Pelican Parts
Parts Catalog Accessories Catalog How To Articles Tech Forums
Call Pelican Parts at 888-280-7799
Shopping Cart Cart | Project List | Order Status | Help



Go Back   Pelican Parts Forums > Miscellaneous and Off Topic Forums > Off Topic Discussions


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Rate Thread
Author
Thread Post New Thread    Reply
Registered
 
Racerbvd's Avatar
The Stupid is Strong in this One.

Share36K
Tweet
A Florida man is being hospitalized at*St. Mary’s Medical Center after being partially emasculated from a severe shark bite.
John H. Bishop, 48, was snorkeling off the coast of West Palm Beach with family and friends when he noticed a small nurse shark swimming nearby.

Bishop apparently heavily intoxicated under the influence of alcohol and believing that nurse sharks posed no threat to humans started dangling his genitals in front of the carnivorous creature.

Bishop who openly acknowledges he “caressed and teased” the wild animal with his “testicles and penis” during several minutes was suddenly attacked and was rapidly pulled back onto the boat by family and friends.

“I know John was pretty drunk, but he was smearing his genitals over the shark’s mouth like it was lipstick. It’s almost as if he was trying to put his penis into the shark’s mouth. It was an accident waiting to happen” Joshua Stuart, a friend of Bishop later told reporters.

John H. Bishop, 48, was heavily intoxicated under the influence of alcohol when he playfully decided to dangle his genitals in front of a nurse shark, a carnivorous sea creature bearing rows of thousands of impressive, serrated teeth.

“Had he known that it would bite off half of his penis, John would never have done what he did. Alcohol is no excuse. He just wants to warn the public that nurse sharks are dangerous animals and not meant to fool around with,” Bishop’s wife warned reporters, visibly devastated.
John H. Bishop was rapidly brought to*St. Mary’s Medical Center where doctors were forced to partially amputate the head of Bishop’s penis to separate the animal from the victim’s genitals.

The glans penis was tragically left inoperable after being severely damaged and partly digested by the animal although St. Mary’s Medical Center medical staff did confirm both testicles were left intact and undamaged.

As inoffensive as nurse sharks may appear, experts warn they are ranked fourth in documented shark bites on humans,*likely due to incautious behavior by divers on account of the nurse shark’s slow, sedentary nature.
​​​​​​​https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/florida-swimmer-partially-emasculated-after-taunting-baby-shark-with-his-penis/

__________________
Byron

20+ year PCA member

Many Cool Porsches, Projects& Parts, Vintage BMX bikes too
Old 12-28-2019, 12:05 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #1 (permalink)
RETIRED
 
Joe Bob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: BOULDER Colorado
Posts: 39,412
Garage
Ya can't fix stupid....
__________________
1983/3.6, backdate to long hood
2012 ML350 3.0 Turbo Diesel
Old 12-28-2019, 12:38 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #2 (permalink)
Registered
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Nevada City, Ca
Posts: 2,214
Too bad the shark didn’t get the hanging fruit. Would have stopped the stupid right there.
Old 12-28-2019, 01:21 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #3 (permalink)
Registered
 
rfuerst911sc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Dahlonega , Georgia
Posts: 14,666
Interesting way to cut bait and run 😁
Old 12-28-2019, 01:30 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #4 (permalink)
Registered
 
Bill Douglas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: bottom left corner of the world
Posts: 22,765
I hope the shark is OK. If he is the sort of guy who puts it in a shark's face it's probably been places we would not want to know about.
Old 12-28-2019, 01:53 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #5 (permalink)
Registered
 
rfuerst911sc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Dahlonega , Georgia
Posts: 14,666
I wonder if the shark ever gagged 😁
Old 12-28-2019, 02:03 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #6 (permalink)
 
AutoBahned
 
RWebb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Greater Metropolitan Nimrod, Orygun
Posts: 55,993
Garage
Quote:
Originally Posted by Racerbvd View Post

A Florida man ...
unh huh
Old 12-28-2019, 02:28 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #7 (permalink)
Registered
 
