....

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

Actually, Fred was perfectly clear about what she wants.

And given the relationship between Fred and friend, the wifes behaviour while maybe not psycho level (yet) is most certainly not "normal" or appropriate.

Not really.
Has she asked him to leave his wife and run away with her, does she just want a romantic, one-night tryst? Maybe she is just having fun teasing him (as she has seen how he looks at her). Maybe she just wants him to give her a tune-up or oil change...maybe do a little wrenching for her (her car repaired at a discount).

If she just has the hots for him and is looking for a little sex, she will just move on to someone else a bit more available. She will not find someone hard to find.

If she is "in love" and wants to chuck her life and run away with him...that is something different altogether. She will not go away easily.

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by MRM

The title of Fred’s post is “I’ve got a stalker what should I do”. In the conventional use of the English language that is asking for advice. But Fred has a long history of posting here, soliciting opinions if not advice and then just doing what he was going to do anyway.

Or in other words, he just enjoys the attention here by being in the center of drama?

There is one other possible scenario. Without knowing the other actors in this drama, there is always the chance that Fred is being tested by his wife to see if he is loyal (in which case he has bigger problems than an unsolicited admirer.