URY914's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Jacksonville FL
Posts: 50,449
Garage
A Florida man visiting from NY.
__________________
Jacksonville. Florida

https://www.flickr.com/photos/ury914/

Last edited by URY914; 12-28-2019 at 03:29 PM..
Old 12-28-2019, 02:30 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #8 (permalink)
Back in the saddle again
 
masraum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Central TX west of Houston
Posts: 56,143
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Bob View Post
Ya can't fix stupid....
Actually, it sounds like stupid got itself fixed
Old 12-28-2019, 03:13 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #9 (permalink)
AutoBahned
 
RWebb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Greater Metropolitan Nimrod, Orygun
Posts: 55,993
Garage
Joe Bobbitt no longer dumbest guy caught 'short'...
Old 12-28-2019, 03:16 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #10 (permalink)
Registered
 
wdfifteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 29,321
Garage
“Had he known it would bite off half his penis, John would never have done what he did.”

Well, that says it all right there.
__________________
.

Last edited by wdfifteen; 12-28-2019 at 03:23 PM..
Old 12-28-2019, 03:17 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #11 (permalink)
Model Citizen
 
herr_oberst's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: The Voodoo Lounge
Posts: 18,954
Quote:
Originally Posted by RWebb View Post
unh huh
Goes without saying.
__________________
"I would be a tone-deaf heathen if I didn't call the engine astounding. If it had been invented solely to make noise, there would be shrines to it in Rome"
Old 12-28-2019, 03:29 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #12 (permalink)
 
FUSHIGI
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: somewhere between here and there
Posts: 10,755
John "Stubby" Bishop!
__________________
Cults require delusions.
Old 12-28-2019, 07:20 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #13 (permalink)
Registered
 
dewolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 7,917
^ hahahaahaha
__________________
In Heaven… the mechanics are German, the chefs are French, the police are British, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss.
In Hell…the mechanics are French, the police are German, the chefs are British, the lovers are Swiss and everything is organized by the Italians.
Old 12-28-2019, 08:10 PM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #14 (permalink)
Registered
 
rfuerst911sc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Dahlonega , Georgia
Posts: 14,666
When doing home plumbing repairs I wonder if he'll continue to use shark bite fittings .......... I'll be here all week folks
__________________
2002 Boxster S . Arctic silver + black top/int. Jake Raby 3.6 SS engine " the beast ". GT3 front bumper, GT3 side skirts and GT3 TEK rear diffuser. 1999 996 C4 coupe black/grey with FSI 3.8 engine . Rear diffuser , front spoiler lip with ducktail spoiler .
Old 12-29-2019, 02:27 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #15 (permalink)
Registered
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 9,733
Why do you get heavily intoxicated and go snorkeling....just thinking that this was the first step in stupidity ?
Old 12-29-2019, 03:59 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #16 (permalink)
?
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 30,499
I wuz gonna suggest that John not go off half cocked anymore
Old 12-29-2019, 04:13 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #17 (permalink)
Get off my lawn!
 
GH85Carrera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 85,084
Garage
Just stupid at a level that is hard to comprehend.
__________________
Glen
49 Year member of the Porsche Club of America
1985 911 Carrera; 2017 Macan
1986 El Camino with Fuel Injected 350 Crate Engine
My Motto: I will never be too old to have a happy childhood!
Old 12-29-2019, 06:22 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #18 (permalink)
Almost Banned Once
 
sc_rufctr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Adelaide South Australia
Posts: 38,417
Send a message via MSN to sc_rufctr
You have to ask... WTF was he thinking?
__________________
- Peter
Old 12-29-2019, 06:26 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #19 (permalink)
Registered
 
rfuerst911sc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Dahlonega , Georgia
Posts: 14,666
Quote:
Originally Posted by sc_rufctr View Post
You have to ask... WTF was he thinking?
I think it is pretty obvious there was no thinking taking place . In addition to the alcohol consumption my guess is not much goes on in the grey matter between his ears ☹️ I think this knuckle draggers best time of life was the 6 years he spent in high school 😀

Old 12-29-2019, 06:34 AM
  Pelican Parts Catalog | Tech Articles | Promos & Specials    Reply With Quote #20 (permalink)
Reply


 


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:17 PM.


 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright 2025 Pelican Parts, LLC - Posts may be archived for display on the Pelican Parts Website -    DMCA Registered Agent Contact Page
 

DTO Garage Plus vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.